


Of Pink and Green

by johnllauren



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Jade owns a froyo place, Multi, all dead characters died before this begins, frozen yogurt shop AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-01
Updated: 2016-04-09
Packaged: 2018-03-26 16:13:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 35
Words: 81,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3856927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johnllauren/pseuds/johnllauren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roxy Lalonde has an obsession with frozen yogurt. The only thing better than frozen yogurt is cats. Luckily for her, her best friend happens to own the best froyo place in town.<br/>Calliope is new to town. Her brother has convinced her to go to a stupid street faire in a place she doesn't like while it rains. She only enters the frozen yogurt shop because she's hungry and wants to get out of the rain.<br/>And then Calliope meets a girl named Roxy.<br/>They both like frozen yogurt a good deal more than they did after they meet each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. == > be Calliope

Your name is Calliope, and you’re beginning to regret moving to this new town.

It seems so… boring, so industrial. The town is full of red, brick apartment buildings. All because of some dumb train station that happens to be so conveniently placed at the center of the town. You know you should be grateful for said train station. After all, it transports many people to work each day, including your brother. You can recall his words on the day he had showed you the apartment the two of you now share. _It’s so close to the train station, Calliope! I can get to work so easily, Calliope! I can work more hours, Calliope_! You shake your head.

Never mind any of this. You had promised yourself that you would make the most of this move. You’re going to head into this town with your usual happy manner, and you aren’t going to get discouraged. You’re going to prove to your brother that you can flourish here.

Oh, who are you kidding? It’s only your first full day here and it’s raining. Not even drizzles, either. The sky has opened up and unleashed hell upon your entire town.

“Come on, Calliope, there’s a street faire not even ten minutes away from here. We should go.” Caliborn, your brother, says. He seems a lot more cheerful here than he was at your old apartment, you’ll give him that. He hasn’t cursed anyone out yet. Yet.

“Caliborn, darling, I’d love to. But it’s raining something terrible out there. Surely nobody will be at the street faire today. Maybe next weekend!” you smile at your brother, but he doesn’t seem to be taking no for an answer.

“Please, for me?”

You look up at your brother, who gives you doe-eyes and looks at you hopefully. He’s absolutely impossible. “Alright, I’ll go with you to this faire. Only for today, though.”

Caliborn begins to lift his lips into what may be the beginning of a smile, but stops himself and scowls instead. “I knew you’d see some logic eventually.”

You shake your head at him and head into your room. Most of your belongings are still packed in boxes that lie around the room, but your makeup and most of your wardrobe have been unpacked. The only things in your closet are sundresses, being as it’s already late May. You furrow your eyebrows. You really don’t want to get one of your good dresses all wet and ruined, but first impressions are important. Besides, there are tents at street faires, right?

You end up wearing a solid pastel green sundress with a white belt tied into a bow over your waist. Your dyed white hair is tied into wavy pigtails at the top of your head. The shoes you’re wearing are tall white boots. As much as fashion matters, you would hate to ruin a good pair of ballet flats. You pull on a short denim jacket, but it’s better than nothing.

Caliborn is waiting impatiently by the door of your apartment by the time you finish getting ready. “It took you long enough!” He exclaims as he opens the door.

You flinch away from the rain as it falls, keeping your hands over your hair so it doesn’t get ruined. Caliborn shakes his head at you.

“It’s just rain,” he comments as you duck under an apartment balcony.

You shake your head. “I’ll be darned if this rain ruins my hair today! This took an exceptionally long amount of time, and it looks exquisite. There is no way I’m going to let this nonsensical weather ruin it!”

Caliborn raises his eyebrows, but doesn’t argue it further. If you hadn’t been, well, you, he probably would’ve dragged the simple bicker into a physical fight. Your brother is unfortunately known as an angry knob, and even you can’t deny that. You wonder if you’ll have to drag him home, kicking and screaming, once again today. Who knows? Your brother is in a new town, and it surely possesses at least one person that’ll perturb him.

It takes twice as long as it probably should have to arrive at the first faire tent. With you ducking under anything you could find and Caliborn’s constant complaining, there was no way you would get to the faire in ten minutes. Your brother sighs with relief when the first white tent comes into view. You sprint to it, quickly fixing your hair with your fingers once you get inside.

The first tent is full of handmade jewelry. Five tables adorned with bracelets, necklaces, and earrings border the white tent, and a small desk with a cash register and cashier sits in the center. “Ooh, Caliborn! Look!”

You take interest in a bracelet. It’s woven with a light green thread. In the center hangs a small silver heart charm. You gingerly lift it off the table and hold it up for your brother to see. “Isn’t it pulchritudinous?” you ask.

Caliborn rolls his eyes. “I fail to see how it is in any way different from any bracelet here.”

You doubt he even knows what ‘pulchritudinous’ means. “I’m purchasing it.”

“It’s a waste of eight dollars, if you ask me.”

You pay for the bracelet. It only takes you three tries to tie it around your wrist – a noteworthy feat. Covering the top of your head with your hands, you run into the next tent over. Caliborn audibly groans behind you, but follows anyway.

The next few hours are comprised of shopping and sighing at the street faire. Of course, you do the shopping and Caliborn does the sighing. To be fair, Caliborn is the one who dragged you here. He should’ve been prepared for the inevitable shopping spree that you have taken part in. Caliborn, of course, complains the entire time. You didn’t expect any better from him, honestly.

You have multiple spoils from your excursion. These include a few gemstones and geodes from the rock tent, a small statue of a fairy from the tent selling statues (“What are you ever going to use that for?”), a pastel green beanie, and your bracelet. Caliborn regards all of these as worthless expenditures, but you ignore him. You’re going to decorate your new furniture with the rocks, and the small statue would make a nice statement on the coffee table in your apartment. The beanie, of course, will serve as a hat in the winter.

“Calliope, it’s May!” Your brother argues.

“Stellar cognizance, love.” You remark, “I’ll need it in the winter. Besides, it was only half priced.”

“Whatever. I’m starving, let’s get something to eat.” Caliborn says, pulling you onto the sidewalk.

You scowl, covering your hair. You doubt it even matters anymore, your hair is probably ruined.

Scanning the area for some sort of food place, you spot a cute little frozen yogurt shop. “Look!” you exclaim, gesturing to the shop.

“Yes,” Caliborn monotones, “nothing like some more sugar.”

You stride into the shop. There’s a sign above it that reads “Jade’s Frozen Yogurt” in curly lettering. The shop is painted white with bright green highlights. White and green tables are scattered around the shop. The wall facing the street is made entirely of glass, and a bright green breakfast bar with ten chairs is placed in front of it. On the far wall of the shop is four soft serve machines, each holding two flavors of yogurt. The left adjacent wall is lined by a topping stand that has been painted green. On the wall parallel to the topping stand is a counter and a cash register.

A young girl, most likely around your age, stands behind the counter. Her long, black hair is tied back into a high ponytail. She’s wearing a bright green apron that says “Jade’s Frozen Yogurt” in the same curly font that’s on the sign. The girl wears a bright green visor to presumably keep her hair back. It has the shop name on it as well. She has bright green eyes and a genuine smile.

“Good afternoon! Welcome to Jade’s Frozen Yogurt! I’m Jade, do you need help with anything?” The girl, Jade, greets. She has a bubbly voice, and most likely a lively personality to match.

“Hi! Um, we’re here for yogurt?” you say, though it’s almost like a question.

Jade beams even wider than she already was, if that’s even possible. “Just take one of those cups over there and fill it with as much as you like!”

You smile politely and take a cup from the stack of them by the yogurt machines. Caliborn isn’t far behind you. He’s probably frowning, too out of place in this happy little shop.

Unfortunately, you have absolutely no idea how to work these yogurt machines. You glance around, looking for people that might be able to help you. There’s an average-heighted blonde at one of the machines next to you. She looks approachable.

“Excuse me,” you begin, “do you happen to know how to work these machines?”

The girl turns around to face you. She has soft features and short blonde hair that curls up at the end. Her black painted lips curve into a smile. “’Course I do! Here, let me help.”

Your hand is placed hesitantly on the bulbous black lever that you saw the blonde girl holding before. She places her cold hand on top of yours. “Push down,” the girl instructs.

Her hands guide you as you press down on the lever. You aren’t pushing it hard enough to hold it down, so she presses harder. Chocolate frozen yogurt swirls out of the machine and into your cup. “Thank you.” You say.

The blonde waves it off like it’s nothing. “No problem!” She lifts her yogurt cup – full of vanilla yogurt – from the counter. “I’m Roxy.”

“Calliope.” you respond.


	2. == > Be Roxy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone says not to talk to strangers, but Roxy supposes that doesn't apply to when you meet a cute girl at the yogurt shop.

Chapter Two   
== > Be Roxy   
Your name is now Roxy, and you’ve totally just met a cute girl at the yogurt store! 

“I’m Roxy.” You say, smiling at her. 

The girl smiles back. “Calliope.” 

You walk over to the cash register, and Calliope follows you uncertainly. She doesn’t seem like she knows anything about the people here, and you’ve never seen her before. Perhaps she just moved. 

Because of the street faire, Jade’s shop is bustling with people. There are a few people in line in front of you, but you barely pay them any attention. Jade’s quick when it comes to ringing people up, unless it’s someone she knows. You suppose she has to be; the shop is on one of the main roads, and who doesn’t love frozen yogurt? The lunch rush hasn’t even started yet. You hope Jade gets a lot of business today because she deserves the money, although you won’t be able to talk to her much if she’s barraged by customers. 

“Roxy!” Jade exclaims. “How are you? You haven’t been here in forever!” 

You smile. “Hey, Jade! I’ve been pretty busy. Ya’know, college and essays and stuff. How’ve you been?”

Jade nods, seeming like she’s considering things. “I’m okay. Jake sent me another letter last week. He’s in Scotland now.” She rings up your yogurt and gives you a ‘friends and family’ discount. You pay the full price anyway. 

“He did? Jade, that’s wonderful? What did he say?”

Jade cranes her neck to see over your head. “I’ll tell you everything, as soon as the line dies down.” She says. 

“I anxiously await your news.” You declare, moving over so Calliope can pay for her yogurt. 

Jade greets Calliope as she would anyone else, a grin on her face and her voice as bubbly as ever. “What’s your name?” She asks.

“I’m Calliope.” 

“Well, hi, Calliope! I hope you plan to come here often, there’s so few people to talk to around here!” Jade tells her. 

She isn’t wrong, everyone here is a commuter that only wants to go to the city. As far as you know, Jade was the only other girl your age in the whole town aside from Calliope. There used to be more, but… You can’t afford to think about that. Especially not in public. 

Calliope nods. “I definitely will, thanks! I, uh, don’t know many people here yet.” 

There’s another reason supporting your idea that Calliope must be new to town. You’ll have to ask her after she pays. Maybe you’ll get the privilege of being the first person to get to know Calliope. You smile. You might be able to have an advantage when it comes to winning over the cute girl. 

Calliope pays for her yogurt and you beckon her over to the breakfast bar. She sits on the green chair near the wall, and you take the spot next to her. You hand her a plastic spoon you had gotten from the counter. She thanks you happily.

“So, Calliope, I haven’t seen you around before. Did you just move here or something?” You ask. 

Calliope nods. “This is my first full day here, actually! My twin brother dragged me outside. He’s over there, in the corner. The grumpy one. He isn’t very… copacetic.” 

You laugh. It’s a strange sound, your laugh. You haven’t heard your real laugh in so long, but it rings around the room, bouncing off the walls and echoing back into your ears. What Calliope had said wasn’t even that funny, but you suppose you just needed a reason to laugh. Dirk will be pleased when you tell him. Heck, he may not even believe you. 

“I know where you’re coming from there. I’ve got a very difficult cousin, though we used to be so close that he was just like my brother.” You admit. 

Calliope raises her eyebrows inquisitively. “You said you used to be close. Do you still converse with him?” 

“Oh, yeah, I still talk ta’ Dirk! But he moved back to Texas, where he was born, about a year ago. We still talk on the phone, of course! But, yanno, stuff gets in the way. School, work, the daily yogurt, life, they’re all things that get in the way!” 

Calliope giggles at your comment about yogurt. “Is he as bad as Caliborn?” 

You shrug. “Well, I dunno your Caliborn. But Dirk was so difficult in social situations! Jeez, I’d be trying to do something nice for him, like try to introduce him to some boy who would’ve been great for him, and he just waves the guy off! It was like he was untouchable! One-word answers, no eye contact, ugh. I don’t even know why I befriended him in the first place.” 

Calliope laughs. “Oh, Caliborn is nothing like that. He’s very vocal. Too loud, actually. He acts like he despises everything in the world; it’s horrendous! Caliborn screams at everyone he meets. I’m genuinely surprised that he hasn’t cursed anybody in this place out yet. And the fistfights he used to get in! Don’t even get me started. I’m absolutely certain that he’s bled enough to die from blood loss about four times over. Not at once, though. That’d be terrible.” 

Damn, her British accent is adorable. “Is he being quiet today?” 

“Yes, thankfully.” Calliope sighs. “I suppose he’s trying to make me feel better about the whole moving thing. So far, this is the only part I’ve actually enjoyed.” 

You smile. “You’ve been checking out the street faire, I take it?” You sound so formal, it’s surprising. 

“Yes. So far I’ve blown nearly one hundred dollars on knickknacks. Caliborn may have actually been right, for once in his life. I did go a bit crazy.”

“’S happened to all of us, I think.” You say. “They have one of those darn things every spring, summer, and fall. I’m pretty sure that everyone here has made the mistake of going to their first one. Don’t worry, though. After that, you’ll just walk right by them, wondering what sucker is going to spend hundreds a’ dollars on useless stuff they don’t even need.” 

“I trust you made the same mistake?” 

You nod. “I did. There was a whole tent selling dumb cat stuff. No, I shouldn’t say that – cat stuff is never dumb, no matter how useless it may be – but there was a whole tent full of it! And I don’t even mean one of the jewelry ones, where only half the tent is full. It was bigger than the rock tent! Long story short, I spent hundreds of dollars on lame cat merchandise that I ended up throwing out.” 

Calliope tries to stifle her laugh by shielding her mouth with her hand and fails. “I’m sorry,” she apologizes, “I really shouldn’t be laughing, that’s just kind of funny.” 

You laugh again, and you can see Jade look up and smile in your peripheral vision. “Don’t apologize, it was a dumb thing to do, buying all those cat things.”

Calliope looks up at you. “I take it you enjoy cats?” 

You look at her like she’s insane and nod furiously. “Cats are… cats are my life.” 

She shakes her head, smiling. “Do you own any?” 

You look into the distance, trying to look dramatic. “Once upon a time, I wanted a cat. And then a very, very, evil overlord told me that he will not allow any pets other than fish in his apartment building. So I cried and cried and I am still crying. Internally. I will continue crying forever.” 

Calliope grins. “I take it that the evil overlord is your landlord.” 

You nod grimly. “Unfortunately. And I checked, but none of the apartments here allow animals. Well, not including service dogs. But I don’t think purposely making myself blind just to be able to get a cat would be proficient.”

“Yes, I don’t really think so either.” 

Calliope smiles at you, and it seems like everything is going well as far as flirting goes – you’ve practically got her in the palm of your hand. 

And then several things go to hell at once.


	3. Calliope ==> Deal With Your Brother

Chapter Three   
Calliope == > Deal with Your Brother

Your name is Calliope, and your brother is a piece of work. You don’t really know how you ended up being the one who takes care of him, but here you are. 

Things had been going wonderfully with Roxy! She was talking to you and had been responding, and you’re pretty sure that you were about to make your first friend in this strange new town. In fact, she was in the middle of saying something when your head whipped around at somebody yelling. The loudness of it was enough to make most of the people in the shop turn around. 

Roxy was the first one to hear the clatter in the back of the shop and the angry yelling of two faceless people. She turns around to see what’s going on, and that makes you want to know what’s happening as well. 

Two people in the back of the room seem to be fighting, but you aren’t certain. One of them is short with unruly dark hair, and the other… the other is of average height, with broad shoulders and neat, close-cropped hair. He’s screaming a long, detailed list of expletives. His voice is familiar, and… oh, no. 

You whisper a profanity yourself. 

Of course Caliborn would get in a fight with someone on your first day here. After all, he wouldn’t be your brother if he hadn’t. 

“What’s the matter, Calliope?” Roxy asks. She’s watching the argument with a gleam in her eyes. She thinks it’s funny.

There’s no time for you to explain yourself, you have to get in there and break that stupid fight up before things get bad. You shove your unfinished yogurt away from you with a little bit too much force and hop down from your chair. “That’s Caliborn.” Is the halfhearted explanation you give her. 

At least Caliborn doesn’t throw the first punch. The black-haired boy aims his fist at Caliborn’s cheekbone, but your brother dodges. It collides instead with his bicep. Caliborn retaliates and punches the other boy in the nose. The boy shouts an obscenity as his nose starts to bleed. 

You run across the shop over to the yogurt machines, where they’re fighting. They seem to be really going at it, and you wonder if you can stop Caliborn before the fighting gets too bad. Before things like last time happen. You push the thought from your mind. 

“Caliborn!” you yelp, “Get off him! We’re going home!” 

Caliborn doesn’t hear you, or if he does, he does an excellent job of making it seem like he doesn’t. 

You’ve seen your brother get into many a fistfight before, but before all his opponents where not as skilled as he. You don’t say this to be arrogant, you say this because you have seen Caliborn fight. He’s good, too good. Like your father. No, better than your father. You suppose he learned from the best. The thought is more than enough to make you scowl. 

This time, however, he seems to be evenly matched. The two of them are quite good fighters, as much as you hate to admit it. They almost look like one of those rolling gray clouds the characters turn into in cartoons. The one difference is that it isn’t funny in real life. Especially when one of the characters happens to be your brother. 

“Caliborn!” you’re practically screaming his name now, and he still isn’t listening. 

Jade is torn away from her current customer by the fighting. “Calliope, what’re you doing so close to them? You’re gonna get hurt!” 

You struggle to regain your happy demeanor and turn back to Jade, an apologetic smile on your lips. You’ve learned quite a few things about faking it. Just like a play, Callie. Just like a play. “Sorry about this. That’s, er, my brother.” 

Jade lets a laugh bubble out of her lips. “It’s not your fault! Besides, these people get yogurt and a show!” 

You smile. “You’re sure they’re not going to get injured?” 

Jade shrugs, giving you a pathetic grin. “Can’t promise that. The guy whose fighting with your brother has gotten into fights before. I don’t even know his name! But your brother, he’s good. Really good. I don’t think I’ve seen anybody hold their own against him for that long!” 

“You mean this guy gets into fistfights regularly? He doesn’t seem that pleasant to be around.” 

Jade shakes her head. “Not regularly. He’s just a very aggressive person, if you know what I’m getting at. But some people push him too far, and, well…” she gestures to your brother, a tangled, punching mass of limbs. 

“Well, it seems like he’s going to get along swimmingly with my brother.” You say sarcastically. 

Jade giggles, turning back to her work. 

“Caliborn!” you reprimand, “Get off him or I’ll drag you off myself!” 

Your brother does nothing. You sigh, shaking out your hands before tugging an arm. It could be either of theirs, but there’s a fifty percent chance it belongs to your brother. Your fingers wrap around tan, muscled, and bruised skin. Definitely Caliborn. 

“Hey! Calliope!” Your brother yells. The statement is followed by a string of profanities. You ignore him. 

You drag your brother off of the man and near a table. “What were you thinking?” you hiss. 

He scowls. “That – that idiot started it! It’s all his fault, I swear!” 

“I don’t care about that.” You say angrily, pulling him up buy the collar of his shirt, “Let’s just go home.” 

Caliborn scampers to his feet. He follows you out of the shop. Just before you leave, you send Roxy an apologetic smile and mouth ‘see you tomorrow?’ She nods. 

“Caliborn English!” you scold as soon as the two of you exit the shop. 

“Calliope, I didn’t mean to! He was just such a-”

You cut your brother off before he can say another swear. “I don’t care! You begged me to come to this faire, and I was having a good time in that yogurt shop! I was about to make a friend in this hellhole! But do you care? No! Because all you want to do is yell at people and get into fights and I’ve had enough of it! You’re going to ruin both of our reputations here!” 

Your brother looks at the ground like a kicked puppy. There’s a small voice in the back of your head, the remainder of your sanity, which tells you to back off of him. He’s just being Caliborn. But you’re angry, and you’re an English. Unfortunately, adrenaline is already coursing through your veins. As much as you hate your family – aside from Caliborn – you’re angry, and you’re not calming down. Which means the English part of your family is going to show up. 

“I know you hated dad’s house. I did too. But I had friends there. If I don’t have friends here, then I’ll just be miserable. I don’t want to move back in with dad, Caliborn, I really don’t. But I don’t want to be left here, unhappy and friendless because of my lame twin! Or if you act out at work and get fired, we’ll have no other choice. You’re our only source of income, Caliborn. We can’t lose that.” 

Caliborn’s expression is pained, and he adjusts his jacket’s hood so it covers his face. Oh, right. You had been so busy, you forgot it was raining. Your hair is already drenched, it’s not like it matters anymore. Besides, you’re only about eight minutes away from home. 

You look at your brother sadly. Your words had cut right into him, and you know that. As much as it pains you to admit it, you had kind of aimed for that. Oh boy, had that been a bad move. You already feel terrible. 

Had you honestly threatened to move back in with your father? Surely Caliborn knows you would never do that. Even on your barely-there artist’s salary and Caliborn’s source of income, the boss of some business in the city, you would somehow manage to pay the bills. Hell, you’d live on the streets with your twin. 

You unlock the apartment door, letting Caliborn in. He takes his jacket off and hangs it on the coat hanger in the doorway. You can see the beginnings of bruises on his face. Caliborn sighs dejectedly and turns away from you.

“Caliborn, I… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said.” You apologize, hanging your head. 

Your brother’s resolve dissolves and he looks at you. “You don’t have to apologize, Callie. I was a jerk back at the shop. I really shouldn’t have gotten into a fight like that.” 

“I know you were a jerk. That doesn’t excuse what I said, though. You know I’ll never leave you, right?” 

Caliborn nods, pinching his nose. The blood from it is dripping onto his shirt. You wince.

“Here, allow me to at least clean you up. You look terrible.” Oh, boy. Some more cuts and bruises to patch up. You’re so excited. 

Caliborn follows you into the bathroom. “That guy back there – he really put up a fight. A worthy opponent of the greatness that just so happens to be me.” 

You roll your eyes, pulling the bandages out of the cabinet below the sink. “I don’t care how ‘worthy’ he was, Caliborn. Don’t do that again!” 

“You take all the fun out of everything!” Your brother whines. 

“Are you trying to tell me that you didn’t get hurt at all?” 

He swats your hand away as you go to clean his wounds. “I’ll be fine!” 

You ignore your horribly stubborn brother and clean his cuts. How he got cut, you have no idea. But you don’t think you’re eager to figure out the answer. There isn’t anything you can do with his bruises, however. Caliborn just sits down morosely and tries to look bored. He ends up almost crying. 

“I’m finished.” You declare, holding your hands up in a way that says I surrender. 

Caliborn breathes a sigh of relief. “Can I go play video games now?” He asks, like you’re his mother. 

You nod, and he limps awkwardly into his room. You sigh. What are you going to do with your brother?

With Caliborn out of your way for the rest of the day, there’s not much left to do. You change out of your dripping wet clothes and blow-dry your hair. Your drawing notebook lies in front of you, abandoned. You can’t seem to stop your thoughts. 

What do Jade and Roxy think about you? They haven’t really gotten to know you yet, but after the fiasco with your lovely brother and the positively charming man at Jade’s shop, had they jumped to conclusions? Perhaps they think your brother is crazy. They really wouldn’t be the first two people to think that, but what if Caliborn’s image affects how they see you?

You sigh.

Caliborn pokes his head out of his room. “Hey, Calliope?”

“Yeah?” 

“You’re the best sister!” 

You smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait on this, I got sick. But I'm going to try to update every Wednesday.


	4. Roxy == > Eat Much More Yogurt Than You Probably Should

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roxy finds herself remembering things she really doesn't want to and our friend Dirk enters the picture.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *rubs hands together* alright we're getting to the repressed back-story! also I'd say this is a relatively sad chapter so go ahead have fun with this!

Chapter Four  
Roxy == > Eat Much More Yogurt Than You Probably Should

Your name is Roxy, and you’ve started coming to Jade’s yogurt shop a lot more than you should. Your visits have upgraded from once a week to every other day, and finally to every day. Each time, you get a yogurt. Why shouldn’t you? You’re already exploiting Jade’s shop, you can at least pay for it. Besides, yogurt is hella good. 

Why are you “exploiting” one of your best friend’s shop?

So you can see Calliope.

She comes to the shop every single day at precisely 12:30, just as the lunch rush is about to enter. Calliope serves herself the same damn yogurt every time – chocolate, but sometimes with a crushed graham cracker topping – and every day she sits in the same seat that she had on the first day she came. Then she eats her disgusting chocolate crap (vanilla all the way!) and talks to you because you’re always right there in the seat next to her. 

You find it… kind of endearing, honestly. 

Sometimes you wish you didn’t. Because it’s all because of this one girl that you find yourself at the same seat at the same place eating the same yogurt at the same time every single day. Frozen yogurt is great, of course, but eating it every single day can tend to get a little bit repetitive. You’re almost late to class a few times because you were talking to her. You start bringing your laptop with you and entering the shop early so you can write your term papers while you wait for Calliope to arrive. 

Hell, you even told Dirk about her. You don’t bring up many things about you while talking, which shows him how special Calliope is. When you talk on the phone with him, you can almost feel him trying not to make fun of you. You know he wants to. But instead he says nothing, because he knows how you’d react if he suggested you were in love with her. 

Which you are so totally not! There is absolutely no way in hell that you could be in love with Calliope at all, how dare anyone even suggest such a thing!

It’s late May, so college ends for summer vacation. You suffer through finals and somehow manage not to fail most of them. Your college lets out for the summer. And still, without fail, you meet Calliope at Jade’s Frozen Yogurt every single day.

It doesn’t take you much longer to realize that you wouldn’t be doing this for any random friend of yours. Sure, you love Jade with your whole heart. But she’s just a friend, albeit a good one that you’ve known for many years throughout many a crisis. You wouldn’t drop everything to see her every day. 

So why are you doing this for Calliope?

There’s really only one answer. No matter how much you want to deny this, no matter how much you don’t want it to be true, no matter how much you need it to be a lie, it’s the only possible answer. 

You like Calliope. As more than a friend. 

The first time you admit this to yourself, you’re sitting in your apartment eating soup for dinner. You’ve thinking about her, Calliope, and your chest did this little thing where it momentarily squeezed up, like your ribs were strings and someone is tightening them. 

You drop your spoon back into the bowl with a small, unceremonious clank and you close your eyes, forcing yourself to take deep breaths. Sometimes the grief could run you over like a train, even after a year and a half. 

The only time you’ve ever felt the tight chest thing was with Jane. 

Which means you have feelings for Calliope. 

You try and focus on the positive stuff, like getting to spend time with Calliope and how your heart will do backflips in your chest when she says your name. You’ll be able to see her every single day even before you confess to her – if, that is, you ever confess to her – and it won’t be weird because, hey, the two of you have been seeing each other every day for weeks. 

But all you can think about is Jane, and you hate it so much because you can’t even think about Calliope, the only thing that even crosses your mind is how your last relationship ended. 

Because Jane’s dead, and you haven’t even entertained the idea of getting back into the romance field since she died. 

Your chest still hurts, but instead of the happy feeling from thinking about Calliope, now you’re left with this sharp, empty pain. You reach for your phone to distract you by doing something, maybe you’ll check your Twitter, but even before you pick it up you know what you’re going to do. 

Dirk answers on the second ring. 

“Sup, Roxy?” he asks. 

You take a deep breath and promise yourself that you’re going to be cool and reserved when you answer him, just like Dirk is even when something’s clearly bothering him. You are a Strilonde, after all. And Strilondes show no weakness. It takes you a few seconds to answer him, and you know his eyebrows are probably raised and he’s waiting for you to say something. But you want to be absolutely sure that you can answer him without falling apart. 

Needless to say, that plan gets thrown out the window the second you attempt to put it to use. “Dirk, I…” your voice catches in the back of your throat and you will not cry, you are not going to cry. 

“Roxy, what’s wrong?” Your cousin sounds more alert than laid back now, and you hear the scraping of his chair on the wooden floor as he stands up. Great, now you’ve worried him.

“Nothing’s wrong, I’m fine.” You choke out, but you can feel tears beginning to stream down your cheeks. Dammit. 

“No, you aren’t.” Dirk says, his voice gentle but prodding. “What’s wrong?” 

Your shoulders sag. If you had any hope that Dirk wouldn’t find out what was freaking you out so much, it was gone. You sigh, wondering if there’s any proper way to phrase this. Dirk stays silent on the other line, waiting for you to say something. You don’t. 

“Is it about Jane?” He asks softly. 

You haven’t heard her name in so long. Hell, you haven’t thought her name in so long. Just the sound of it is enough to make you feel like someone is plunging a knife into your chest. 

You nod, but realize he can’t see you. “Yeah.” 

“What else?” 

You swallow. “Calliope.”

On the other line, you can hear something jingling. “Bro!” shouts someone in the distance – Dirk’s younger brother, Dave, “What’re you doing?” 

“Hold on a second.” Dirk murmurs into the receiver. The next time you hear his voice, it sounds like he’s further away from the phone. “I’ll explain in a minute! Just shut up!” 

Dirk returns to his phone. “Sorry about that.” 

“It’s okay.” You manage, “The reason I called isn’t important.” 

“Yes, it is.” Dirk insists.

You furrow your eyebrows, even though he can’t see you. “How do you know that?” you ask. You wipe off the tears on your cheeks. More fill their place.

“I know because you called me in hysterics.” Dirk tells you. “You only do that when something’s seriously wrong.” 

You hate it when he’s right.

“You know, I really hate it when you have a point.” 

“I always have a point.” 

There’s still a lump in your throat, and it makes your words come out warped. You sound like you’re crying, and you suppose that’s because you are. Either that or you’re sick, which you aren’t. You hate everything. Some stupid girl at a stupid yogurt shop shouldn’t be making you feel like this, you shouldn’t be feeling so stupid. Nothing should’ve happened to Jane in the first place. 

“You know, Roxy, if you aren’t going to spill anything, I’ll have to make you spill. I’ll be there in a day.” 

“No!” you say, much more forcefully than you had originally intended it to be. “I’m not letting you do that!” 

Dirk chuckles. “I’ve made up my mind. Besides, I should’ve come up there six months ago. A year ago. And I didn’t. Let me make it up to you by coming over there now. I’ll see you in twenty-six hours.” 

You open your mouth to protest. You’re about to come up with a counterargument when Dirk hangs up and the line goes dead. You scowl at your unresponsive phone. 

You would really like to say that you did something productive during the following twenty-six hours and forty minutes. Instead, you spend the whole day doing equal amounts of texting Dirk, calling Dirk, and reading wizard fanfiction on your phone. Your phone only dies once, because after that you’re smart enough to plug your phone into a charger. 

You even try texting Dave about Dirk’s whereabouts. He knows little more than you do, and tells you such. You sigh, but at least have enough common decency to thank him. 

About twenty-seven hours after your phone call with Dirk, you hear keys clanking outside your front door. Dirk unlocks the door and enters your apartment. Huh. You had always thought he discarded the keys you gave to him years and years ago. He steps into the disaster that you call your room. To be fair, it was atrocious even before your day-long mope-a-thon. 

You look up at your cousin. You haven’t seen Dirk in a year and a half. 

“Hey, Roxy,” he says, “long time no see.”

-.-.-  
== > Be Dirk from about 27 hours ago

You are now Dirk. Hell yeah. You are so cool.

Dirk == > Drive for twenty-six hours because you love your cousin

Your name is Dirk Strider, and boy, are you in for a road trip. Why are you even doing this anyway?

Because you love your cousin. And, admittedly, because you really messed up a year and a half ago and you owe her one. 

“Dave!” you yell over your shoulder, “I’m going out!”

“When’ll you be back?” your brother screams back. 

You think for a moment. “A week, at least.” 

“Who’s gonna make me food?” Dave whines sarcastically. You both know that Dave is more than capable of getting his own food. It doesn’t stop him, though. 

“First of all, you can make your own food! Besides, you’re just going to spend the whole time at Karkat’s house!” 

Your brother blushes scarlet and you smirk. 

“Karkat isn’t even in town, asshole. He went somewhere with his brother. Why he did, I’ll never know.” Dave tries to cover up his embarrassment, but he’s as red as a damn tomato. 

“Great. So you’ll do it over the phone, then.” 

“You can take as long as you like, actually. You know, you really don’t have to come back. Ever. I don’t need you in my life.” Dave glares at you as you laugh. 

You lift your eyebrow. “Might have to cut my visit short, then.” You comment dryly. 

You’re about to head out the door of your apartment when Dave stops you yet again. “Where are you going, anyway?” 

“To go see Roxy.” You shut the door before Dave can make another comment. 

-.-.-

You really don’t see why you agreed to do this. There are only about thirteen hours left until you get to Roxy’s place; you’re already about halfway there. Still, it’s almost seven in the morning and you haven’t slept all night. You’re constantly half-asleep, and you decide that in the interest of not crashing your car, you should really stop and get coffee. 

There’s a Starbucks at the next rest station. You pull into the parking lot. 

Your thoughts drift to Roxy. How’s she doing? It’s been roughly fourteen hours since she called you. You haven’t heard her that hysteric in at least a year.

Why did you even leave her there in the first place?

It was a stupid act of “self-preservation”, that’s really all it was. That’s what Roxy had called it during the argument the two of you had gotten into when you told her you were leaving. She was right. You’ve always just been too stubborn to admit it. 

Moving to Texas was a stupid, spur-of-the-moment decision, a solution that was too permanent for a fixable problem. You like to think you were just under a lot of pressure and that it was the only decent answer that didn’t leave everyone moping like heartbroken puppies. You like to think you don’t regret making the decision.

After all, Striders don’t have regrets. 

You do regret it. 

You had just wanted to get away from that god-awful town. After Jane’s death, everything that seemed promising went belly-up. 

Jane’s family moved away from Skaia a week after she died. Jane’s younger brother, John, had gone with them. John is Dave’s age, and your brother had had a “crush” on John for years. At least, Dave called it a crush. You personally think your brother could’ve been in love. He should have just told John when he had the chance. 

John didn’t even tell Dave he was moving. 

You had been dating Jane’s cousin, Jake. The two of you had been dating for three years. You were so certain of your life back then. Jake had been talking about marriage. You were trying to work up the courage to propose. You’d already been shopping for a ring twice – once with Jane and then again with Roxy. Regardless of your jitters and hesitations, you had wanted to get married. The two of you were in love. 

He left after Jane died, too. 

At least he told you he was leaving. Jake had said that he just needed a change of scenery. He told you he needed to get away for a while. He couldn’t bear living in Skaia without Jane. You accepted his decision. You told Jake that you’d always be happy with him, no matter where the two of you decided to move. He said that wasn’t what he meant. 

And then he dumped you. Jake didn’t listen to anything you said. You had begged him. The two of you had been planning to get married, he couldn’t just leave! He did, though. 

He’s currently climbing some stupid mountains in Europe. Jake hasn’t spoken to you since he left. 

Sure, things hadn’t been looking up for you and Dave, but Roxy had really been taking it the hardest. After all, Jane had died. They’d been dating even longer than you and Jake. Five years. Your cousin loved Jane, she really did. You’re certain that she still does. 

But you just left. Because maybe Jake was right. Maybe everyone just needed a change of scenery. Besides, you wouldn’t be able to look at Skaia without seeing Jake and Jane and John, laughing and walking right next to you, Dave, and Roxy. 

Dave hadn’t been doing much more than moping, and he was getting even less homework done than he normally did. You hadn’t been doing much better. Roxy was an absolute mess. So you took it upon yourself to take care of both of them. You cooked, cleaned the apartments of, and looked after two humans-turned-potatoes. All while dealing with your own inner turmoil. 

That’s when you decided to just pick up everything and move back to Texas. Your brother protested every second he could. You could tell Dave didn’t want to leave, but even that couldn’t change your mind. He would throw things at you, but you were able to dodge everything he sent flying. You got back at him by dumping smuppets into his room. The two of you got into countless arguments the week before moving when you told him. Striders really shouldn’t be allowed to go up against each other, because both of you knew to send insults that would hurt. 

Roxy wasn’t happy with you either. She only got in one argument with you, because you didn’t tell her until the day before you left. That’s when she hurled all the self-preservation insults at you. She apologized during a phone call a week after you left. 

 

Jade Harley, Roxy’s sister’s friend, moved to Skaia not long after. She turned out to be Jake’s younger cousin. What a small world. From what Roxy’s told you, she still has a running correspondence. You don’t know how much the two talk, because Roxy very carefully tiptoed around the subject, but it makes you wonder if Jake has any interest in moving back to Skaia. 

As much as you would like to move back to Skaia now that Roxy called you, you know you can’t. You have a job now, a life. You work in for a small business in the center of the town you now call home. A pleasant, though reserved, man named Equius is your boss. He has an assistant named Nepeta, but the two of them are close like siblings. You think they should date. They tell you they’re just friends. BS. 

You work as a mechanic, fixing cars and sometimes making things out of spare parts. Equius lets you take most of the parts at the shop that are useless, and you try to fashion things out of them. A few months ago, you made an actual robot. You’re currently working on getting him to respond to people. 

Even Dave has adjusted to life in Texas. He’s doing pretty well in school, and you’re so proud of him, though you don’t say anything. Dave is in his sophomore year of college, and he loves it. Well, he doesn’t say anything, but he “ironically” buys an awful lot of merchandise from his school. 

Hell, he’s got a boyfriend. Okay, not an official boyfriend, but how dumb does he think you are? There’s a boy in his English class named Karkat. For the first week or so of college, Dave wouldn’t shut up about this boy. Even in his “totally ironic” way of doing things, you could tell that he couldn’t stop thinking about Karkat. And then they became friends. 

Karkat’s father and brother are some sort of preachers, and they’re always out of town for weeks at a time going on these strange tours. You can always tell when they’re out of town because Dave will pack his bags and stay with Karkat until they get back. 

And then there was that one time you went on a business trip with Nepeta. She said it would be a week long, but then Equius got into a serious car accident and she cut the trip four days short. You left with her, getting tickets for the next flight back to the airport nearest your house. You didn’t get back until around two in the morning. Dave was probably sleeping, you had reasoned, so you didn’t call in advance to tell him you were coming home. 

Ah, repressed memories. 

How do the two of them expect you to think they aren’t a couple? Honestly, they’re so stupid. As if the looks they give each other when they’re in the same room aren’t a big enough indicator of their relationship. But you suppose you must’ve been that way with Jake.

You shake your head. You’re not going to move all the way back to Skaia. The only reason you’re even considering this is because you’re so sleep deprived and worked up over Roxy. You’ll be here for a week at most. And then you’ll go back to Texas. 

-.-.-

You pass a sign titled “Welcome to Skaia!” in big blue letters. The paint is chipped around the edges. You wonder if the town executives will ever replace it, or at least repair it. The sign is sad-looking, just like your memories of the town. 

Even though you haven’t been to this sorry excuse for a town in a year and half, you still remember your way around. None of the red brick apartment buildings have changed, aside from looking a little worse for wear. You pass your old apartment. Shortly after that is Jane’s, followed by the one her family owned. You skip the street with Jake’s place on it. 

You’re relying on year-old information here, and you hope Roxy still lives in her old apartment. She probably does, or she would’ve at least mentioned moving during one of your conversations with her. 

The door to her apartment is a dark brown, just like you remember it to be. You try opening it, but the door’s locked. You knock once. Twice. Three times. Roxy doesn’t answer. You wonder if she’s mad at you or if she’s just moping in her room. You hope it’s the latter. 

Flipping through your key ring, you produce the key to her apartment. Roxy painted it pink herself before giving it to you. “That way, you’ll always know it’s my key!” You’re glad you’ve kept it.   
You unlock her door. “Roxy?” you call. From what you can see, she isn’t in her living room. You check the kitchen, but the only thing there is a cold bowl of soup. She must be in her room. 

Roxy’s room has never been something anyone could call orderly. It seems like she’s kept that trait. Her floor is littered with clothes, but you doubt that’s just from her recent breakdown. Her television is on and the news is playing. You doubt she’s actually watching it. Roxy probably just wants some background noise. 

You almost don’t want to look at Roxy’s bed. You know she’s curled up underneath her covers, but you don’t want to see. Because this is probably what she’s looked like countless times, when you weren’t there to take care of her. Still, you’re here to help her. 

Roxy is curled up underneath her blanket, you were right. She’s surrounded completely by pillows and is clutching her phone for dear life. A charger is plugged into her phone, and her eyes are skimming across the screen over and over. She must be reading those strange wizard stories. 

Tears are streaming their way across her cheeks crookedly because she’s lying down. There are dark purple circles under her eyes. She’s probably slept as for as many hours in these past twenty-seven as you have, which is to say none at all. 

She looks up to look at you. Her eyes are glistening with unshed tears, but the right side of her mouth tweaks up in a small, near-invisible smile. 

“Hey, Roxy. Long time no see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does anyone know how to it put text in italics on here? I type everything in Microsoft Word 2013 and then copy and paste it into here but the italics don't show up?   
> Sorry if I'm being ignorant, I just joined the site recently. Thank you!


	5. Dirk ==> Attempt To Comfort Your Cousin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surplus chapter this week! I was relaxing after a weekend of parties and shopping and then this happened. It might not have the best editing because I'm very tired and I have to go to bed early tonight, I have to go to a parade tomorrow morning. Happy Memorial Day!

Chapter Five  
Dirk == > attempt to comfort your cousin

You walk over to Roxy’s bed. “Can I sit down?” 

She nods. 

You sit down next to her, and Roxy says nothing. She turns her phone off and places it down. You can feel her eyes on you. You shake your head. “Y’know, Roxy, I can’t comfort somebody who won’t talk to me.” 

She sits up, pushing the covers off her. Roxy leans her head on your shoulder, and you pat her hair awkwardly. “I must be so pathetic right now, aren’t I?” she asks. 

You shake your head, maneuvering her so she’s sitting on your lap, her feet dangling over the edge of the bed. Roxy buries her face further into your shirt. “You aren’t pathetic, you’re just terrified. There’s a difference.”

Roxy groans into your shoulder. “I think I’d rather be pathetic. This sucks.”

“I’m gonna dive right into the heart of your problem here.” you say, “What’s wrong with Calliope?”

Your cousin considers her words for a moment. “Nothing’s wrong with her. It’s the opposite of that, actually. I – I think I like her.” 

You look down at Roxy, who seems to have curled up on your lap like a cat. She leans on your chest. “Roxy, that’s amazing! Why are you so upset, though?” 

“I can’t move on from Jane.” She tells you.

“Sure you can,” you say. “Just think of Calliope as Calliope, don’t think of her as Jane. I’m sure they’re two very different people.”

Roxy looks up at you, one of her eyebrows raised slightly. Your shirt feels slightly damp from her tears. “Have you moved on from Jake yet?” she asks.

“No.” 

“See? Easier said than done.” Roxy declares, making her point. You’ve gotta pull this back to your side.

“Dave’s moved on from John, though.”

“What?” 

Oh right, you haven’t mentioned that to her yet. Dave’s going to kill you. “I said, Dave’s got a boyfriend.” 

“Really? I was starting to think he’d be strung up on John forever.” 

You nod. “He’s dating this guy from his college. Karkat’s his name. But I wouldn’t say Dave has moved on from John. I think the fact that he didn’t make a move when he had the chance still gets to him.” 

“Are they in love?” Roxy asks. Her voice sounds far away. A part of you wishes you didn’t bring it up. You had only wished to show her that she could move on, not make her remember things she doesn’t want to remember. 

“I think so. Dave hasn’t said anything to me, though. Hell, he hasn’t even come out yet. He knows that I know, I think. Kid’s about as straight as a slinky.” 

That gets a little smile from Roxy. “How’d ya know they’re dating, then?” 

“Anyone in the same room as the two of them knows they’re in love. They look at each other like they’re the only two people on the planet, and they argue like nobody’s business. It’s kinda cute, actually. Oh, and then there was that one time I walked in on them in the middle of the night.” You smile. 

“Do ya think we were like that…?” She doesn’t finish her question, but she doesn’t need to. You know what she meant. 

You laugh. “Probably. We were so dumb back then, weren’t we?” 

Roxy hums a reply. “We sound so old.” 

“Enough about Dave, though. What about you? Roxy, you called me yesterday in hysterics.” You say when she tries to protest, “You’re crying on my lap. Don’t even try to tell me nothing’s wrong.”

She clutches the back of your shirt. “I’m just… surprised I like Calliope, I guess. I didn’t want to. It just kind of happened.” 

“How’d it happen?” 

Roxy sighs. “She showed up at Jade’s Frozen Yogurt, and she was hella cute. So I got to know her. I was just thinking about her and my chest did that stupid, stupid thing it used to do when I thought about Jane, back when she was – when she was, you know. I’m so scared, Dirk.” 

“Why are you scared?” you inquire, “You’ve told me quite a bit about Calliope, and she seems so nice.”

“I don’t wanna fall in love, Dirky. Jane was nice. I fell in love with her, and look what happened. She’s gone now. What if Calliope dies, too?” 

“Roxy, not all of your girlfriends are going to die.”

“Maybe they won’t. But they can leave. I loved Jake like a brother. You loved Jake like a… like a… boyfriend. And he just left. Don’t even try to argue on his behalf, Dirk. He wanted to marry you, for heaven’s sake. Dirk, I looked at engagement rings with you. You were so, so damn happy with him. And he left. Even John! I loved him in a platonic way too! And he left as well.” Roxy says, looking away from you. 

“If you don’t at least give Calliope a chance, you’re going to hate yourself forever.” You tell her. 

“What if I do give Callie a chance and she dies? Then I’ll be a heartbroken baby forever. Worse than I already am.” 

You think for a moment. “Roxy, does Calliope even know you love her? Does she love you in, you know, that way?” 

Roxy winces at your use of the word ‘love.’ Her eyes widen and she smacks herself in the forehead. “Oh, hell!” she exclaims, “She has literally no idea. But I didn’t go to the yogurt shop today! I was too busy mopin’ around and feelin’ sorry for myself that I didn’t even consider her! And I didn’t text Jade, either. Dammit, dammit, dammit.” 

Your cousin lets out a string of curse words while you chuckle. You don’t think she paid attention to your last question, so you ask it again. “Does Calliope love you?” 

“Well, she certainly hasn’t said anything or made any hints. Don’t tell me I’m being blind, Dirk, you remember how much of a flirt I used to be. I can pick out any hints, no matter how subtle. Besides, with my luck, the girl’s probably straighter than a ruler.” Roxy sighs. 

“You know, Roxy, you said the exact same thing about Jane.” 

“I don’t care.”

“Why don’t you just tell her how you feel, make things easy on yourself? I mean, what’ve you got to lose? Just tell Calliope that you like her! I mean, you’re nice, you’re pretty. Calliope would be dumb not to date you. And if she doesn’t like you, then just tell her you’d still like to be friends.”

Roxy shakes her head. “I don’t wanna talk about Jane. Or Calliope. God, I just want them to both stop existing so I can have some damn peace of mind.” 

“Okay. How about a subject change?” You declare. 

“That sounds nice. No more heavy subjects.” 

“I could really go for some food right about now. I think the last time I ate was this morning.” You say, looping one of your hands under Roxy’s knees so you can lift her up. “Hey, when was the last time you ate something?” 

She looks at you, thinking. “Um… I think… yesterday. I had frozen yogurt with Calliope at Jade’s.” 

You lift her up and carry her into the kitchen, depositing her on a kitchen chair. “Over twenty-four hours, then. And I thought I was bad when I get wrapped up at work.” 

You place the day-old soup in the sink and open some of Roxy’s cabinets. “You’ve got instant rice. And bananas. You really need to go food shopping.” 

Roxy rolls her eyes dramatically. “Just make us some darn food.” 

Just as the water for the rice comes to a boil, there’s a knock at the door. 

“Are you expecting anyone?” You ask Roxy. She shakes her head.

“Does Calliope know where you live?” Roxy shakes her head again. 

“Can you get it? I mean, I would, but I’m not exactly in the best condition to look happy an’ all that jazz. Check the peephole first.” Roxy instructs you.

Excitement flutters through your chest, causing you to scowl to yourself. Every single time you got a knock at your door, there used to be a small – okay, decently sized – part of you that would hope it was Jake waiting for you at the other side. The feeling didn’t go away for nearly a year. 

There’s still that childish part of you that hopes Jake is at the other side of the door. Maybe he tried my old apartment, but I wasn’t there. So he went to Roxy’s. The reasonable part of you scolds the hopeful part. But why? He made his intentions clear. He wants nothing to do with us. Just forget about him, okay? 

You compose your thoughts for long enough to open the door and are shocked by the person that stands at the other side.


	6. Dirk ==> Be Shocked

Chapter Six  
Dirk == > be shocked 

Your name is still Dirk, and you don’t need to be told to be shocked. You are so totally shocked. Like, so shocked it isn’t even ironic anymore. Okay, maybe a little. After all, you are always ironic. 

It’s not Jake.

It’s who you would call the next best thing. 

Jade. 

“Dirk.” She says, pursing her lips. 

“Jade.” Your voice is colder than you intended it to be, but you don’t care. Your eyebrows furrow and you walk into the kitchen, emotionless mask feature turned on. 

Roxy looks at you quizzically. “Dirk? Who is it? What’s wrong?” She stands up.

You stride over to the other end of the kitchen and lean on the refrigerator, crossing your arms. This is one of the times you’re very glad you wear ironic shades. Your eyes are shielded, and as a cause of that, so is most of your expression. Your eyes are beginning to pool up with tears, and you blink hard a few times. You can’t cry just yet. You make your lips into a thin line. Jade enters the kitchen and stands in the doorway. She looks about as pissed as you are. 

“What is she doing here?” you demand, gesturing to Jade.

“I could ask the same question.” Jade says emotionlessly, nodding her head toward you. 

Roxy puffs out her cheeks and breathes out slowly. “Tension? What’s that? There’s no tension in this room whatsoever. Nope.” 

“Dearest Roxy, would you mind explaining?” Jade asks, more than a hint of sarcasm to her voice. 

“Why’d you drop by, Jade?” Roxy asks. Her tone is a forced kind of friendly, hiding any sadness. Jade most likely sees right through her. 

Jade exhales. “I just finished closing up shop. We’re open late on Fridays. You’ve been coming here every day, and today you didn’t show up, and I didn’t know what to think. Calliope was nervous as well, and she inquired about you, but I just said you probably had some errands to run. I thought you were, well, having a bad day, and I wanted to check up on you.” 

Both you and Roxy visibly cringe when she mentions Calliope. 

Jade turns to you. “Your turn, anime boy. Explain yourself.”

You flinch away at the nickname. It used to be a teasing term of endearment, but now it stings. Even the way Jade said it, with uncharacteristic venom dripping from her tone, is enough to make you hate the name. 

Roxy steps in for you before you’ve gathered your thoughts enough to form a sentence. She explains the whole ordeal, starting with when she called you yesterday evening. She leaves out the whole part about her liking Calliope. Roxy makes you sound much better than you feel, portraying your car ride as a brave, selfless act and saying that you proceeded to have the biggest feelings jam of all time with her once you arrived. Jade doesn’t seem to buy into everything she says, but at least Roxy paints you in a positive light. 

“Jade, I promise I will be at your shop tomorrow, the normal time.” Roxy says, and Jade nods.

“Well, I’ll be taking my leave, then. Goodbye, Roxy. Dirk.” Jade absconds from Roxy’s apartment quickly, shutting the door firmly behind her. 

“That was pleasant.” You conclude, sarcasm dangling from your words like icicles. 

Roxy looks at you apologetically. “Are you okay?” 

You nod. “I’ll live. Besides, I came here knowing full well what I’d have to deal with.” 

Roxy looks past you for a moment, and her eyes widen. She lets out a string of curses. “The rice!” 

You curse yourself, and turn down the heat to salvage what’s left of the boiling water. There’s a decent amount left, so you decide to just screw everything and dump the rice in there anyway. You set the timer and turn back to a very apologetic Roxy. 

“I’m sorry you had to deal with Jade so soon. And I’m sorry she was so cold like that. She’s normally so happy and upbeat.” 

“No, it’s fine, Roxy. I deserved that. After all, I just left you all alone out here, and she had to take care of everything.” You admit. 

Roxy shakes her head and sighs. “Look, Dirk. What happened a year and a half ago was beyond horrible. And not just Jane. Jake and John left you and Dave as well. You had your best interest in mind when you left, okay? Yes, it was hella selfish, but you needed to be selfish! You and Dave couldn’t handle staying here, there were just too many memories. I chose to stay because I wanted to. I could’ve went to Texas with you if I wanted that. Because I thrive from the memories, even while you hide from them.” 

Damn. There goes philosophical Roxy again. You could tell her how much you appreciate her words, but a Strider doesn’t do emotions. Besides, you’ve had enough as far as feelings go. You’re sure that the emotions from the past two days will last you for another year or so.

“You’ve been talking to Rose too much.” You say. 

Roxy claps her hands together happily. “Have you heard from her lately?” 

You shake your head. “I haven’t spoken to her in, like, a month. Dave talks to her all day, though.” Roxy grins, causing you to raise your eyebrows. “Why? Is there something I need to know about?” 

“Oh, no, Dirky. I’m sure you’ll be hearing the news soon enough!” 

You make a mental note to ask Dave if he could try to get some information out of Rose. Unless he already knows. This wouldn’t be the first time he’s kept something from you. Of course, you could make him divulge the information by battling him on the roof of your apartment as soon as you get home. 

The timer for the rice beeps, and you serve a quite pathetic dinner of slightly overcooked rice and bruised, barely redeemable bananas. Roxy devours the meal hungrily, but even though you could eat a horse if you wanted to – not that you do; after all, friendship is magic – you just push your rice around the plate. 

“Dirkington Stridork!” Roxy chides, her tone only half joking when she makes up a name for you, “You’re going to eat this damn rice, or you will make Mama Roxy very, very angry.” 

You glare at her. “That’s not even my name.” You do, however, start grudgingly eating the rice. It tastes absolutely terrible, but you never said you could cook. 

“Whatever. Just eat the food so we can sleep.”

Sleep. That sounds good about now. You haven’t slept in over twenty-four hours, and you suspect that Roxy hasn’t either. It’s a good enough incentive to make you finish your dinner. Roxy watches until the plate is scarped clean of every single grain of food, and then you follow her into the living room. 

“I haven’t got a spare room, so you’re gonna have to sleep on the couch or rent a hotel room, and I doubt you want to do the latter.” She chucks a blanket in your face. 

Your exquisitely fast Strider reflexes allow you to catch the blanket in your hand before it can reach its destination. Roxy mutters a curse. 

“Goodnight, Roxy!” you yell as she turns into her room. 

“Yeah, you too, Di-Stri.”


	7. Calliope ==> Put Up With Your Brother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Calliope knows something is wrong when Roxy doesn't show up at Jade's.

Chapter Seven   
Calliope == > put up with your brother

Your name is Calliope, and you’re more nervous than you’d like to admit when Roxy doesn’t show up at Jade’s Frozen Yogurt. 

You check your watch for the umpteenth time. 12:45. Roxy is normally here when you arrive, at 12:30. Sometimes she comes even earlier and just waits for you while she reads a book or something. She used to write college essays in her usual spot. 

As soon as Jade finishes dealing with the lunch rush, you get her attention. “Jade,” you say, standing up by the counter, “have you seen Roxy at all today? She hasn’t been here yet.” 

Jade’s face visibly pales. You notice the slight fault in her happy demeanor, but Jade recovers before you can ask her anything about it. “Nope. She might have errands to run today, though.” 

You’re smart enough to know that something must be wrong, but you decide to let it go. Jade doesn’t seem like she wants to talk about it. “Thank you!” you say cheerily. “Please tell her I was here if she drops by later.” 

Jade nods and waves as you exit the shop. “Will do! Have a nice day, Calliope!” 

“You too!” 

You hope Roxy shows up tomorrow. 

-.-.-

Sure enough, Roxy does go to the shop the next day. She’s in her usual chair when you enter, wearing a sorry smile. 

“Hey, Calliope! Sorry I wasn’t here yesterday, I had to run some errands. Remember that cousin I told you about, Dirk? He showed up at my apartment!” Roxy enthuses. 

There’s still something a little overenthusiastic about what Roxy says, but you decide to let that go as well. You wonder if it’s connected to whatever Jade was hiding yesterday. “That’s sensational, Roxy! Was there any specific reason for his visit?” 

Roxy shrugs. “Nope, he just wanted to drop by an’ check in on things, I guess. I’m going to try to drag him here one of the days during his visit, though. That way he can taste the best frozen yogurt ever, and you’ll get to meet him!” 

You smile. “Oh, that’ll be exquisite! I’ll make sure to bring Caliborn as well.” 

Roxy digs for something in her pocket. “Here, let me give you my phone number so I can tell you when Dirk will be coming with me! And also, if anything like yesterday happens again, we can just tell each other so there’s no mix-up.” 

Nodding eagerly, you hand her your phone and she hands you hers. 

And that’s how you got Roxy’s number. 

-.-.-

“Who are you even texting?” Caliborn demands once you get home. He must not be used to you being on your phone as much as you are today.

You turn away from him and readjust yourself so he can’t see your phone screen. You’re perched on the window seat in your living room, and Caliborn is on the couch to the left. “Roxy.” You say nonchalantly. 

“You mean, the girl you tried to impress that day I got into a fight?” 

“I wasn’t trying to impress her. Be quiet.” 

“Calliope, you made this huge deal of making a good first impression on this girl, so big that you screamed at me over it. Every single day we’ve been here, you showed up at that stupid yogurt shop to meet with her! And now that you’ve got her phone number, you haven’t gotten off your phone all day! Are you trying to tell me that there’s nothing going on between you and her?” You try to ignore Caliborn’s words. He’s just doing his usual blabbering, it’s nothing extraordinary. 

Needless to say, trying to ignore doesn’t get you very far. “Nothing is going on between me and Roxy! We’re just friends! Besides, even if I was interested, which I’m not, she’s probably straight anyway.” 

Caliborn sighs. “You are so unbelievably blind, Calliope, it’s amazing.” 

“What? She just said that we could use each other’s numbers in case one of us didn’t show up at the shop one day! And she’s fun to talk to! She said my “U” faces are cute.” Why are you blushing? Just because of what Caliborn is saying, that’s the only reason. Not because Roxy called your typing cute.

Caliborn raises his eyebrows. “You’re blushing, Calliope! Blushing, blushing, blushing!”

You turn away. “I am not.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that it's a few hours later than my normal posting time! I'm in the middle of cramming for exams, ew.


	8. Dirk == > Let Your Cousin Drag You to Jade's Frozen Yogurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roxy drags Dirk into Jade's Frozen Yogurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! Last week and this week were finals week ugh. But now finals are all done and I only have one week of school left until summer break!

Chapter Eight  
Dirk == > let your cousin drag you to Jade’s Frozen Yogurt

Your name is Dirk, and ever since your unpleasant stare down with Jade, Roxy has been on your case about going to her shop. Personally, you hate the idea, but you know that it’s only a matter of time before you give in to your cousin’s demands. And, you have to admit it, you almost feel bad about what happened with her. Almost. 

Roxy makes you promise to go with her tomorrow. She’s spent the whole day texting Calliope, so you suppose things with them must be back to normal. You give in. After all, you’re here for her wellbeing, so you might as well do as she wants. You’ll be back in Texas soon anyway. 

At around three that morning, you’re woken up by a text from Dave. What an asshole. 

Dave: Bro.   
Dirk: What do you want? What are you even doing awake at 3am anyway?   
Dave: Time zones. It’s actually 2.  
Dirk: Cut to the chase I’m sleeping.

Dave sends you a picture of two envelopes, side by side. One is addressed to “Mr. Dave Strider” in neat, precise handwriting. The other is addressed to “Mr. Dirk Strider” in the same handwriting. You don’t even need to look at the return address to know who it’s from. The only person that would address something to you so formally like that is Rose, Roxy’s sister. You think she does that out of sarcasm, but you aren’t certain.

Dirk: We got mail. What’s the big deal?

Dave sends you another picture. This one shows the inside of your letter. The background is a pale pink color, and “Dear Mr. Dirk Strider, plus 1” is written above the typed message. The message “cordially invites you to celebrate the matrimony of Rose Lalonde and Kanaya Maryam on the 14th of June.” It gives all the annoying details that you probably won’t pay attention to until the actual day of the wedding. The only thing that catches your eye is the fact that it’s in London. And, you know, that Rose is getting married.

Dirk: Holy crap  
Dave: Exactly.  
Dirk: I’m going to question Roxy about this I’ll talk to you later

“Roxy!” You flip on the light in her room. She’s sleeping in one corner of her unmade bed. 

Her eyes fly open. “What happened?” Damn, now she’s nervous. 

You hand her your phone, open to the picture of the wedding invitation. “Please explain this.” 

“Dirk, it’s three in the morning.” Your cousin props herself up on her elbows.

“Explain.”

Roxy rubs her eyes. “It’s rather self-explanatory, isn’t it? Rose is getting married, we’re flying out to London to see it happen. Can I sleep now?” 

“But Rose is, like, twelve.” You argue.

“Correction, idiot. She’s twenty. Dave’s age.” Roxy snaps. “Now leave me alone, I’m already sleeping.” 

 

You raise an eyebrow. “You’re currently talking to me, you’re not sleeping.”

Roxy plops back into her bed and mimes sleeping. When you turn away, she throws a pillow at the back of your head and cackles. “Goodnight, Roxy.” You say, a hint of amusement in your voice. 

“G’night, Dirk!” 

You have a hard time falling asleep again after that. You’ve already decided that you’re going to the wedding. Equius might have to kill you, but there’s no way you’re going to skip it. Besides, you and Dave hadn’t been on vacation since your parents died. You barely made enough money to cover the bills, but the cash your parents left behind helped. Money be damned, you’re getting two plane tickets to London. 

You’re already overthinking things, so it’s no surprise that you continue to do so. Why did Kanaya and Rose wait so long to tell everyone about the wedding? You may be completely oblivious to a lot of things like party planning, but you did research. It takes months to plan a wedding. After a while, you decide to stop questioning it. Rose has a lot of strange motives when she makes decisions, and though you’ve only seen Kanaya once during a Skype call, she seems to be the same kind of quiet, reserved person Rose is. 

You wonder if Roxy feels jealous of Rose. Perhaps she thought it would be her getting married first. With the way things with Jane had been going, you kind of expected the same thing. Maybe even you and Jake would’ve gotten married first. Never Rose. The thought hadn’t even crossed your mind. 

Hell, you didn’t even know she was dating anyone until Kanaya kissed her goodnight during the Skype call. Apparently, they like to read before bed. Who reads anymore? Damn intellectuals. 

Sometime between the first beams of light entering Roxy’s apartment and the birds singing their morning songs, you fall back asleep. 

Roxy shakes you awake. “Dirkyy! Get up, you lazy sack of potatoes!” 

You glare at her. “No. Wake me up tomorrow.”

“Ah, ah, ah, cousin dearest! A certain somebody promised me they’d come to Jade’s Frozen Yogurt today!” 

“Can’t we do that tomorrow?” You whine, trying to toss your pillow in her face. Roxy dodges your blow easily. 

“You promised!” She sing-songs. 

You groan. “What time is it?” 

“Eleven. We’ve gotta be there by, like, 12:15.”

“Why’d you wake me up so early?”

Roxy makes a tsk noise. “Because it takes you an hour to get ready, idiot.”

“Fair enough.” You sit up. 

-.-.-

As promised, exactly one hour later, Roxy is pulling you down the sidewalk towards Jade’s shop. The wind gets in the way of everything and messes with both of your hairstyles, but Roxy doesn’t care. You halfheartedly attempt to fix yours, but you know it’s an effort in futility. 

“Damn, this brings back memories.” You whisper, doubting Roxy can hear you. She does, however, and nods.

“This used to be so much fun. Now it just feels like… running down a sidewalk while the wind blows in your face.” Roxy comments.

You let out a low chuckle. “How did we get like this? We’re only twenty-two, and we act like our teenage years were the only years of our lives that will ever be happy.”

Roxy looks out into the distance as you run alongside her, her eyes clouding over, lost in thought. “We used to rule the world.” She said, “Then everything came crashing down and we forgot that we weren’t invincible.” 

You consider her words, attempting to formulate a response. The two of you arrive at Jade’s shop before you can say anything.

“Roxy!” Jade greets cheerily. “Dirk!” she must be hiding any animosity towards you because you’re in public. 

“Hey, Jade!” Roxy says.

“Sup.” You wave your hand in a greeting. So smooth, so ironic. 

Jade giggles. “This must be where Dave gets it from.” She gestures to you. 

“Yes. The two totes ironic Strider bros.” Roxy says, walking over to the yogurt machines. You follow her. 

Roxy chooses a really bland vanilla yogurt with no toppings. You stick your tongue out at her. “Like you could do better?” she taunts.

“Is that a challenge?”

“Fight me.” Roxy says sarcastically.

You decide on a strawberry yogurt because the light pink color of the yogurt is super kawaii. Roxy rolls her eyes and says something to Jade about your “dumb anime”. You resent that because anime is in no way dumb. It is, however, totally ironic. 

Your strawberry yogurt is then covered in toppings. However, the toppings all have to match the theme of your yogurt. Chunks of actual strawberries, dark chocolate chips, chocolate graham crackers, chocolate sprinkles, and a light dusting of shredded coconut are all carefully arranged on your yogurt. It looks beautiful. Like it should be displayed in a museum. It’s better than the Mona Lisa. Eat your heart out, Leonardo Da Vinci. 

“Okay, Jade. Tell me whose yogurt is more creative. My work of art or Roxy’s bland-ass vanilla crap.” 

Laughing, Jade points at yours. “Sorry, Roxy.” She says, “But that is pretty impressive.” 

You pull out your phone and take a picture of your yogurt. “What are you doing that for?” Roxy asks as she pays for her yogurt and sits down at what you suppose must be her usual spot.

“Aesthetic.” Your yogurt ends up being over a dollar more than Roxy’s, but you don’t care. As long as you beat her at the competition. 

Just as you’re about to sit down on the chair beside Roxy, Jade grabs your sleeve. “Dirk.” She whispers, almost hesitantly. 

“What is it?” you keep your face blank, but you’re confused and slightly scared. You don’t think you’ve ever heard Jade that serious before. 

Jade pulls you behind the counter for a moment digging in her pocket for a second. She looks at you. “I – I’m sorry for what happened two days ago.”

“I’m sorry, too.” You say, wondering how to politely prod her to just show you whatever is in her pocket.

Jade pulls an off-white envelope folded into thirds out of her pocket and hands it to you. You cautiously curl your fingers around it, and it’s heavy. There must be a lot of whatever’s in there. Your eyes, shielded by your shades, meet Jade’s piercing green ones. They look apologetic, solemn. 

“That’s Jake’s latest letter to me. He wrote it a week ago. I know I probably shouldn’t be giving you this, because you probably don’t want to relive everything that happened with my asshat of a cousin, but I figured I might at least try to help you.” Jade says, smiling sadly. 

You stare down at the letter in your hands. They’re shaking slightly. “Thank you, Jade.” You say, fighting to keep your voice level. You’re thankful for all the practice you’ve had with this. “Seriously, holy crap. Thanks.” 

Jade laughs. “No problem, anime kid.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can explain the Dirk yogurt thing okay i wrote it at like 5am while i was taking a break from cramming for finals


	9. Dirk ==> Meet Caliborn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk meets Caliborn and Calliope, and the party partakes in some classic pizza eating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School ended today!!! I'm very happy, and also I'll have more time to write, so chapters might be coming more frequently!

Chapter Nine  
Dirk == > meet Caliborn 

Jade turns back to the cash register. You shove the letter into your pocket, taking care to make sure it isn’t damaged. Roxy raises her eyebrow at you in a silent form of questioning. You just shake your head. It’s nothing. 

When you sit down on the stool next to Roxy, she questions you again. “What did Jade have to say?”

Think fast. “She apologized for two days ago, and then I apologized back. Like a good, civil human being.”

Roxy isn’t budging. “And what else?”

There is absolutely no way on earth that you’re telling her about Jake’s letter. The whole thing will be a fiasco. Luckily, you get your ass saved by two people walking through the door of Jade’s little shop. Roxy jumps to her feet. That must be Calliope.

“Calliope!” Roxy says, grinning at a girl in a sundress. You called it.

Calliope is rather short, though she’s taller than the man standing next to her. Her white wavy hair flows down to about a few inches above her elbow. She wears a pale green sundress, white stockings, and white ballet flats. Calliope takes the seat on the other side of Roxy. Her legs balance on the bar across the legs of the chair, and she reminds you of an elegant bird. 

The man next to Calliope is shorter than her, but only by a very small amount. You can see his muscles beneath his black tank top, and even his arms look buff. His eyebrows are furrowed in a frown. You can’t remember his name, but you know Roxy told you about him. He must be Calliope’s perpetually angry twin brother. He sits down rather unceremoniously next to Calliope, reminding you of something that is not elegant in the slightest. 

“Calliope, Caliborn, this is Dirk. Dirk, Calliope and Caliborn.” Roxy gestures to each of you as she says your names. Caliborn, there you go. That’s his name.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Dirk. I’ve heard a good deal about you!” Calliope even has a British accent, though it’s more refined and polished than Jake’s. You almost unnoticeably shake your head. Why do you have to make everything about Jake? You’re here for Roxy. 

“You, too, Calliope.” you say. Calliope offers you her hand, and you shake it.

You turn to Caliborn. “Good afternoon, Caliborn.”

Caliborn sighs. “I would say it’s a pleasure to meet you. But it’s not.” Alright, so he’s the asshole type. 

Calliope glares at him and smacks his arm. “Be nice.” 

“How about we just go get some yogurt?” Roxy suggests, looking at Calliope. If you couldn’t already tell Roxy was in love with Calliope from the way she spoke about her and her little freak out, you’d be able to tell just by the way she looks at Calliope. 

Calliope agrees and drags Caliborn over to the yogurt machines. Roxy looks at you. “So, what do you think of them?” 

“I think Caliborn’s an idiot.” You declare.

“And Calliope?”

“She’s really sweet.” You say. “And you love her.”

Roxy looks at you, her mouth slightly open. “And why do you think that?”

You place your chin on your hand sarcastically. “Let’s see. Shall I list the reasons?”

“Please do. I’m intrigued.” Your cousin glares at you. 

“Well, there’s the part when you never shut up about her when I used to call you before I visited. Calliope this, Calliope that. The only reason I never said anything about it to you is because I didn’t know how you’d take it after Jane. The answer, of course, is not very well at all. 

“Like that time you called me in hysterics because you realized you had feelings for this girl. Not that you loved her, just that you ‘had feelings’ for her. Seriously, Roxy, I got so worried that I drove all the way from Texas to Skaia, only stopping once. Let me remind you of the fact that this is the first time I drove up to see you in two entire years. And a fair deal of shit has happened in those two years. 

“And now, on to the third and final reason. The way you look at her! Damn, Roxy. It’s like she’s the first person you’ve ever seen. The only people worse than you in that department are Dave and Karkat, and they’re actually dating, for God’s sake!” You watch your cousin as she processes the information. 

Roxy pushes you off of your stool, but there’s a small smile playing on your lips. You’re about to shove her back, but then Calliope returns. Roxy straightens up and looks at Calliope with those eyes again, and you can’t freaking take it anymore.

But in a way, it’s a good thing that she’s acting this way, you suppose.

Roxy hasn’t looked at anyone like this since Jane.

== > Be Roxy

You are now Roxy.

Roxy == > fawn over Calliope

You’re not fawning over her! You don’t fawn over anyone! Besides, only Dirk would call it that. Which means you are totes not fawning over Calliope. She’s just too cute for her own good. Oh crap, she’s saying something. 

What is she saying? Oh, she’s just talking about food. Yogurt and pizza, in particular. She tells you that she’s really in the mood for some pizza. Okay, rad. You agree, even though you could really care less about pizza right now. 

“How about we get some pizza after this? Maybe Dirk and Caliborn can come with us! We can all get to know each other more, won’t that be fun?” Calliope suggests. 

You’re barely even aware of what you’re saying, your thoughts freely floating around in your head. Something about how you could totally go for pizza as well. Something else about how you know of a pizza place here that’s really good. 

And that’s how you accidentally propose the idea of going to the pizza place where you, Jane, Dirk, and Jake used to double date. You haven’t been to Tavros’s place in, like, five-ever. Which is more than forever. Which means a long time. A long time being like over year and a half. About two years. Dirk is going to kill you. If you don’t kill yourself first. 

“Oh, Roxy, what a wonderful idea! Caliborn and I haven’t been to any restaurants yet, not counting this place. How amazing! You’ll be able to show us the great places to go!” Calliope enthuses, and you know there is absolutely no way to get yourself out of this one. Shit.

Dirk is sitting by himself next to you, looking out the window in front of you. You nudge his shoulders, muttering some excuse in Calliope’s direction to ask him a question. She just nods and turns to Caliborn.

“What’s the matter, Roxy?” Dirk asks.

You stutter out some sort of response. “I was talkin’ ta Callie and she wanted pizza and I kinda just talked to her without thinkin’ about my response and then I kinda invited herandCaliborntoTav’swithus.” 

“Please speak English. I don’t understand your strange ‘I-messed-up-and-I-don’t-want-to-tell-you-what-I-did’ language.” Dirk smirks, and you know he was being at least half sarcastic.

You hang your head in defeat. “I invited Callie and Caliborn to lunch with us at Tav’s by accident and I didn’t know what I was doing and I screwed up and Dirk holy heck I haven’t been there since our last double date what are we going to do?” Your voice is hushed so Calliope doesn’t hear, but it’s still frantic.

Dirk tenses for a second, enough for you to notice. “We’re going to go to Tav’s and eat some damn pizza and suck everything up. Acting like normal people for at most two hours can’t be that bad.”

Your shoulders shake with silent laughter. “I can’t believe I did this.” 

Dirk pats your shoulder. “You really are my favorite cousin.” 

Calliope throws out her empty yogurt cup and returns to her seat. “You guys ready to get some pizza?” 

There’s a chorus of nods from your party, and you get up and leave together. Dirk waves a goodbye to Jade, who smiles. You swear you can see a glint of mischief in her eyes. This adds to your suspicions. You have to remember to grill both of them about this later.

Tav’s restaurant is about five minutes away from Jade’s Frozen Yogurt. Even though you haven’t been there in over two years, you still know the way by heart. Dirk knows it too. You can tell by the way he’s so sure-footed.

“We’re almost there.” Dirk states. You aren’t quite sure if he’s informing Calliope and her brother or if he’s warning the two of you. Perhaps a bit of both. 

Calliope smiles, breaking away from Caliborn’s side and heading over to you. “How far?”

“We just turned back there, so it’s all the way down the street. It won’t take long, though.” You tell her.

She nods, smiling wider. “I can’t wait! You have a wonderful taste as far as food goes. So far, at least.” 

“I will not disappoint.” You fake salute.

“I’m counting on you.” Calliope giggles. 

It doesn’t take more than another two minutes to reach Tav’s restaurant. You hold the door open for the small party of people travelling with you. Dirk nods to the owner of the small place – Tavros, hence the name – like he always used to do. It’s amazing, how much normalcy this one visit brings. You wonder if things would have been like this if Jane hadn’t died. 

Tavros looks up from the table he’s cleaning as the entrance bell chimes. He smiles and waves, and then his face lights up in recognition. He rolls over to you in his wheelchair, smile only growing wider. “Roxy! Dirk! You two haven’t been here in forever!” 

Dirk smiles apologetically. “Sorry, Tav. Life got in the way.” 

“Oh, yeah! How was Texas?” 

You interject with a not-so-pleasant “What? So you told him about moving to Texas but you never mentioned anything to me until you were halfway around the country?” 

Dirk shoots a smile your way. “Sorry.” He subtly nods his head to Calliope and Caliborn. Do you want to start this in front of them? He seems to be asking. You glare at him but say nothing.

Tavros quietly clears his throat. “Right. So how about I seat you guys right over here?” He doesn’t wait for anyone to say anything before he turns around and leads you over to a table on the other end of the restaurant, directly underneath a window. Tavros hands menus out to Calliope and Caliborn, but hands both you and Dirk kids’ menus. He ignores your various exclamations of protest. 

“So this is the pizza place?” Calliope asks, “It seems mighty formal for just a pizza slice. Not that I mind, though.” 

“It looks hella formal, but I assure you, the pizza here is, like, the best pizza. Top-notch pizza. Also it’s hella cheap and we know the owner.”

Calliope giggles. “Why did he give you such… immature menus?”

Dirk holds up his menu, propping his elbows up on the table. It also so usefully functions as a coloring book, and Tavros was kind enough to give the two of you four brown crayons. You’ll have to thank him personally. 

“Because we are literal children.” Dirk picks up a crayon and starts coloring the outlined woodland creatures surrounding the menu. 

You toss your menu to the side. “Because he’s a literal jerk. And he knows we’re all just going to order a slice of pizza.”

Your cousin turns around to face you. He presses his palm to his chest and leans back, pretending to look offended. “Excuse you, I’m getting the chicken nuggets.” 

Caliborn, who had been mostly behaving until now, leans over the table. “Are you always this much of an obnoxious child?” 

“Naw, I just make a point of being one when you’re around.” Dirk’s says, drawing out his Texan accent. You sigh. 

Calliope latches onto her brother’s arm. “Caliborn!” she reprimands him for the second time today, “Stop being so rude!” 

You pinch Dirk’s cheeks with your thumb and forefinger and turn his face to look at you. “So help me, Dirk, if you screw this up, I will murder you.” You glare at him. 

Dirk brings his hands up as if to say he surrenders. “Okay, okay. I’ll behave.” He pouts. 

“Good.” You never should have believed him. 

Tavros comes around to take your order shortly after, and you order chicken nuggets with a side of fries for Dirk and a small pizza to be shared among the rest of you. Tavros nods, not even bothering to jot your orders down in a notebook before he turns and goes back to the kitchen. 

Almost as soon as he leaves, Caliborn begins to groan about being hungry. “When is the food coming?” He whines. You’re beginning to see why Calliope thought he was a handful. 

“Be quiet, Caliborn!” Calliope rests her head on the table.

“Food’ll be here v soon. We’ll get the special treatment. The benefits of knowing a restaurant owner are endless, I tell ya.” You say, leaning back into the booth and waving your hand as if to say it’s no big deal. 

Sure enough, Tavros is back with your food very soon after that. He deposits Dirk’s order in front of him, then proceeds to place the pizza down on a fancy platter in the middle of the table. Tavros backs away with a fake salute. 

“You know, we didn’t have to go to such a fancy restaurant for a pizza. We could’ve just ordered something in a box and eaten it at the pizza place.” Calliope says.

“We could’ve, yeah. But this pizza is literally the best pizza ever.” 

Dirk decides to add, “And normal pizza places don’t have kiddie menus. And chicken nuggets.”

You bury your face in your hands. “You act like you’re five, I swear.” 

“Hell yeah. Five year olds are chill.” Dirk says.

You turn away from him. 

During the time you and Dirk had been bickering, Calliope seems to have selected a slice of pizza and is lifting it to her mouth. She takes a hesitant bite and chews slowly, seemingly contemplating its taste.

“Have you reached a consensus?” you ask once she finishes chewing. 

She mulls over her response before speaking. “It’s not deep dish?” Calliope says the words like a question.

“Hells yeah it isn’t!” you exclaim. “This is New York, honey, and we only tolerate good pizza here.” 

“Deep dish pizza is great pizza. It’s also the only pizza I’ve ever tried.” Calliope admits, taking another small curious bite.

“Wow, okay. So, d’ya like good ol’ New York pizza? Especially this one?”

Calliope nods enthusiastically, her mouth full. After she swallows, Calliope gives you her opinion. “Good pizza. Like, really good pizza. Better than deep dish.” She sighs in pleasure. “One hundred times better than deep dish.”

You smile. “Good. Deep dish sucks.”

-.-.-

It doesn’t take long for the four of you to finish the pizza. Caliborn even eats some, but he never explicitly says he likes it. At least he tolerates it. That’s more than you could hope for from Caliborn. After Dirk finishes his pathetic meal of French fries and bad chicken nuggets, he joins in on the pizza consumption. 

Calliope, Dirk, and yourself end up arguing over who should pay the bill. In the end, you just spilt it three ways. Caliborn watches from the corner, a scowl on his face. You’re beginning to think that a scowl may be his natural expression. 

“Okay, was that not the best pizza you’ve ever had?” you ask Calliope as the two of you exit the restaurant. 

Dirk and Caliborn had gone ahead of you two, saying you were too slow for them and that they’d wait for you outside. That had sounded a bit suspicious to you, but you let them go. Neither of them were really your concern, and it gave you more time to talk to Calliope. 

Calliope laughs softly. “Yes, Roxy, that was the finest thing I’ve ever eaten. Are you happy now?” 

You nod. “Now that you’re educated on what real pizza tastes like, I am satisfied.” 

Tavros waves to the two of you as you exit, a knowing smile playing on his lips. You turn around and mouth ‘shut up!’ at him. 

As you push open the double doors to the restaurant, you feel like you’re walking on air. You took Calliope out to lunch – showing that she likes you more than just a yogurt buddy – and she liked the food, you and Dirk were able to enjoy the greatest food on the face of the Earth again, and neither of you had severe mental breakdowns. Take that, life – Roxy wins this round. 

Calliope gasps once you get onto the sidewalk. “Not again,” she moans, pointing to something on her left. 

You turn to see what she’s talking about.

Okay, maybe life wins this round.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New York pizza is like a thousand times better than Chicago/deep dish pizza, literally fite me   
> ~ a completely non-biased New Yorker


	10. Calliope ==> Deal With Your Brother's Immaturity Once Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caliborn does what he does best - get into fights.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Early chapter! Hahah my update schedule is probably going to spiral out of control now that it's summer but that's okay

Chapter Ten  
Calliope == > deal with your brother’s immaturity once again

Your name is Calliope, and your wonderful, lovely brother has gotten himself into another fight.

With Roxy’s cousin. 

You should have known this was going to happen from the start. Caliborn never gets along with anyone, and he particularly disliked Dirk. Why now, though? You had been having an excellent time with Roxy! That’s just how Caliborn is, you suppose. You heave a dejected sigh. 

“Dirk, get off of him!” Roxy yells at her cousin, an effort in futility. If he even hears her, it’s not like he’ll heed her advice. 

Your shoulders sag and sit down on the nearest park bench, defeated. Not long after, Roxy does the same. There’s a soft thud as her cousin’s fist collides with your brother’s jaw. Both of you wince.

“Not to be rude or anythin’, but does your brother make a habit of getting inta’ fights like this?” Roxy inquires.

You shake your head. “Only with complete blockheads. But I, personally, don’t think Dirk really fits into that category.”

Roxy laughs. “Trust me, he does.” 

A cry of anguish. A rather pathetic scream of agony. You sigh, your gaze being redirected to the fight. Caliborn lands a fist in Dirk’s stomach, making Roxy’s cousin stumble for a second too long. You turn away before things get too violent.

“Who’s gonna win?” Roxy asks you. 

You think for a moment. “Caliborn. He may be more than a bit rash and he has an extraordinary temper, but I believe he makes up for it in muscle. Besides, with the amount of fights like that he’s gotten himself into, he’s practically a seasoned veteran.” You might be biased. You’re probably biased. 

Roxy shakes her head. “Nope, Dirk. He definitely doesn’t have the muscle Caliborn does – really, your brother is hella built – but he makes up for it in agility. Though really, he’s better with swords. He has swordfights with his little bro. I’m not kidding. So believe me, he’s got the quickness to escape.” 

Your gaze roams to the sidewalk in front of you as you consider what Roxy said. “Five dollars on Caliborn.”

“Ten on Dirk,” Roxy responds. 

“Fifteen on Caliborn.” Both of you are smiling. 

“Winner buys pizza.” 

“You’ve got yourself a deal.” 

You and Roxy are distracted from your banter by an awful-sounding crack and a splatter of blood on the sidewalk. You wince once again. This looks like an awfully long fight. Neither of them are going down. Who knows how long it’ll last? 

“D’ya think we should maybe intervene now?” Roxy asks, standing up.

You nod. 

Dirk and Caliborn do seem to be evenly matched. Roxy had been right, Dirk was agile. He easily avoids your brother’s clunky punches. Caliborn quickly seems to release that he can’t wait to send his blows, he can’t calculate where each one is going to land. Dirk would be able to dodge them. Instead he flails his fists around aimlessly. This method looks a bit oafish, sure, but it does the trick. Dirk simply can’t evade all of them. Roxy’s cousin is fast to change strategies, instead delivering an uppercut to Caliborn’s chin. Caliborn grunts.

It becomes evident that you won’t be able to get their attention by simply yelling at them. If you try to grab one of them, you’ll probably get caught in the crosshairs. You sigh. 

Another particularly loud scream – of anguish or pain, you can’t tell – causes the owner of the small restaurant – Tavros, you heard Roxy call him – to exit the shop and see what all this commotion is about. You hadn’t noticed, but an adequate crowd had gathered. Exactly what you needed. You’re so happy.

“Uhh… Roxy? What is… going on?” Tavros asks uncertainly, wringing his hands together. 

Roxy smiles sarcastically and throws her hands in the direction of Dirk and Caliborn. “My amazing cousin and her brother got into a fistfight. It’s kind of obvious, really.” 

“Why?” Tavros places his head in his hands and shakes it. “In front of the restaurant?” 

“Because Dirk’s a moron and it appears like Caliborn fights with anyone that gets slightly on his nerves. Doesn’t help that they hate each other.” Roxy furrows her eyebrows in their direction. 

Tavros heaves a sigh. “They have a history? Really, Roxy, why didn’t you tell me this? Why did you take them out to lunch together in the first place?” 

You step up next to Roxy and, by extent, into the conversation. “Oh, they don’t have a history. They just met.” 

“Then why did…? You know what, don’t answer that. Just please… please try to break it up.” 

The fistfight seems to have escalated. Dirk lifts Caliborn up by the collar, leaving the shorter of the two to scramble for footing. You piece together what’s going to happen mere milliseconds before it does. Dirk slams Caliborn into the park bench that you and Roxy had sat on not five minutes ago. Caliborn latches his fingers onto the hem of Dirk’s shirt and rolls over him onto the sidewalk with a thud. They’re about to roll onto the street. 

Several people have begun a chant of “fight, fight, fight!” Today is really not your day.

Tavros mumbles something along the lines of “why do I even try?” 

“Do you think they’ll ever just stop?” Roxy groans. 

“You know, I think I liked your cousin better when he was dating that Jake kid.” Tavros comments. Roxy smiles sadly, shaking her head at the ground. You raise your eyebrow in question, but nobody acknowledges you. You decide that it must be some form of repressed memory and resolve to ask about it later.

You watch Caliborn forlornly. You wonder how long they’ll keep fighting. You think you should just go home already. It’s nearly three, and you have a few commissions to finish. 

“That’s it.” Roxy stomps her foot. “I’m going in. Callie, cover me.” 

“Roxy, no!” you grab at the back of her shirt, but your effort is fruitless. Roxy’s going in for the kill.

You’re about ready to see Roxy fling herself into the middle of Caliborn and Dirk’s fight, but instead she just grabs the back of Dirk’s shirt and yanks him up. Her cousin flails for a second but regains his footing with one more swift kick to Caliborn’s side. You’re impressed. 

“Roxy! Ow! What are you doing? Roxy! Ow! Ow!” Roxy has moved her grip from Dirk’s shirt to his ear. 

“See ya tomorrow, Callie!” Roxy throws over her shoulder as she drags Dirk away. 

You wave back enthusiastically. “Farewell, Roxy!” 

Caliborn has been reduced to a groaning, bloody – literally – mess on the sidewalk. “Get up, Caliborn.” You snap. He rolls over with a grunt.

“Well… uh… it was nice meeting you, Calliope.” Tavros says, his hands clasped together in front of him. 

“You, too, Tavros.” You smile gently as he walks back inside his restaurant. 

The crowd that has gathered because of the fight has mostly dispersed. A few people simply left, some went into Tavros’s place for pizza, and yet there are still several that stand and watch. Perhaps they want to see if Caliborn can get up. What a great reputation he’s building for himself.

Caliborn extends a rather bloody hand. You groan and take it, pulling your brother up. He teeters to his feet slowly. Finally, you give up and support him, resting your arm around his shoulders and letting him lean on you. 

“I am going to kill you.” You hiss as the two of you hobble down the sidewalk in the direction of your apartment. 

Caliborn cracks a smile. None of his teeth are missing. You count your blessings. “That was fun.”

“Fun? Caliborn, you two were a few minutes away from killing each other!”

“Yeah, and I would’ve, if it weren’t for your bloody girlfriend!” 

“Roxy’s not my…” You’re stunned into silence. Thankfully, Caliborn’s eyes are swollen shut and he can’t see your blush. 

Roxy == > clean up your lame-o cousin

“I can’t believe you did that!” You yell as soon as you unlock the door to your apartment. 

“It’s not my fault! He started it, I’m telling you!” Dirk is quick to defend himself, but you aren’t letting it slide without at least chewing out your cousin.

“You came all the way up here from Texas because I’m freakin’ out about this girl, and then when you actually meet her and her brother, you blow each other to bits!” 

“He hates me, I’m telling you!” 

You cross your arms. “I’m not going to hear it. Now get in the bathroom and let me check you for broken bones.” 

Dirk shuts up and, with an indignant huff, limps into the bathroom. His nose is at least twice the size it should be. His face, neck, and even shirt are all covered with blood from it. You’re almost certain that it’s broken. 

Dirk pulls off his shirt that’s crusted with dried-on blood. You cringe away from it but throw it in the bathtub to wash later. He’s bruised pretty badly, with more than a few cuts and scrapes from being jostled around on the sidewalk. You pull out disinfectant and wipe him down with it, ignoring his multiple yelps of protest. Wrapping a bandage around most of his torso only produces more protesting on his end. You tell your cousin to grow up. He pouts. 

“Go get changed, I’m takin’ you to the hospital.”

“Noo, Roxyyy!” he whines in protest. 

“Look in the mirror. Look at your face.” 

Dirk shakes his head and winces involuntarily. “I see nothing wrong with my face.”

“Your nose is broken, I’m taking you to the hospital.” 

Dirk glares at you, but you know he knows you’re right. “There’s a shirt in the backseat of my car. It’s covered in car grease. You can’t miss it.”

Apparently, you and your cousin both have very different ideas of what you ‘can’t miss.’ Dirk’s car is the dictionary definition of mess. You open the door of the backseat and an… engine part (at least, that’s what it looks like) falls out at you. It covers your hand in black, slimy grease. Eventually, though, you move enough garbage to unearth a crumpled-up ball of fabric that must be a shirt. You hope it’s a shirt – yes, it is. 

You find your cousin calmly waiting for you on your bathroom floor. “Took you long enough.” 

“Your car is the messiest thing I have ever seen.” You dump the shirt on Dirk’s head.

“Well, your room is a close second.”

You scowl. “Get up, we’re leaving.” 

Great. Driving. Hospitals. It might as well be your motherfucking birthday. 

 

Calliope == > give your brother trouble

“I am so sorely disappointed in you, brother.”

“It wasn’t my fault he’s such a – such a buffoon.” Caliborn argues back from his seat on the edge of your bathtub. 

You sigh. “It is your fault that you got into a fight with him!”

“What’m I supposed to do about that? ‘Takes two to tango’, as you always say.” 

“Don’t throw my own words back at me!” You yell, your voice rising with every syllable as it leaves your lips. “I’m so tired of you getting into a fight with everyone! I swear, you don’t have a single civil bone in your body, heaven forbid I take you out to get pizza and socialize!”

Your voice reaches a crescendo as you look down at your brother. His face remains stoic, void of any emotion, much less remorse. You throw down the roll of bandages and the – open – bottle of disinfectant onto the cold tile floor. 

The door to your room slams shut behind you. In a huff, you grab your sketchbook off the shelf and plop yourself into your desk chair. The only drawing your hand produces is Roxy. You curse under your breath. 

Okay, you figure. It's time to draw something else. Something you're good at drawing. You decide on an eye. But before you come to your senses, you’re already shading the iris in a pink color and drawing Roxy’s eyebrow. Okay. What about drawing something you've drawn before? You flip back through the recent pages of your sketchbook. And … every single page is full of Roxy. Roxy sitting. Roxy standing.

You toss the sketchbook across the room, burying your face with your hands and resting it on your desk.


	11. Roxy == > Be Hella Bored

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roxy gets a nice visit by some unwanted memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay angst

Chapter Eleven   
Roxy == > be hella bored 

Your name is Roxy, and you must say that you’re a bit nervous. 

Calliope hasn’t picked up her phone, or at least answered you, since you saw her last, when Dirk and Caliborn fought. Is she upset? Mad, even? What if she doesn’t want to talk to you anymore? Calliope did seem pretty angry when Caliborn got into the fistfight with that boy at Jade’s Frozen Yogurt the day you had first met. Maybe she’s in the emergency room, like where you find yourself with Dirk. You hope Dirk didn’t hurt Caliborn that badly.

You ball your hand into an anxious fist, only noticing when your nails draw blood from your palm. 

The waiting room is awfully boring, and Calliope apparently can’t be bothered to answer you. She is the only thing on your mind, making it very hard to sit still. You consider walking to her apartment, wherever it is. You might be able to find it if you tried hard enough. Calliope has got to have green curtains hanging in at least her room. You could find it.

Finally, when you’re seriously about to consider looking for her apartment, your phone buzzes in your hand. Calliope!

Calliope: My utmost apologies, Roxy. Caliborn is a bloody pleb. 

Roxy: lmao no its k. I’m hella bored tho.

Calliope: Why don’t you go make Dirk play a board game with you or something?

Roxy: I’m the darn hospital waiting room. :/

Calliope: Oh dear!! What happened? Are you okay? 

Roxy: I’m fine Callie!!! Dirk’s got a broken nose. 

Calliope: Poor love, did my brother do that to him?

Roxy: Pls don’t yell at him its Dirks fault

Calliope: But Dirk didn’t break any of Caliborn’s bones! Oh goodness, Roxy, I’m terribly sorry. 

Roxy: rlly Callie don’t worry he’ll be fine

Calliope: But what about the hospital bill?

Roxy: nah man don’t worry about that either its all under control promise 

Calliope: Are you sure? 

Roxy: yes I’m positive! Rich mother ftw B) 

Calliope: … okay. But I’m going to make Caliborn apologize at least.

Roxy: now that u mention it Dirk could do some apologizin too

Calliope: Shall we make them go with us to Jade’s again tomorrow or do it at a safer, more contained place with plenty of exits?

Roxy: u kno Callie I think that if they meet again they’ll get into another fight I think over the phone is fine and dandy 

Calliope: You’re right. I must go fetch Caliborn now. 

Roxy: nah u don’t hafta, Dirks in the hospital remember

Calliope: Oh, yes I do! Sorry!

Roxy: nah its fine

Roxy: im gonna let u go now, phones almost dead rip me

Calliope: Farewell, Roxy! Best of luck to Dirk!

Roxy: thx! Bye

You hadn’t been lying about your phone, it now has ten percent of its battery left, and you need it in case of an emergency. You hope Dirk comes back out soon. Your phone is near dead and therefore unusable, you’re hecka bored, and the hospital is not a very cheerful place. 

There are multiple people crying in the waiting room with you. You hug your arms to your chest, feeling slightly guilty. You might be bored in here, but at least you know what Dirk will be okay. These people must not know if their loved ones are okay. You rest your chin on your palm. You were just like them the last time you were here. 

You rub your eyelids with the back of your hand. This is the last thing you need, honestly. Things had been going just fine with Calliope recently – okay, so maybe you had that little freak out a while ago before Dirk came to New York, but that was really nothing. You’ve been completely stable.

Okay, Roxy, who are you trying to kid? 

There is no way in hell that you’re doing this now, but apparently you are. In front of people. Ugh.   
You bite the insides of your cheeks until you taste blood (great, now you’re bleeding in two places). You feel like screaming and there’s no way you can win this and holy crap would you take a look at all these repressed memories and why did you sit in the same chair you sat in last time, why, why, why. 

-.-.-

Approximately a year and a half ago, you were in the same waiting room, horrified beyond belief. Dirk and Jake had already been sitting in the seats to either side of your current seat. They had seen it happen from their table at the fancy restaurant they had been dining in that night. 

Well, they didn’t exactly see it happen, but the screaming was enough to make them turn their heads. 

_Dirk had taken off his sunglasses to get a closer look at the accident that had happened just across the street. ‘Look at that, Jake. There’s a car on fire.’ Something about that car had seemed awfully familiar to Jake, a suspicion only confirmed when he saw the license plate for just a brief second. ‘Jumping Jehoshaphat, Dirk, that’s Jane’s car!’_

And then, from what you understand, they got up and left the restaurant. It had been lucky that they hadn’t gotten their food yet. 

Of course, the version you are retelling now may not be completely accurate. Nobody ever told it to you because you had been so upset. But you just so happen to be an excellent eavesdropper, especially when it comes to things you aren’t supposed to hear. 

_A lot of yelling ensued. Jake and Dirk had been able to make their way through the crowd because of Jake’s yelling. ‘She’s my cousin, she’s my cousin, let me through, let me though, she’s my cousin!’ They had helped pull Jane’s body, which was thankfully still breathing, out of her totaled car. Somebody in the crowd dialed the police._

_Dirk had been the one to call you. He had somehow been thinking of you through all the chaos. You had barely been able to hear him through the screaming and the sirens but he was yelling into the phone. Something about a car crash and then something about Jane and then you were able to grasp that Jane was in the car crash._

_You had been in the middle of Tavros’s restaurant, waiting for Jane to arrive. This must’ve been why she hadn’t showed up, when she was usually early._

_‘Roxy, where are you going?’ Tavros had been so innocent then. You wish you had taken your time to realize that that moment had been the beginning of the end. No more of the four of you, no more date nights at Tavros’s, no more kissing Jane, no more Jane._

_‘Somebody crashed into Jane’s car and it’s on fire and she’s hurt and I have to get to the hospital.’_

_The only thing that had kept you from speeding was that Jane just got into a car crash and you don’t need two of those in one day. So you were a perfect, law-abiding citizen and you listened to the law and whatever. You had barely been able to see because you were crying, constant, never-ending tears sliding down your cheeks._

_Jake and Dirk had been in the first row of chairs in the emergency waiting room. They had a chair reserved in the middle just for you. You crashed into it and curled into Dirk’s shoulder, shoving your entire fist in your mouth because you didn’t want to make a sound. He had placed his arm around your shoulders, holding them while they rocked with each of your sobs. Jake rubbed your back gently. It might have seemed like an awkward thing to do at any other time, but you had been grateful for the support of your friends._

_‘How bad?’ You had mumbled the sentence into your fist, making it barely audible._

_‘What was that, Roxy?’ Jake asked, wanting you to repeat the question._

_You had removed your fist from your mouth. ‘How bad was it? Is Jane going to be okay?’ Even with your hand out of your mouth, your voice was so quiet that the boys probably had to stop breathing to hear it._

_Jake and Dirk had shared a look then. You wished they didn’t know each other so well. By now, it was no doubt they could communicate by simply looking into each other’s eyes. You weren’t stupid. You knew there was something they didn’t want to tell you, damn them._

_Dirk was the first one to answer your question. ‘I don’t know, Roxy. It was… it was bad. The doctors are trying their best to save her. I think she’s in surgery now.’_

_You knew what that meant. You knew that Dirk was trying to let you down easy by not explicitly saying she was going to die. You wonder if you were just repressing the thought or if, in your poor state, you had neglected to think of it as an option. But still, you didn’t let yourself believe it. Jane couldn’t just die. She couldn’t._

_The three of you ended up staying in that stupid waiting room all night. Jane’s family arrived shortly after that, and then Dirk realized that he had to call and tell Dave he might not be home. They ended up getting into an argument about whether or not Dave should be allowed to come to the hospital because ‘Jane is my friend, too, and you’re not letting me go just because I’m younger than everyone else. You know, I can always walk to the hospital by myself and surprise everyone.’ Eventually, though, they dropped the argument. Dave stayed at home._

_You were a pro when it came to all-nighters. They were really the only things that got you through school without failing. So you wonder if you were able to stay awake because you were so great at staying awake, or if you were just too nervous to even let the thought of resting cross your mind._

_Jake and Dirk had remained awake with you. The three of you stared across at the sanitary white wall of the hospital that is opposite you. Occasionally one of you would reach out and squeeze the others’ hands or trace circles on the backs of somebody’s palm. You were, after all, in this together. So why had all of you felt so alone?_

_Another doctor exiting the operating room. No news on Jane. Somebody leaves three coffees on the hard plastic chair next to Dirk. None of you had been hungry. None of you had needed anything to stay awake, either._

_Her family was with her when she died._

_Jane Crocker, age nineteen, time of death 6:43 AM._


	12. Roxy == > Leave That Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jade has some advice to share, even if Roxy really doesn't want to hear it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, i know i just posted yesterday.
> 
> No, i have no clue what self-control is.

Chapter Twelve

Roxy == > Leave that place

About another half hour of wallowing in your past and feeling sorry for yourself, Dirk emerges from behind the cursed white double-doors. There’s a white strip of gauze taped to the bridge of his nose and he has two black and blue bruises poking our form underneath his sunglasses that he still wears. But he’s smiling triumphantly, looking just as smug as ever. 

“Miss me?” he asks as you stand up, phone in hand and ready to get the hell out of here. 

You hook your arms around his neck and lean your head on his shoulder, suddenly hit by how tired you are. “Mmhmm. Now let’s get out of here.” Your voice is slightly strained.

You can feel Dirk tense under you as you say that. Aw, damn, you hadn’t meant to make him feel as horrible as you do. He starts for the exit as you scurry to keep up with him. 

“Hell, Roxy, I’m sorry about that. God, I haven’t even thought about – I shouldn’t have put you through that. Why hadn’t you just said something?” Dirk says. His voice is pained. He limps over to your car and opens the passenger door, taking a seat.

“I forgot about it, honestly! I was so worried about you and all I could think about was how dumb you are for getting into that fight in the first place, and it hadn’t even occurred to me that… It didn’t even cross my mind until I was sitting in the waiting room.” You shake your head and wipe your eyes with the back of your hand. Focus on driving. Driving will take your mind off of it. 

“Roxy, I am hereby forbidding you to drive home. Let’s go somewhere, get your mind off of everything.” Dirk blurts as you start the car. 

“Where?”

A few things flick through your mind. Laser tag? No. It’s not as fun without four people, and you’re currently on a quest to escape your past. Ice cream shop? No, that shut down a year ago. The only place you can think of is Jade’s goshdarn frozen yogurt shop. And if Dirk won’t let you go home to the comfort of your phone charger and an entire container of ice cream, then he’ll have to deal with another trip to the yogurt shop. 

“Anywhere.” Dirk says. 

“I’m taking you to the yogurt shop. Again.” You say firmly. Maybe Dirk’ll be so turned off to the idea of another cup of yogurt that he’ll make you drive home anyway. 

No dice.

“Okay.” Dirk shrugs. 

It takes a while to get to the frozen yogurt shop. The disadvantages of not having a hospital in your neighborhood are seemingly never ending. But, eventually, you do get there. The shop is just about empty, the last of the dinner rush leaving. Jade looks up cheerfully, but her face falls at the sight of Dirk’s nose. 

“Dirk! What happened?” Jade asks, leaving her place behind the counter. 

“He got into a fight with Calliope’s brother.” You say. 

Jade makes a face. “Ugh, really? Caliborn must be a real handful, then. I’m surprised, though, I didn’t see a fight. If they were acting so terribly towards each other, why didn’t you just split them up?” 

You press your lips into a thin line, looking down at the floor. Dirk answers the question for you. “Roxy had the bright idea of taking Calliope and Caliborn to Tavros’s place.” 

Jade’s eyebrows furrow. “What? But I thought you hadn’t been there since…” she trails off. Why does everyone have to be so touchy around you? It’s like one mention of Jane in front of you and you’ll just crack like a mirror. 

“I haven’t.” 

Jade motions at the nearest table, inviting you and Dirk to sit down. She joins the two of you. It’s not like anybody’s in the shop, anyway. “Then why’d you take Calliope?”

“I wasn’t thinking. I was caught up in the moment, I guess, I dunno. Calliope was talking about how hungry she was, and I was like ‘hey, why don’t we get some pizza?’ and I didn’t even register… I didn’t even think about…” 

Jade smiles. “So, this Calliope, huh? I don’t mean to pry or anything, but you’ve been seeing her every single day since you met her, and you took her out to pizza.” She waggles her eyebrows. 

“What? Me and her? Oh, no, she’s just a friend! There’s nothing going on between us, I promise!” Your blush betrays you. 

Your friend claps her hands together. “Tell me everything! I want details!” 

You shake your head, smiling. “There’s really not much to tell, I guess. I… I like her and nobody knows and she’s just oblivious to it and there’s literally no way that she’s anything aside from straight, and I just don’t know!” 

“Does anyone know?” Jade asks.

“Dirk knows. You know. That’s it.” 

She raises her eyebrows. “And Dirk coming here. Would I be right to assume that it has something to do with Calliope?” 

Jade’s piecing two and two together, you think. Augh, she’s smart. Fuck her. You don’t like having smart friends.

Dirk nods. “She called me, sounding like the opposite of mentally sane, and I dropped everything and came here. I… was wrong. About leaving, moving to Texas, everything. How could I have left her? So stupid…” 

You place a comforting hand on his back. “’The opposite of mentally sane’, now that’s an understatement. I was in hysterics. And don’t downgrade yourself like that, Dirk. The past is, well, the past.” 

Jade nods slowly. “And that’s why I found Dirk when I went to your apartment? I had no idea, I shouldn’t have been so hard on you, Dirk.” 

Dirk waves his hand dismissively. “It’s fine, Jade, really. I wasn’t exactly warm and friendly either.” 

Jade smiles apologetically at Dirk and turns back to you. “You should ask her out!” 

You gape at her. “What? Sh-she probably doesn’t even like me!” 

“On the contrary, Roxy! Calliope’s been coming to see you every single day! And the one day you didn’t show, she was so nervous! Are you trying to tell me that she doesn’t like you?” 

“How am I supposed to find out? What if I confess my feelings or whatever and then she has to let me down? We’ll never be able to look each other in the eyes again!” You say. 

Jade considers your concerns. “Why don’t you ask her out? On, like, a date? Just the two of you?”

“Isn’t that confessing?” You aren’t understanding her point.

Jade shakes her head at you. “Don’t call it a date. Just inviter her out to lunch with you. Alone. And then if she takes it as a date she’s interested; if she doesn’t, she isn’t interested. That or she’s completely oblivious, but I think Calliope’s pretty smart.” 

“Are you kidding?” Dirk objects, “Calliope’s so ignorant when it comes to flirting, it literally hurts. The entire time I was with them, they were flirting. So obviously flirting. Oblivious, I am telling you.” 

“The entire time you were with us, you were fighting with Caliborn!”

Dirk rolls his eyes. “But when I wasn’t, Roxy.”

“He’s got a point.” Jade says. “Either Calliope is just unaware or she knows exactly what she’s doing and she’s an excellent flirt.”

“Oh, wow, you guys are so helpful.” You cross your arms. “How am I supposed to tell the difference?” 

Jade shoves your arm. “Just ask her the heck out already, I don’t want to hear it!” 

You sigh, unsure of what to do.


	13. Dirk ==> Leave Skaia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk returns to Texas for the time being, and decides to look at whatever the hell it was that Jade gave him.

Chapter Thirteen

Dirk == > leave Skaia 

Your name is Dirk Strider, and as much as you love your cousin, you really must get going. You have to get back to Texas and collect Dave before flying out to London for Rose’s wedding. And the flight leaves in three days. 

Roxy ‘sees you off’, which is really just walking you to your car. She hands you a package, wrapped in light pink wrapping paper and tied with a hot pink bow.

“Oh, Roxy…” you trial off, eying the gift. “You shouldn’t have. Really, you shouldn’t have.”

She smacks you upside your head. “Open it, stupid!”

“Okay, okay.” 

You carefully untie the present. It’s a white t-shirt, but something tells you that’s not all it is. You hold it by the shoulders, shaking it out. Sure enough, there’s a message on the front. The shirt reads “I WENT TO SKAIA AND ALL I GOT WAS A BROKEN NOSE.” On the back are the words “AND THIS T-SHIRT” in parentheses. You laugh. She’s never going to let you forget what happened with Caliborn. 

“So? D’ya like it?”

You try it on. Sure enough, the shirt fits perfectly. You wonder how Roxy got your measurements. Probably measured you while you were sleeping. Which makes the gift creepy and unsettling, albeit kind of thoughtful. 

“Roxy, it’s… certainly something.” you decide to wear it ironically. 

Your cousin waves to you as you pull out of her driveway, a cup full of coffee in your cup holder. “See you in three days!” 

“Bye, Roxy!” 

It soon becomes evident that the next twenty-six hours will be part of the car ride of hell. You hit nearly every single red light in sight and get caught in seemingly endless traffic jams. Dave calls you four times after you tell him you’re on your way home. Each time you tell him to shut up, hang up, and go pack for the stupid wedding. Each time he tells you that he isn’t going to pack until one hour before your flight leaves. 

Twenty-six hours turns into thirty, and you can barely keep your eyes open by the time you turn into your apartment building’s parking lot. There are twelve empty coffee cups lying in the backseat of your car, adding to the mess. 

Dave is sitting on the floor in your apartment with his laptop when you unlock the door. “Hey, Bro.” 

You nod your head in greeting. “Hey, Dave. You behave while I was gone?”

“Only had two parties a day.” He replies in monotone, motioning with his hands to the computer and closing the top. 

You can hardly tell if the kid is being sarcastic anymore, so you just decide to go with it. “Only two? Wow, Dave, you’re really losing your edge.”

He nods absentmindedly. “You making dinner or what?”

You roll your eyes. “You are perfectly capable of cooking your own dinner, you know.”

After Dave is fed, he retires into his room and shuts the door. You doubt you’ll see much of him until tomorrow afternoon, and decide to retire to your room as well. You would sleep if you could, but the buzz of caffeine from your last expresso is still running through your system. 

You spin around in your desk chair for a few minutes, bored. There’s a lump in the back pocket of your jeans, probably a tissue. You reach for it anyway. 

It turns out to be a folded piece of paper with worn edges. You unfold it, recognizing the handwriting instantly. It’s Jake’s letter. Well, it wouldn’t hurt to give it a read before throwing it out, would it? 

Okay. You know it’s an absolutely terrible idea, but you decide to go through with it anyway. Oh man, you’re gonna hate yourself for this one later. Oh well. Everyone does things they regret later, right? 

_Dearest Jade,_

_Greetings from France!_

_We left Scotland a few days ago. I’m sorry I haven’t written as much as I used to, we were hiking a trail called West Highland Way. 96 dadblasted miles, start to finish! Did you know that Scotland has some exquisite scenery? I took dozens of pictures there with the camera you sent me for Christmas (thank you again, by the way), I promise to show you all of them as soon as I return._

_Anyhoo, we’re in France now, like I said. Paris, to be exact. We’re staying in a positively spiffy hotel in the city. I’m rather lucky that most of us opted to room by ourselves, it’s a welcome break from my comrades’ prattling. Four star hotel, can you believe it? The tour guide says we’ll be here for four whole weeks – a month!_

_I’m kind of upset about the preposterous break from hiking, it’s getting in the way of our gusto, if you ask me. But, after the 96 miles (!!!), we need the break._

_Paris is as beautiful as it looks in pictures. No, it’s better than that. You’d love it here. Perhaps, upon my return, we could take a vacation here?_

_The city has been treating me rather well. Well, aside from the jerkwad Frenchmen that won’t stop hitting on me every time I walk down the street. I suppose every city has its drawbacks, right? Even Paris. I wish I could have some peace and quiet when I go out to buy food, though._

_Speaking of the food here, it’s just about the greatest thing I have ever tasted. People have always said that French food is aces, and they are correct. I would mail you a fresh baguette from the bakery down the street, but it wouldn’t be fresh by the time it reached you all the way across the ocean. Sorry about that! I could send you a picture if you’d like, though._

_Like I said earlier, we’re staying here for a month. No hiking! After that, we’re going to another trail somewhere – I’ll have to check with the guide. But a month means I’ll have time to write you all the time! Make sure you write to me as well, okay?_

_How’s your frozen yogurt shop going? Good, I hope. Has anything exciting been happening with you lately? Have you befriended that Calliope girl you told me about in your last letter?_

_Please write me back soon!_

_Your cousin,_

_Jake_

You run your fingers over the small indentations left by Jake’s pen being pressed into the paper too hard. Jake seems like he’s faring rather well in Europe. You wonder if you’ll be able to handle being in the same continent as him while you’re in London. You scowl. Of course you will! You’re not that much of a baby. 

You’re going to take time right now to say that the following actions only occurred because you’re half-delirious and running entirely on coffee. 

What if… what if you wrote a letter back to Jake? Sure, he didn’t mail you anything, but Jade seems to think that giving you the letter is the best thing for the both of you. And now you have his hotel’s mailing address. Judging by the date on the letter, Jake should be in Paris for another three weeks. 

And Jake’s already in Europe. Surely two days would be enough time to get to London, and the wedding isn’t for five… 

You’re going to despise yourself so much in the morning. 

It’s too late for second thoughts, though. You’ve set your mind to something, even if it’s an extremely risky thing to do. There’s no real risk, though, nobody’s going to die or anything. You’re risking the death of your ego. 

You grab a pen and a piece of paper from the kitchen.

Dear Jake, 

No, that’s too formal, you think. Even your business emails don’t start like that.

Jake, 

Better.

Hours pass, and yet you can’t seem to get the hang of writing this stupid letter. Your garbage is overflowing with crumpled pieces of paper, most of which are currently littering the floor. Even your desk is full of rejected letters, though there’s a small space in the middle to fit a new piece of paper and your hand. You’ve used up two brand-new pens’ worth of ink. And you still can’t get the hang of this letter. 

The sun begins to peek through the tops of apartment buildings, and you glance at the clock. You’ve stayed up all night writing and crumpling up letters. The effects of your coffee have long since worn off, but you can’t bring yourself to go to bed just yet. 

You write the next letter from start to finish, not bothering to read over all the words once you’ve finished. It’s probably embarrassing and unorganized, but at this point you don’t care. You fold it up and stuff it into an envelope, scrawling Jake’s address in the center and yours in the return address space. 

Bless overnight shipping.

 

_Jake,_

_Hey. Long time no see._

_How’s hiking going for you? You seem like you’re having a good time from your last letter. I hope you are._

_You’re probably wondering how I got this address. I am too, really. Blame your cousin. She gave one of you letters to me. Don’t kill her, though. I… I appreciated it. The first I’ve seen from you in almost two years. Do you mind that I’m writing to you?_

_Writing a letter is a lot harder than having a conversation, you know. So I’m going to pretend you’re asking me about what I’ve been doing since we’ve seen each other last. Dave and I moved back to Texas. I work for a business that fixes cars. Graduated college, all that good stuff. Dave’s okay, too._

_I’m going to get to the point now._

_Rose is getting married. You probably know that from Jade’s letters, but I decided to remind you. I, uh, got an invitation. Dirk Strider plus one._

_Would you be my plus one? It’s okay if you don’t want to be. I’d understand. You wouldn’t have enough time to write me back and confirm or anything because the wedding’s now in four days. And you’d have to leave France for it, too._

_I’m attaching a copy of the invitation, just in case you decide you want to be there. It has the time and date and location and everything else on it._

_Consider it, okay?_

_Dirk_


	14. Dave == > Do Some Digging

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a very quick chapter but it's all you'll get from me as i am literally leaving for vacation right now bye

Chapter Fourteen

Dave == > Do Some Digging

Your name is Dave Strider, and you do not like to think of yourself as an idiot. So when you can hear noise coming from your brother’s room at five in the morning, you know something’s up. When he leaves to go “somewhere” at ass o’clock, you take the opportunity to do some snooping. 

And yes, maybe you should leave Bro’s stuff alone, but you are, after all, a nosy prick. 

You open the door almost cautiously, half expecting an army of puppets to be dropped on your head. But no, instead you’re greeted by a fuckton of crumpled papers littered around Dirk’s desk and floor. Well, now that you’re here, you might as well read a few. You wonder whatever the hell he wrote. 

It’s a letter.

_Jake,_

To Jake. Of all people. You grit your teeth to keep from screaming in frustration, but keep going anyway. You don’t think you could put it down now, even if you didn’t want to read it. You’re intrigued in the worst way.

_Hello again. How are you? Greetings from Texas._

_Do you like Europe so far? You never really mentioned anything about mountains before Jane died. I didn’t know you liked them so much. I hope you’re having fun, though. France sounds like a fun place to be. Wasn’t it in the running for our honeymoon destination?_

_How many places have you been so far? I mean, it’s been a year and a half. You must’ve found some place more interesting than Skaia. After all, you left us all here._

_I moved back to Texas. Dave, too. I graduated college. Dave got accepted into some high-end college with some great big scholarship for his musical talent and because his test scores were through the roof. Even I didn’t know the kid was that smart._

_What are you planning to do when the tour finishes? Are you coming back to Skaia? Maybe going to Texas with me? Are you even coming back?_

_Please come back._

_When it does finish, can you maybe see me? We don’t even have to do anything romantic. Just… just talk or something. I want to see you again._

_Rose is getting married, just so you know. Unless Jade told you, since you talk to her instead of everyone else._

_I got an invitation for me and a plus one, and I was wondering… would you be my plus one? It’s just a day. Just one day. I just need to see you again. We don’t have to dance or talk or do anything. Your presence in the same room as me is more than enough._

Most of the letter is crossed out, but the following paragraphs are crossed out so fervently that somebody could barely be able to read them. You could, though, if you squinted hard enough. Damn, most of the letter is pretty personal. Your legs stay rooted to the floor even though you know you should really put it back.

Did Bro actually ask Jake to be his freaking plus one? Does he have any damn idea how rash and ludicrous that idea is? Hell, did he even send the letter? You mutter a curse in disbelief as you continue to read. 

_I miss you. Holy crap, I miss you so much. I miss you I miss you I miss you. I miss you every single damn day, Jake. Why the hell did you leave? We could have worked something out. I could’ve helped you out with whatever you were feeling, we could’ve made it through. You, me, and Roxy. The three of us._

_Were you afraid of commitment or something? We could’ve taken a break or we could’ve just stopped marriage talk entirely, if you wanted to. I just wanted you there with me, dammit. I would have done everything for you, you idiot._

_We could pick up where we left off, if you want. Start at the wedding, picking up where we left off or even starting new._

Damn, and you thought the first half of the letter was personal. The cross-outs are darker than the ones at the beginning, and probably rightfully. You’re a Strider and Striders don’t get embarrassed, but if you could be embarrassed, you would probably be embarrassed right now. You can’t make out the next, and last, sentence of the letter, so you turn the paper over to see the initial indentations left by Dirk gripping his pen way too hard. 

_I love you._

_Dirk_

 

While that sentiment sinks in, you crumple the letter back up like it was and retreat back into your room. Not long after, you can hear Dirk’s keys jingling at the door. 

“Hey, lil’ bro.” Dirk greets you as he enters his room.

“You were gone long enough,” is all you reply. Sarcastically, of course.


	15. Roxy == > Ask Calliope Out On A Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is very long.  
> over 10,000 words.  
> of just Roxy and Callie going to a mall.  
> but the plot thickens! We're getting to the good stuff here. Thanks for sticking with me! I love you all!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was completely self-indulgent whoops.  
> I used some real-life inspiration for this though, so I'd like to thank my friends for making me never want to go into a mall again.

Chapter Fifteen  
Roxy == > ask Calliope out on a date

Your name is Roxy Lalonde, and you honestly can’t believe what you’re doing. You’re going to heed Jade’s advice and ask Calliope out. On a date. Like, just the two of you. On a romantic date. You groan to yourself.

The only time you’ve seen Calliope outside of the yogurt shop was when you went to Tav’s with her, which means the only way to ask her out would be to call her. Of course, you could do so at Jade’s, but then you couldn’t go out to eat because of all the yogurt. Well, in theory, you could, but the thought seems more genuine if you make plans beforehand. 

You feel so lost. You know how to call her and make plans, but you don’t know what to say or what to do. You could call Jade - it was her idea, after all. Or you could even call Dirk. But this is something you need to do by yourself. And the fact is that you might be pathetic, but you would never stoop that low. Besides, both of them would just end up either laughing at you or making fun of you. Maybe both. Most likely both.

Some friends they are. 

You don’t even know where to go with her. You’ve been to Jade’s thousands of times, and you’ve already been to Tav’s as well. So you’ll go somewhere special with her, somewhere she hasn’t been before. 

Hmm.

Oh, you’ve got it! You’ll take her to go see a movie, and then maybe the two of you could go out to dinner! It’s perfect. 

Part of you wants to chicken out. It’s been forever since you asked somebody out on a date. Especially on a first date, the worst one. After the first one, it’s relatively easy. But the first one is terrible and hella awkward.

You take a deep breath. You can do this. Your name is Roxy Lalonde, and you are going to suck everything up and act on your crush on Calliope English. Yup, you can do this. 

You lift up the phone, and Calliope answers just as it goes into voicemail.

“Hey, Roxy! Sorry about that, I was painting and I had to wash my hands before picking up the phone!” Calliope apologizes.

You can do this. This is easy. All you have to do is ask her if she wants to see a movie with you. 

And then she either says yes or no. If she says no, you can just play it down, say the two of you could always just go another day and then bury yourself in blankets and scream into your fist forever. 

If she says yes, then the two of you will just plan the whole thing out and then actually go to see the movie and get something to eat. You’ll make small talk and maybe even hold hands or something! Hell, Calliope might even kiss you. And then you’ll go home all happy and bury yourself in blankets and scream happily into your fist forever. 

See? It’s easy! 

“Oh, no, that’s fine! I was just wonderin’ if you wanted to maybe see a movie and get something to eat instead of going to Jade’s today?” you ask. 

“Sure! Sounds exciting! But where would we go?” 

You hadn’t thought about that. “How about somewhere fancy? Like, ooh, I know a mall that isn’t far from here! Only, say, forty-five minutes!” 

Calliope makes a clicking noise. “I, uh, I’d love to… but I am not in possession of a car.” 

“That’s okay, I can drive!” 

“Thank you, love. Would you like me to walk to your place?” 

You give her your address and, with her promise to be there in about a half hour, hang up the phone. Once again, you take into account your dumb decision that you had only made because Calliope makes all your sane thoughts fly out the window. 

Why had you agreed to drive? 

Ever since the “accident” with Jane, you had made a point of only driving when you absolutely had to. Even now, nearly two years after the incident, you only drive to faraway places. And even that is only when you absolutely must. Jade offers to drive you more often than not, though being in a car is nearly as nerve wracking as driving. 

Yet here you are, blowing everything to drive forty-five minutes and over a freakin bridge just for Calliope. 

You’re glad Dirk left for Texas so he won’t laugh at how pathetic you are. 

-.-.-

Calliope == > see a movie with Roxy

Your name is Calliope, and you are very excited! Roxy invited you to a mall that’s out of town to hang out with her! And she offered to drive as well! 

You carefully put away all of your painting supplies and leave your painting to dry. You’re dressed in painting clothes: a white paint-splattered t-shirt and dirty old jeans. Obviously you’re going to have to change if you’re going to a fancy mall with Roxy. 

Caliborn watches you as your heels make clacking noises on the tiles in the kitchen. “Why’re you dressed all fancy?”

You don’t think you’re particularly fancy. Your hair is still slightly curly from when you curled it a few days ago, and you let it fall naturally instead of tying it up. You’re wearing a light green shirt that’s tucked into a white tutu-like skirt that reaches your knees along with white heels. You rather like heels. They make you feel powerful. And tall. Which helps quite a bit, what with your height of five feet and two inches. 

“It’s not fancy, Caliborn, it’s cute.” You declare. 

“Where are you going, anyway? It’s too early to go to Jade’s.” He scowls and returns to stirring whatever it is he’s cooking. 

“I’m going to see a movie with Roxy. At a mall that’s forty-five minutes away.” You had looked up the mall after hanging up with Roxy. It’s a very, very big mall. You’re rather eager to go there. And you feel that you have bragging rights, too. Caliborn’s friends – does he even have any friends? – don’t drive him to fancy malls. 

Caliborn snorts. “So you’re finally dating then? Took you long enough.”

You gape at him, color creeping into your cheeks. “What? We’re not – we aren’t dating! What gave you that idea? Jeez, I’m just seeing a film with her!” your response is a bit too fast for your liking, but you hope it wasn’t noticeable.

“Oh, you’re ‘not dating’? Then why are you going to a huge mall that happens to be close to an hour away with only one person? And I’m assuming she offered to drive you?” Caliborn hurls the questions your way, not letting you get a word in edgewise. 

“We’re just friends, Caliborn. Aren’t friends allowed to hang out with each other?” Your entire face is red with embarrassment. There’s no way your brother doesn’t see your face this way, darn it. 

Your brother shakes his head. “How you can see her every day and not think you’re dating, I’ll never know.” 

You glare at him, grabbing your pastel green bag from the hook near the front door as you stomp out of the kitchen. The sound of your feet hitting the ground is amplified by your heels. “I’m going out.”

“Have fun with your girlfriend!” Caliborn jeers. You can hear the smirk on his face as you slam the front door shut behind you. It’s no use fighting with him. 

Why are you so mad at him? He was just up to his normal shenanigans, teasing everybody around him. You only like Roxy as a friend. You’re just going out with her as a friendly thing. Right? Surely this is the case. Roxy would’ve said something if it wasn’t.

Roxy’s apartment actually isn’t that far from yours, an eight minute walk. You had looked at the clock on your phone to time it for future reference. Roxy answers her door almost as soon as you knock. 

She’s dressed rather formally, as well. Roxy wears a short-sleeved bright pink dress that falls to about one inch above her knees. A white bag with a four-eyed kitten sewn on it hangs from her left shoulder. Her hair is the way she normally wears it – down, with the ends curled up and somehow defying gravity. You don’t think she has enough hair to tie up, anyway. 

“Ready to go?” Roxy asks you, offering her arm. 

You link your arm in hers and smile. “Yes.” 

Roxy walks you to her car, parked at the spot farthest away from her apartment. You find this quite odd, but decide there must be a reason for Roxy doing it. Perhaps the parking lot was full one day, so she was forced into that spot. 

She seems very deep in thought as she starts the car. “Is something wrong, Roxy?” you ask. 

Roxy nearly jumps when she hears you. “What? Oh, no, I just zoned out for a second, sorry.” Her story isn’t very convincing. 

“Are you sure? I could drive, if you want. I may not have a car, but I do have a license.” You say. 

Roxy nods. “’M positive, Callie. Just got distracted for a second, is all.” 

You still don’t believe her, but decide to let the subject drop. Roxy turns the radio on to some station you don’t know very well, but she knows almost all the words to every song that comes on the radio. Soon, you’re out of the stuffy little town of Skaia and on a parkway. There are actual trees surrounding the road, lots and lots of trees. They all have nice green leaves and some even have flowers. 

“Look, Roxy! Flora. Trees. Flowers.” And they aren’t anything like the pathetic ones in Skaia’s park. They can stand on their own, and they’re taller than you. They look happy and very not-sad, like the ones at the park.

“Mmhmm.” Roxy sounds distracted. 

You turn to look at her. Roxy’s eyes are focused entirely on the road in front of her, not even flicking over to you. Her face is pale, completely void of all color. She stopped singing along to the radio a while ago. The parkway is near empty, though. People are probably out taking advantage of this wonderful day. You can’t help but wonder why Roxy’s so nervous. 

“Are you sure you’re alright, Roxy? You’re almost out of gas, by the way.” You’re right, of course. The light on her dashboard signals it, as well.

Roxy glances down at her dashboard and mumbles a curse. She keeps driving, though, pulling over at the nearest gas station. Her hands are shaking as she fills up her tank and goes to pay for it. You shake your head. She sure is acting weird today. Perhaps you’ll ask her about it over dinner. 

The next big obstacle seems to be the bridge. Roxy responds to you even less frequently as you get closer, and the tension in the car is thick enough to cut with a knife. You keep telling her that you can just drive, it’s really no big deal. You doubt she even hears what you’re saying. 

If you had thought that was bad, you really hadn’t thought about being on the actual bridge. Roxy’s knuckles are even whiter than her face as she grips the steering wheel. You’re beginning to seriously become scared. For both of your safety, if you’re being honest. 

“Roxy! What’s the matter?” you demand rather forcefully. 

No response. 

“Roxy, I am genuinely scared! Please tell me what’s wrong!” 

Her eyes flit your way for a fraction of a second before returning to the road. “I’m fine!” Roxy’s voice is clipped and short, but it wavers uncertainly. 

“We’re almost off the bridge, okay? Just calm down. We’ll be fine.” You adopt a serene manner to help soothe Roxy’s nerves and place a comforting hand on her shoulder. She relaxes under your touch. 

Roxy breathes out nervously. “Okay.” 

The rest of the ride takes about fifteen minutes, which pass in silence. Roxy never lessens her grip on the steering wheel and she doesn’t seem to calm down, but you feel like you made a little bit of progress. 

Roxy doesn’t loosen up until she takes her keys out of the ignition. Then she lets out a deep sigh and her posture nearly melts. “I’m so glad that’s over.”

“Roxy, what was that?” You ask, unbuckling your seatbelt and getting out of the car. Roxy does the same, if only a little slower than you.

She shakes her head, waving her hand as if to say “it’s nothing.” You raise your eyebrows in disbelief. “That was insane! What happened to you?” 

Sure, the words come out a bit more rough than you had intended. But what Roxy did back there was not only horrifying, it was also more than slightly concerning. Does this happen every single time she gets behind the wheel?

Roxy shakes her head again. “I just… don’t like driving. Now c’mon, let’s go!” 

You glance at her sideways, but overall decide to let her lead you into the mall. “I’ll drive us home.” You volunteer, though it isn’t a subject that’s up for debate. 

“Okay.” Roxy agrees. You’re surprised she didn’t try to put up an argument with you over that. She must really be shaken. 

The theater turns out to be on the opposite end of the mall from where Roxy had parked. You suspect this is because Roxy pulled into the first open spot she could find. She also happened to park in the indoor parking, a huge maze of cars and people with shopping bags running around that happens to be very, very, confusing. The two of you end up running – let it be known how terrible running in heels is – across the entire mall to where the theater is, on the fourth and top floor. 

According to the theater’s website that you have pulled up on your phone, the comedy Roxy had invited you to see started ten minutes ago. Real smart planning on both of your parts. 

The man behind the counter at the theater tells Roxy this as she goes to buy tickets. You latch onto her forearm. “Come on, Roxy, we can attend the next showing. It’s only in an hour.” 

Of course, Roxy, due to her stubbornness, does not accept this. “The movie only started, like, ten minutes ago! It’s probably still playing commercials, just let us in!”

“I’m sorry, miss, we have a strict policy. No persons late to a film will be allowed into the theater.” The man says firmly, gesturing to the door. “You can come back for the next showing, or, perhaps, see another movie.”

Roxy continues to not take no for an answer. She proceeds to insult the theater’s policy, using words you have only ever heard Caliborn use when he was sincerely enraged. Roxy’s almost jumping up and down in resentment, and you’re afraid she might jump over the counter and strangle the man behind it. You shiver. Roxy would never stoop that low, would she?

Well, you’ve been wrong before. 

She puts her hands on the counter and it seems very likely that she is going to attack the man behind the counter. You latch around her waist and try to pull her back, but you aren’t near forceful enough to hold her back. You had been under the impression that nobody except for Caliborn did things like this.

Thankfully, Roxy does not jump over the counter and strangle anyone, nor does she get into a fight. She does, however, end up getting the both of you kicked out of the theater. When you exit, both of your faces are red, hers with animosity, and yours with severe embarrassment. True to her nature, though, Roxy starts laughing as soon as the two of you get out of that stupid theater. 

“That was so much fun!” Roxy says.

You consider cutting your hair, dying it red, changing your name, and moving to Iowa. When that seems like an implausible plan, you scout the area for garbage cans you can jump into and never leave. “That was your idea of fun?” 

“Hell yeah it was! Did you see the look on that guy’s face when I started yelling? Hah! Priceless!” You will honestly never understand her. 

“That was… the most embarrassing thing I have ever done in my entire life.” You bury your head in your hands. 

Roxy laughs at you. “Then you, my friend, have not lived. Oh, that was so great!” 

“What’re we going to do now, though? I mean, we can’t see the movie and we’re almost an hour away from home, we can’t just go back.” You say, looking around. You don’t know this mall at all. And, judging by how confused Roxy looks, she doesn’t know it either. 

Roxy points into the distance. “To the directory!” she shouts vigorously, running to the nearest stand that you can barely make out. You have to run twice as fast to catch up with her, given your small height and her head start. 

“Shopping.” Roxy says once you arrive, pointing to the floor with all the clothes stores on the directory. 

“Bookstore.” You reply, pointing to the bookstore on the directory.

“Shopping.” The shopping area is two floors down, and there are bound to be lots of people hurrying to and fro in all the stores. 

“Bookstore.” It’s on the fourth floor, but the opposite side from where the two of you are standing now. Not a lot of people seem to be inside. At last, peace and quiet. And books. 

“Shopping.”

“Bookstore.”

“Shopping.” 

“Bookstore.”

“Food!” 

You pause. “Yeah, okay. Food. I could go for some of that.”

“Great! There’s a cute little coffee shop that also serves baked goods on floor two.”

You narrow your eyes. “Damn you.”

Roxy smiles sweetly.

You heave a sigh. “Fine, we can go shopping. But you have to promise me to go to the bookstore with me afterwards.”

Roxy promises. 

“Have you exactly considered how to get there?” You ask hesitantly once the directory is out of your sight. Roxy simply decided to start going north because “there has to be an elevator or an escalator somewhere!” 

“I stand by my previous statement,” she responds, placing her hand over her eyes and looking around. You don’t know what she’s looking for, though, because in front of the two is a white wall. The last time you checked, walls are not elevators. 

You raise your eyebrows. “There does not seem to be any means of getting downstairs on this side of the mall.”

“You’re right.” Roxy admits. 

“You know, if we had just looked at the directory to find an elevator, we wouldn’t have had to do this.” You smile.

Roxy glares at you, but you can tell she does it with kidding intent. “Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

Somehow, the two of you manage to get to the coffee shop without getting lost or trampled by pedestrians. Roxy had been right, actually: it is a small, cute shop. Everything is in black and white, most of the place taking on a checkered pattern. You clap your hands together softly, murmuring about how adorable it is. Roxy grins triumphantly. 

You walk over to the sweets counter. Everything is so big, surely it would take more than one person to eat one of those cakes. Roxy makes the proposition that the two of you could get something to split, and you agree with her. 

“What should we get?” You ask her.

“Well, whaddya want?” Roxy asks you, looking at the array of food. 

You pause for a moment, waiting until you find something that catches your eyes. “Roxy, look, they have cheesecake!” Five varieties, actually. How fancy. 

Roxy scrunches up her nose. “Nah, cheesecake’s boring. Let’s get something else. Like, oh, I know! Let’s get one of those giant brownies.”

. You shake your head. “I don’t know how anybody could eat that much chocolate in one sitting.”

“What the heck, Callie? You have chocolate yogurt literally every day.” Roxy looks at you like you have three heads. 

“No, chocolate yogurt and brownies are different, trust me on this! Let’s just get the cheesecake.”

“No way! Brownies!”

“How about we compromise – chocolate cheesecake?” you propose. Roxy shakes her head.

“Chocolate cheesecake is probably, like, even worse than normal cheesecake.” She says. 

“You said ‘probably’! So that means you’ve never tried it!” 

“I don’t plan on trying it, Callie.” Roxy says, laughing lightly. 

You consider your options. “Then what if we go for something else?” 

“Hmm, there’s a giant cookie!” Roxy says. 

“I was leaning more towards the croissants,” you admit.

Roxy sighs. “How are we supposed to make a decision?” 

As if you know the answer.

Ten minutes later, after three games of rock paper scissors and fifteen eenie, meenie, miney, mos, the two of you are still at a stalemate. Eventually, you just sigh and point to the red velvet cupcakes. 

“Neither of us have said anything about this. Let’s just get a cupcake.” 

Roxy nods. “No objections.” 

You end up getting the cupcake. It’s only three dollars, so you pull out half of that from your wallet, but Roxy shoves your hand away and gives the lady behind the counter a five. You pout. “I’m not letting you pay for me.” 

Roxy grins smugly. “No way in hell, Callie.”

“I’m sure you need the money as much as I do.”

She shakes her head. “Rich mom. Don’t even hafta work. Lemme pay for the damn cupcake.”

Your eyebrows shoot up at Roxy saying she doesn’t work, but you take your hand off the counter and shove your money back into your wallet. She smiles victoriously, collects her change, and ushers you into a table. Roxy takes the seat next to you.

“You know, you didn’t have to pay for me.” You tell her. 

She shakes her head. “I’ve got a rich author mom, Callie. She pays for my everythin’. Do you work?” 

You nod. 

“This proves my point. Allow me to be your sugar daddy.”

You blush. “I don’t need a sugar daddy, and please never say that word ever again.”

Roxy makes a face and wiggles her eyebrows. “What? Daddy?”

“I can’t believe you.” You can feel your face radiating heat. It’s probably red like a tomato. You need to work on getting less flustered. 

And, apparently, Roxy needs to follow directions more. Because the conversation – if you could call it a conversation – you two have while eating the cupcake consists mostly of just two words. They are “no” and “daddy”. Of course they are.

During your “conversation”, the two of you make quick work of the cupcake. Soon enough, you’re off again, back into the heart of the mall. Roxy somehow convinces you to go shopping with her first. Of course, you don’t give in until she promises to go to the bookstore with you as soon as you’ve finished. 

Roxy pulls you into some brand-name store that you’ve only heard of in the media. Everything looks so fancy, you can’t imagine what the price tags must say. You wonder if Roxy shops here frequently. She seems to know her way around. 

“If ya see somethin’ ya like, take it off the rack. We’ll go into the changing room after.” Roxy informs you, piling her arms with dresses and t-shirts and shorts. 

Well, you could go for a new skirt or something. A green dress with white polka dots catches your eyes, and you glance around cautiously before taking it off the rack and draping it across your arm. You decide against looking at the price tag. What you don’t know can’t hurt you, right?

Roxy has at least fifteen things in her arms by the time you have two. She looks at you, turning her head to the side. “Somethin’ the matter, Calliope?”

You shake your head vigorously. “No, no. I’m fine.”

She seems to catch on to what’s bothering you. “Tell ya what – if I pick out some stuff for you, will you at least try them on?” 

You consider her proposal before nodding. “I’ll try them on, I suppose. No promises on buying anything, though.” 

Roxy nods. “Of course.” She smiles. 

Roxy must be one of those people who shops without thinking. She pulls things off the rack with near reckless abandon, handing some to you and keeping some for herself. You wonder if she just gives you everything she can find that happens to be green, but you don’t care. Shopping is rather… entertaining.

“Roxy, I think I’m having fun!” you say happily, a bounce in your step as you catch up with Roxy and match her pace. 

She smiles. “Good! I really need to take you shopping more often, Calliope. You’re so happy, jeez.”

You just grin at her. Roxy laughs. 

Pretty soon, both of you are having trouble holding everything. Roxy tells you to head for the changing rooms, which she directs you to. There’s a whole corridor full of them. You wonder why a single store needs this many changing rooms.

Roxy disappears into one of the white stalls, and you take the one next to her. For the first time, you take a look at everything Roxy’s picked out for you. A few things are more of her taste than yours, but she seems to take your taste into account at least a little bit. 

The first thing you try on is a dress Roxy picked out. It’s mostly a solid mint green, but a grey ribbon wraps around the center and is tied into a bow. The dress is a bit short for your liking, but you suppose you could always wear stockings underneath it. 

“Tried somethin’ on yet?” Roxy calls out from her place next to you.

“A dress you picked out.”

“Ooh, I wanna see!”

Roxy makes you show her everything you try on, no matter how much you detest the miniskirts, how heavy the dress is, or how long the price tag happens to be. From the experience, you learn that miniskirts really aren’t your thing and that Roxy has a rather good taste in fashion, even when it comes to picking things out for you. 

For herself, Roxy has picked out mostly dresses. They’re all hot pink and very, very extravagant. But you think Roxy fits the word “extravagant” to a tee. 

The dress she has on now falls to a few inches above her knees. The top part of it is white, and there’s a poofy skirt attached to it. The top is made of some sort of stretchy fabric that fits Roxy’s shape very well, you believe. The skirt is colored light pink at the top, fuchsia in the middle, and magenta on the bottom. It seems to have some form of structure, unfolding like a tulip.

“It’s so heavy, feel it!” Roxy says, gesturing to the skirt. “It, like, stands on its own!” 

Roxy smiles and twirls around in the dress. She looks… dazzling in it. Her hair is messed about from pulling dozens of dresses off and her makeup is smudged in most places because of the same thing, but you don’t think that matters. Roxy looks more graceful now than she ever has before, and you have no idea why. You’ve seen her looking far better than she does now, but you can’t shake her image from your mind. Whatever. You just think she’s pretty, that’s all. 

“Yeah, I think I’ll go with this one.” Roxy says, sounding rather pleased with her choice. You don’t blame her. 

“Excellent choice, Roxy. You look virtuosic.”

She laughs. “You know, sometimes I have no idea what you’re saying, but I think I’ll take that as a compliment.”

Roxy emerges from her stall not long after, placing some things on a rack of clothes to put back and drapes the rest back over her arm. You follow her example. “Okay, not much longer. Just one more department.”

“What? There’s more shopping?” Your shoulders sag forward. You had thought you were done. 

“Why of course! It’s on the floor below this, though.”

You have no idea where the heck she’s leading you, but decide to follow her. There’s an escalator in the store that she goes down, leading you into an almost empty department. It consists of even more dresses, but they must be the old ones that have already gone out of style. 

“Don’t you think this place is a little sketchy?” You ask. The lights are flickering and Roxy is the only person here besides you. Not even any sales associates. 

“Nah. It’ll be fine, come on!”

Roxy goes off to get some more dresses and hands a few to you. After a while, she points to a sign that reads “dressing room”. “Let’s go!” 

You look at her like she’s crazy but follow anyway. 

The dressing rooms would be fine, except for the fact that there is a huge yellow sign reading “KEEP OUT” across the doorway. You’re about to use this as an excuse to get the heck away from this part of the store, but Roxy kicks the sign out of the way.

“Roxy what are you doing we’re gonna get caught what if there’s somebody in there what if there are bad things happening in there what are we gonna do we should go back upstairs.” You say, the words coming out in a jumble.

Roxy just waves her hand dismissively. “Aw, don’t worry! We’re buying their shit anyway, they won’t care.”

You aren’t exactly sure about that but follow her anyway. You’re doing a lot of that today, aren’t you?

Roxy walks right into one of the changing rooms. It’s huge, but the lights are flickering like crazy and the floor is slippery and there’s a very strange sound coming from the vents that you don’t like very much.

“Alright, I saw another thing back there that I liked, you wanna stay here and hold the fort while I go?” Roxy asks.

No, you would much rather go with her because this whole floor is quite scary. But you don’t say that because you don’t want Roxy to think you’re scared. So instead you tell her you’ll be fine. Because you are a complete idiot.

You regret your decision the second Roxy leaves. The first thing that comes to your mind is that this is one of those things that would happen in a horror movie. You try to pretend like that thought doesn’t scare you but it totally does and you hope Roxy comes back soon.

Thankfully, it only takes her a few minutes. You jumped out of your skin when you heard footprints, but let out an exclamation of pure joy when Roxy announced it was only her.

“I wasn’t gone for that long, see?”

You shake your head. “I could’ve been the person in a horror movie that gets killed. I could’ve died.”

She laughs.

Roxy’s made you get five of the dresses she picked out for you. Of course, you don’t mind. They all look amazing, and they all fit your favorite color scheme. The only thing you’re worried about is the price of all these things. You’ll be able to handle it, though. You needed some new clothes anyway. 

Roxy makes idle chitchat with the cashier as her clothes are ringed up while you wait in the near empty line. She beckons you over. “C’mon, Callie.” 

“What? I’m in line!”

“Put your stuff down.”

“No way in hell!” She already paid for the stupid cupcake, no way are you letting her buy you five whole dresses. 

Roxy just rolls her eyes and rubs three credit cards between her fingers. “Rich mother…” she singsongs, taking your dresses out of your hands and placing them on the counter. 

“I’m not letting you pay for my clothes.” 

She smirks. “Oh, but I’m not. My mother’s adoring fans are.” Roxy hands the cashier her credit card. 

You shake your head. “Okay, fine, the clothes. But you aren’t allowed to pay for anything else of mine. I’m not poor, Roxy. Caliborn has an extremely well-paying job.”

Roxy sighs. “Fine.”

After a pause that you hope isn’t awkward, the two of you have gathered your shopping bags and are ready to head into the big scary mall once again. You don’t want the silence to go on for too long for fear of Roxy thinking you’re angry at her, so you try to come up with something to say. 

“Where to next?” Is all you can come up with, but you suppose it’ll do. 

Roxy considers this for a moment, looking around at the mall that lies in front of you. “Let’s do some more clothes shopping!” she says. 

If looks could kill.

“And then we’ll go to the bookstore, Callie, I promise.”

“Fine.” 

Roxy takes off in the maze of people and shops, and you have to search for her pink dress to find her again. She just laughs at your exasperation and continues into another fancy store. You don’t mind all the clothes shopping that much, actually. Trying on all those ‘hip’ (as Roxy puts it) clothes makes you feel like you fit in, like you had so desperately tried to do back when you were a teenager. 

And, admittedly, the grin on Roxy’s face makes things worth doing, too.

== > be Roxy

Your name is Roxy Lalonde, and you could make a move right now if you wanted to. 

If you could muster up the courage to. 

Calliope is standing right there next to you, so close than you can practically feel her body heat. She’s nervous, probably not used to being in such a big, crowded mall. You think she’s lived in the suburbs or something her whole life, never this close to the city or civilization. Malls like this, however, are your natural habitat. You’re unnaturally good at navigating them and getting to the stores you like. 

Calliope stays close to you while you’re in the open part of the mall, afraid she’ll get lost or something. She’s so cute sometimes, you might, like, die. 

At one point when you have to cross the entire floor of the mall, you reach out to take her hand. She accepts the gesture, and her hand slips into yours. You’re ecstatic – you and Calliope are holding hands. Surely she knows what this implies, she’s not dumb. Heck, even the way Calliope walks after the two of you intertwine hands is different from her normal walk. It’s more carefree, she’s surer of herself. 

It’s really nice to hold someone’s hand again, especially Calliope’s. 

Trying on clothes with her is fun, too. The way she gets so flustered and happy when you compliment how she looks is just fricken adorable, man. You can’t help but wonder if this means she likes you. She’s so nice to everyone, it’s difficult to tell when she’s flirting and when she isn’t. 

Ugh.

As promised, though, Calliope drags you up to the fourth floor to the bookstore. She’s elated on the way up the escalators. “Can you believe it, Roxy? Oh, I bet it’s a huge bookstore. It was so big back on the directory!” 

You smile. “I’m sure it’ll be great, Callie.”

Once the two of you reach the fourth floor, Calliope is practically jumping up and down. She bounces over to it and breezes in through the doors. And then she takes a deep breath. “It smells like new books in here!” 

Well, Calliope was right about it being a huge bookstore. The shelves are set up neatly in rows, and on one side there’s an area with beanbag chairs to read books. Clearly printed signs with big black print are posted around the store, clearly labelling where everything can be found. The look on Calliope’s face says it all: she’s in paradise. 

“It’s so big.” You say, looking around. 

Calliope nods absentmindedly before tugging on your hand and pulling you into the Young Adult section. It easily takes up a third of the bookstore, and she couldn’t be happier. Immediately, you’re pulled into an aisle where Calliope pulls books off shelves, reads the summary, and then puts them back. After a while, she sighs. 

“What’s the matter, Callie? Don’t like any of the books?”

She shakes her head vigorously. “No, no. I’ve just read them all.”

“Wow, really? How many books have you read?”

Calliope laughs gently. “Quite a few, actually. It was the only form of entertainment I had, what with Caliborn being, well, Caliborn.”

You smile. “Have fun with you books and whatever, I’m gonna go check out the wizard stuff in the back over there. Get some fanfiction ideas.” You rub your hands together, faking an evil grin. 

Calliope hums a reply, taking another book off the shelf. “I’ll meet you later over by the beanbags, then? We have our phones, we can text each other.”

“Sounds like a plan.” You say, heading off towards the wizard novels. 

-.-.- 

You end up not needing to call Calliope because she’s already seated by the time you emerge from the wizard section. She’s perched delicately on one of the beanbags – the green one, obviously – with a notebook in her lap. Calliope is holding a pencil that she moves very delicately, making precise lines. She must be drawing something. Due to the look of concentration on her face, you decide not to interrupt her. 

Of course, interrupting would mean saying something to her. So walking stealthily behind her to catch a glance of what she’s drawing isn’t exactly interrupting. You kinda feel bad about sneaking a peek at what she’s drawing, but you also kinda wanna see what she’s drawing. 

So you let your curiosity get the best of you and you walk behind her. And you see something you didn’t exactly expect to see. 

Calliope’s drawing you.

Well, not just you. You’re standing in between two very detailed bookshelves that you notice are the wizard ones. Calliope’s drawn individual books on the shelves, each one with a different height and width than the one before it. There’s even the annoying window placed so annoyingly between the bookshelves that streams light into the room. 

In the picture, you’re on your tiptoes, trying to reach a book on the top shelf. Even your expression is on point, the way your eyebrows are slightly creased in concentration and determination. Light from the window reflects from you at just the right angles, making you look bathed in sunlight and a lot prettier than you actually are.

Damn, Calliope is a really excellent artist. You carefully step back from behind her, letting out a breath you had been holding so you didn’t make noise. Quickly, you start busying yourself with your bag, searching for your phone (damn, you need to clean that thing out). Your search for books had proved to be fruitless, but you didn’t mind. Just being in the wizard section of any bookstore is enough to make you hella happy. 

Calliope looks up. “Roxy? Is that you?” 

You nod. “Heck yeah it is! Ready ta go whenever you are, unless you wanna draw a bit or somethin’.” 

She smiles. “Only if it isn’t any trouble, love.” 

Why do some people use the word ‘love’ as an endearment? Because holy crap is it adorable. Your cheeks go slightly red and you take a step back. 

“Oh, no, it’s fine! I’ll be back with the wizard stuff if ya need me!” 

Calliope nods absentmindedly and returns to her notebook. 

You pull out your phone as you walk over to the wizard section, flipping through your phone, opening and closing apps. There are only so many wizard novels here that are entertaining enough to read, and you’ve read all those anyway. Besides, they’re too straight for your liking. Fanfiction is much better. As you’re in the middle of reading the newest chapter from said fanfiction about majyyks and wizards, your phone pings. 

Dirk: sup

A part of you doesn’t want to respond to him. After all, you think that you’re nearing the climax of the whole work, and the chapter you just finished ended with a terrible cliffhanger. But if Dirk texted you, then he’s either bored or there’s some pressing worry on his mind. He’s such a workaholic, you’re normally the one calling him. With a sigh, you decide to respond to your cousin. 

Roxy: im at the mall w callie sup urself

Dirk: are you on a date, roxy? 

Roxy: no!!!!!!!

Roxy: … I mean yes

Dirk: I knew she liked you

Roxy: i dont think she knows its a date

Dirk: you gonna tell her? 

Roxy: not now at least were havin a hella time

Dirk: where are you anyway? the closest mall is like an hour away

Roxy: at that mall

Dirk: she drove?

Roxy: i drove

Dirk: what really damn you’re in love

Roxy: stfu

Roxy: did i ask for ur opinion 

Roxy: the answer is no

Roxy: i did not

Dirk: i hope you know how much suggestive eyebrow wigglin is taking place, RoLal.

Roxy: yeah yeah w/e

Dirk: have fun with your girlfriend

Dirk: I’ll see you tomorrow 

Roxy: see ya tmrw, Dirkie!! tell dave i said hi

Dirk: you bringing Calliope as your +1?

Roxy: ah shit 4got about that ill have to ask her

Dirk: have fun with that, Roxy. 

You sigh. How are you supposed to ask her now? Oh hey Calliope I have to travel halfway around the world tomorrow night, wanna come with? Calliope is so meticulous, she wouldn’t be able to pack in a day! Maybe you could make it work. After all, the plane takes off at a quarter to three in the afternoon tomorrow, so you have a bit less than a day to bring it up. That’s a decent amount of time. 

Would Calliope even want to come with you? 

Of course she would! She came all the way to this mall with you, after all. She put up with your horrible nervous driving and then offered to drive on the way back. Heck, she sees you every single day. She drew you in her notebook, which has to mean something. The way she drew you even seemed practiced, like she’s drawn you before. Maybe it’s wishful thinking, but what if she likes you? That would mean Calliope would definitely go with you to London. Right? 

You push the thought out of your mind; you’ll think about it later.

Someone places their hands on your waist and squeezes. Surprised, you squeal. You jump in shock and turn around, only to see Calliope doubled over with laughter. She has this adorable giggle that’s bubbling out of her. One of her hands is clamped over her mouth, the other on her knee, holding her up.

“What was that for?” You ask, alarmed.

“I affrighted you, did I not?” Calliope asks, grinning wildly.

“Hell yeah ya did,” comes your panting response.

She makes a proud humming noise. “I finished what I was doing. What’s next on our agenda?”

You consider this. “Well, we haven’t eaten in a while, why don’t we go to a restaurant?” Dinner and a movie – or at least an attempted movie. Dirk will certainly get a kick out of this. 

Calliope claps her hands together. “Oh, what an excellent proposal! Where shall we go?”

“There’s a restaurant right next to the bookstore that I went to once. It’s pretty good, wanna go?”

“Lead the way, Roxy.”

The restaurant turns out to be a decently fancy one, with fancy chairs and wooden tables. The whole place has this grand pink theme that you did not remember it having when you were here before. You wonder if the food tastes anything like it did when you went here last, which was probably well over two years ago. 

Luckily for you, there isn’t a line to get in. Calliope walks up to the person behind the front desk and asks for a table for two. She smiles at both of you – probably assuming that you’re together together – and escorts you all the way across the restaurant to a small table for two. It’s next to a fake waterfall. A fake pink waterfall full of heart-shaped paraphernalia. A fake, pink, heart-themed waterfall where two people had been kissing not two minutes ago. And it actually looks pretty. 

It’s some cheesy place for lovers. You want to hate it, but there’s a pretty decently-sized part of you that wants to kiss Calliope by the pretty waterfall. You don’t need this. You’re going to make a genuine, plotted, move on her one day – not something that you only considered because of a romantic waterfall. The waterfall is probably casting a magic spell on you making you want to kiss her. Wow, are you a sucker.

“What a lovely table!” Calliope enthuses, looking around at your surroundings. Of course she likes it. 

That waitress probably put you next to that stupid waterfall on purpose. Her sly smirk and the whip of her ponytail as she walks away are enough to tell you that. And the fact that, on your journey to the table, you passed about a dozen empty tables outside the restaurant, overlooking the mall. 

“Uh… yeah, you’re right, Callie. Everything looks so… heart-shaped.”

If you ever see that waitress again, you will kill her. You are perfectly well equipped to make a move on Calliope yourself, whenever you feel like it. You don’t need some big, pink, heart-shaped, waterfall “of love” to do your job for you. It’s actually called the “Waterfall of Love”, you note, looking at the bright pink sign hanging above the waterfall. 

Calliope eyes the fountain with barely-veiled disgust on her face, but eventually snaps out of it and plasters a smile on her face. You can’t help but wonder if most of Calliope’s good nature is just some mask she puts on when she looks at icky love waterfalls. Not that it’s your place to ask, but you can speculate.

“What’re you gonna order, Callie?” You ask her, which snaps both of you out of some strange daze.

“Hmm? Oh, um…” she trails off, picking up the menu and looking through it. 

You look at the menu as well. Nothing looks particularly appetizing, though you are nearly certain you remember it as being a great restaurant. Whatever, maybe the food is good after all. Calliope decides on some fancy salad with a ten-word name, and you upstage her by wanting a pretentious twelve-word fancy salad. 

“And now we wait for the waitress.” You say with a small huff, sinking further back into the booth. Calliope laughs.

Awkward silence time ensues. For the moment, it seems like the two of you have discussed everything there is to be discussed, so neither of you say anything. The only thing to be heard is the trickling water from that goddamned waterfall, which seems to only be there to taunt you.

I’m better at romance than you are, Roxy. Just look at me. I’m a heart-themed waterfall, what kind of girl doesn’t like me? Don’t I make you want to kiss her? Go ahead, do it. She likes you back, you know. She drew you. You saw it yourself. She’s thinking the same thing about me, actually. Go do it. 

You scowl. Not only are you being one-upped by a waterfall, but now you’re imagining it talking to you. Talk about pathetic, jeez. Okay, you’re going to talk to Calliope now, and ignore the strange waterfall hallucinations. 

“So, how are things with Caliborn? He hasn’t gotten into any more fights, has he?” You ask. You’re grappling for conversation ideas a bit – alright, a lot – but anything is better than awkward silence.

Calliope smiles, shaking her head. “No more fistfights, no. How’s Dirk?”

“He’s back in Texas or whatever. ’Parently he wouldn’t dare take more than a week off of work, even though he needs a vacation. Workaholic, ‘m tellin’ ya.” 

She laughs. “I’m awfully sorry about that fight, by the way.” 

You shake your head. “Old news, Callie.” 

“I really am! I can’t believe brother dearest broke Dirk’s nose!” She says, emphasizing brother dearest in a sarcastic way. 

“Seriously, Calliope, it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t either of our faults, it was purely Dirk and Caliborn.” You say. 

Calliope looks down. “I know, I just feel bad about it.” She clasps her hands together on the table. 

You reach up and place your hands over hers without thinking, rubbing your thumbs over her knuckles. It’s a gesture you don’t think twice about, something that just comes naturally. Perhaps you should have hesitated when doing something like that, something so ridiculously romantic. But hey, heat of the moment. 

Calliope doesn’t back away from the touch, either. If anything, she leans into it. It must come as naturally to her as it does to you. Calliope allows herself a small, soft smile. But this is something you notice as genuine, nothing like the smiles she wears in public. 

There’s something inside of you that just thinks, this is it. This is your moment. And then it becomes a mantra in your head, repeated over and over until you’re practically shouting it inside of mind with all of you mind. And then you’re kinda leaning and Calliope is kinda leaning and all you’re thinking is that holy crap you’re gonna kiss her and you’re about to kiss her and – 

“Hey guys, are you all ready to order?” 

It’s the idiot waitress, standing right next to your table. She wears the same smirk she had been wearing before, making it all too clear that she meant to interrupt the two of you. You feel like punching her right in her face, those strange half-sunglasses be damned. But you don’t, because Calliope is right there. 

Calliope is very clearly flustered. She retracts her hands from underneath yours and runs them through her hair, then opens the menu once again to search for the name of the salad that she already knew. So you take pity on her and order first. By the time you’re done, she places her order in a still shaky voice. 

“’Kay, great! I’ll have your food ready soon.” She throws you a wink over her shoulder as she flounces away. 

Once she leaves, it’s clear that there’s no way to regain the moment that was lost. Calliope is far too flustered still, and you aren’t as smooth as you used to be. Something like ‘where were we’ doesn’t seem like it would be enough given the situation. Calliope deserves something that feels right, not a hasty sentence after some asshole waitress ruined the mood. 

So you sink back into your booth, cursing the entire world and everyone in it. 

Calliope makes a desperate – yes, even by your standards – attempt to restart conversation. You try to help her by giving fair-sized explanations and asking her questions once you’re finished answering. But really, everything just seems not genuine, superficial, and mediocre. 

You had been so close to kissing her. And she had been so close to kissing you. Had she wanted to kiss you? It sure had seemed like it, if you do say so yourself. It’s all the stupid waitress’s fault that nothing else happened. 

Blaming the waitress won’t get you anywhere. You know this, you’re not stupid. But it seems like the easiest thing to do at the moment, so you let yourself brainstorm multiple violent ways to kill her. 

Calliope doesn’t seem to be doing much better. She glares in the waitress’s back when she isn’t looking and doesn’t envelop her in paragraph upon paragraph of pleasantries. Instead, she chooses to supply her with short, clipped responses, using undescriptive words instead of her usual long-ass words. It’s strange, actually being able to understand her for once. 

The waitress seems to be slow on purpose, taking forever to collect your empty plates and give the two of you the check. Calliope, of course, insists on splitting it evenly. You decide to choose your battles, and split it with her without an argument. 

You’re an advocate for not tipping the waitress at all. Calliope, the better-mannered of the two of you, informs you that you have to give her a tip, it’s just common etiquette. You roll your eyes but listen to her and give the stupid waitress a tip. 

And then the two of you practically run out of that goddamned restaurant. Being free from it is the best thing you’ve felt in the world. There is no way either of you are going to set your feet in there ever again. 

“So… that was an adventure.” Calliope says, laughing halfheartedly. 

You nod. “Let’s get out of here.” It’s the only thing that really comes to your mind. 

Calliope looks up at you. “Where are we going?” 

You shrug. “We could do some more shopping, if you feel like it, or we could go home already. It’s nearly pitch black out there, after all. The mall is about to close.” 

She sends you a strange look, but ultimately decides to go back home with you. The two of you make a beeline to the elevator system. “Have you got any idea whatsoever about how to work these things?” Calliope asks you once the two of you have approached the silver corridor lined with six elevators. 

You nod, sure of yourself. “Of course I do! See, ya gotta look at the green up arrow or the red down arrow. The green arrow means it goes up, and the red arrow is going down.” 

A voice comes from a speaker overhead, startling Calliope and making her jump. “Attention, shoppers: the mall closes in fifteen minutes. Please be in your cars or out of the shopping center in fifteen minutes. Thank you and have a good night.”

“We gotta get out of here,” Calliope comments, looking around. “Shops are starting to close.”

An elevator dings just then, and Calliope runs for it. You run after her, ready to get in the elevator. But, of course, no such luck. The arrow next to the door points up. You mutter a curse word as two elderly people stumble out of it. 

Similarly, the next six elevators are all going up, even though there’s only one floor above you. Calliope is beginning to get slightly paranoid, running to each and every elevator that makes a dinging noise. You’ve always known Calliope to be rather quiet and reserved, but she’s shaking by the time the seventh elevator is due to arrive.

Ding. 

Calliope takes off running down the corridor, her heels making loud booms that echo throughout the room. You run after her as the door opens. 

Green arrow. 

“Damn it!” Calliope shouts enthusiastically as a bewildered group of young teenagers shuffle out the doors and into the mall. The words are followed by an entire string of curses that you didn’t even know she knew, but you suppose that she must have learned them by living with Caliborn. So much for thinking she was the cute, innocent one. 

You scurry over to her, resting your hand on her shoulder. “Callie, shh, we’ll be fine. This is fine. You wanna go and run down four flights of escalators?” 

She weighs the options before nodding and letting you grab her wrist to drag her all the way to the escalators. Calliope is significantly slower than you are, and makes multiple complaints that her heels are killing her. She must not be used to walking in them, but you have to get out of this stupid mall before it closes and everyone leaves. 

The thing about escalator steps is that they’re steep, and it’s very hard to walk down anything moving as it is. But Calliope’s hella nervous. She just wants to get out of here before it officially closes, and no matter how many times you’ll tell her to calm down, you know she won’t listen. So you decide to humor her when she takes off running. 

You’re clinging onto the elevator’s railing for dear life as Calliope nearly flies down the escalator. She has huge heels on and she’s already wobbly, but somehow she manages to not trip and make a fool out of herself on the first two escalators. 

She falls down the third escalator, though. 

You don’t even notice it until she’s in the middle of falling, but her foot trips up while she’s running down one of the steps, and the her other foot isn’t prepared to keep all of Calliope standing, so she just falls. Calliope lets out a little squeak as she thud-thud-thuds down the steps, which continue to descend even after she stops falling. 

Calliope forces herself into a standing position as the elevator approaches the end so she won’t fall and brushes herself off. “Callie! Are you okay?” 

She nods. “I – I’m fine!” she calls up as you reach the bottom of the escalator.

You notice Calliope is rubbing her elbow, and when she pulls her hand away, it’s red. She’s bleeding. Calliope winces as she moves her elbow around. “Roxy, dear, could you reach into my bag and pull out a bandage?” 

You do as she says, opening her bag carefully and finding an entire first aid kit inside of it. Without questioning her, you simply take out the bandage and wrap it around her arm. There isn’t much you can do for her in the middle of the mall, but it’ll have to do for now. You’re on your way home, anyway. 

Calliope thanks you and you take her hand gingerly before leading her down the next escalator. You walk more slowly this time, but Calliope doesn’t seem too phased by her injury. She ends up pulling you along once again, and you let her. 

After what seems like ages, the two of you make it down to the ground floor. You’re both winded beyond belief, but the five minute announcement came on not long ago and you still aren’t in the car. 

“Hey, Roxy?” Calliope says, looking around at the mall. 

“Hmm?” 

“Do you, by any chance, remember what section we parked in?”

“Ah, shit.” 

The answer is no, you most certainly do not remember which section you parked the car in. The mall is known for having terrible parking garages even if you remember where you parked your car, and you have no clue. 

“Uhh… I think we came in by the crepe kiosk, right?” you ask.

Calliope looks absolutely lost – literally and figuratively – but she nods. “I guess? I don’t remember, but if you do, then that’s better than nothing.” 

So you run off to the exit by the crepe kiosk, which is already closed down. Calliope uncertainly pushes the door to the parking garage open and you find yourselves in a nearly empty gray garage. 

“Must you have a silver car, Roxy?” Calliope asks miserably as she looks around for it. Normally, you would retaliate, but you’re hella tired and both of you are nervous as hell. 

You and Calliope walk in a circle, ending up on Lower Level One and then walking all the way back up to Level One and then up to Level Two. No car. You’re about ten minutes away from walking home when Calliope pulls you back into the mall.

“Where are we going?” You ask. 

“The help desk.”

You don’t protest. After all, it’s not like you have any better ideas. Calliope pulls you to some official-looking white and black desk all the way to the left side of the ground floor. A bored lady sits behind the desk, clearing some paperwork off her desk and looking like she wants to take a nap.

“Excuse me?” Calliope asks, approaching the desk.

The lady looks up. “What do you want?” she snaps. 

Calliope looks at her sadly and uses her puppy dog eyes, probably trying to invoke sympathy. “I lost my car and I can’t find it and the mall is about to close and I don’t know what to do!”

You remind yourself to give Calliope a medal for best realistic acting. She puts just the right amount of forlornness into her voice so the lady will feel bad for the two of you, but not enough for her to think that she’s being taken advantage of. 

The lady still looks bored. “Not my job, lady. You’ll have to look. It’ll be somewhere in there.”

Calliope is practically radiating hatred off of her body, and you gently lead her out of the mall and back into the parking garage. The last thing you need is for Calliope to pop her calm, collected top just as you’re about to flip your lid as well. 

The parking garage is significantly colder than the mall, so you and Calliope are left shivering with short sleeves and no jackets. You can barely keep your eyes open, surely it’s the same thing for Calliope. She complains every once in a while that her feet are really really starting to hurt her, but you both know there’s nothing you can do until you get home. 

Calliope throws up her hands in exasperation. 

“Callie, it’s okay. We’ll find the car, I promise you. How about we go to that building over there and see if it’s a help desk?” you say soothingly, rubbing Calliope’s back. She just nods, too tired to form anymore words, probably. 

You were right! The gray brick building in the parking garage turns out to be some sort of parking help desk, and Calliope pushes the door open with some degree of difficulty. The two of you get your spirits lifted somewhat by this, so at least you can stand completely upright without looking like a corpse. 

“Can I help you?” the man behind the desk asks. Unlike everyone else in the building, he seems refreshed and ready to work. His shift must have just started. 

“Hi! We, uhm, we can’t find our car. It was parked on Ground Level.” Calliope says politely, folding her hands on the dusty old desk and trying her best to look awake. 

The man nods vigorously and swivels his chair over to a different desk with multiple computer screens. They all display multiple parts of the parking garage, granting the man access to seeing everything that goes on in the garage. “What’s your car look like?” 

Calliope describes your car, and the man checks the cameras. He finds it without a tremendous amount of struggle. He gives Calliope directions on how to find it and she thanks him before walking out of the small office with you at her heels. 

“That was easy.” You say, “I was so totally right!”

Calliope rolls her eyes. “At least we found the damn car.” She says, losing her happy demeanor once again and letting her shoulders sag down. 

Sure enough, the car is exactly where the man said it would be. You run for it, keys dangling in your hand. You unlock the car and take the driver’s seat. Calliope refuses to get in the car and instead stands in front of it, tapping her foot. 

“What d’ya want, Callie?” you ask. 

“Driver’s seat,” she replies, but you have to roll down the window to hear her. 

“Aww, Calliope.” 

Calliope raises her eyebrow. “Let me drive, Roxy.” 

An intense stare down follows, and eventually you give up and hand the keys to Calliope, sliding into the passenger seat. She nearly immediately brightens, taking the driver’s seat and putting the keys into the ignition. You can’t believe you let her win, but perhaps it was for the best.

As soon as she pulls out of the parking garage, you visibly stiffen. Calliope looks over at you as she pays the parking ticket, concern clearly taking over her features. “Roxy, what’s wrong?”

You don’t respond at first, but then decide on a simple, “nothing.”

“Love, something’s wrong. I don’t mean any harm, but I’d really like to know what the ‘something’ is.” Calliope says, but after that, she drops the subject. 

Neither of you say another word until Calliope approaches the bridge, when you bring your legs up and hug them to your chest. Calliope takes one of her hands off the steering wheel and places it comfortingly on your knee. 

“Calliope, Calliope, holy shit, Calliope, both hands on the wheel, holy shit.” The words come out of your mouth in a steady, wavering flow, and you move her hand off your knee. 

Calliope sends you a look, and you’re about to open your mouth to tell her to look at the goddamn road, but she looks back before you can say anything. “Roxy, if you were to divulge some information to me, I could help you, you know.”

You grit your teeth as if it will steady you, wrapping your arms even tighter around your legs. “I’m fine.”

She doesn’t look at all convinced, but decides to drop it once again. 

The silence crushes you. It provides you with nothing to hear or see except for the inside of the car and the road and the cars around you. You feel like you’re going to collapse in on yourself, and the impending sense of doom wraps itself around you like an unwelcome blanket. But regardless, you don’t say anything about it. The last thing you need is Calliope worrying about you.

Calliope pushes seventy on the highway, and that’s when you can feel your grip on sanity beginning to slip away. You rest your head on your knees and squeeze your eyes shut. Just don’t think about it stop thinking about it it’ll all be over soon don’t think about it.

You’ll be damned if you do anything stupid on this drive. You already know Calliope is just about worried sick, but you really don’t feel like telling her anything yet. She pulls off of the highway soon enough, and only then you look up at the road. Okay. You know where you are. You’re only about ten minutes away from home. You can do this. 

Every once in a while, Calliope sends you a nervous glance, and you do your best to return her gaze with a smile. You watch the digital clock in your car anxiously, congratulating yourself every time you make it through a minute without screaming. 

Calliope pulls into your parking lot and you audibly let out a breath. She parks in the same spot you had – all the way in the furthest back corner. You thank her shakily. She takes the key out of the ignition, gets out of the car, and opens the door for you. You’re slightly shaky on your legs when you get out, but become gradually steadier as the two of you approach your building. 

“I had a wonderful time, Roxy.” Calliope says, bouncing a bit on the balls of her feet underneath a streetlight on the sidewalk, “But I really must get going. It’s quite late.” 

You nod. “’Course, Callie. I, uh, had a lot of fun tonight, too!” 

Calliope is about to turn around and walk home when you make one of the biggest slip-ups you’ve ever made. You aren’t thinking, you’re just acting impulsively. 

You cup Calliope’s chin with your hand.

And then you kiss her.


	16. Calliope ==> Be Shocked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> English family bonding time!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh dear. Is this out of character? Who knows really. But I'm always a slut for protective Caliborn and feelings jams

Chapter Sixteen

Calliope == > be shocked 

Your name is Calliope, and you wish you could understand what the heck just happened. 

Actually, you have some idea of what happened, but you really wish you didn’t. 

Roxy just kissed you. 

You’re positively shocked, and Roxy doesn’t seem much better than you. She opens her mouth to say something, but you’ve already turned around and started running. 

Your feet had been killing you, but now they certainly aren’t. Besides, you’re too preoccupied with fleeing to notice how much they hurt. The thought of slowing down doesn’t even cross your mind. You’re too busy worrying. 

Just as you turn onto your street, you grab your keys from your bag. Your apartment isn’t far from here now. There’s so much adrenaline running through your veins that you take the stairs to your fourth floor apartment without thinking twice. Waiting for the elevator will take too long. 

Caliborn is lounging on the couch when you jam your keys into your door and swing the door open. He’s watching some show on his laptop, and something tells you that you really don’t want to know what he’s watching. The noise you cause with your fumbling is enough to direct his attention to your face. 

“Calliope, what’s wrong?” Caliborn asks as you run away from him, in the direction of your room. 

It takes you longer than it normally does to get the door to your room open. Your hands are shaking uncontrollably, which causes you to struggle with a handle for the second time since arriving home. The door slams shut behind you. You continue to your bed in a huff, collapsing into a sitting position on your conscientiously made bed. Something wet lands on your knee. You hadn’t even noticed you were crying. Only once you’re sitting and slightly calmed down do you notice the dull ache of your feet. You pull off your heels and throw them across your room. They land in the closet. 

Someone knocks softly at your door. Caliborn. “Calliope, are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” You sound like you’re crying. You are. 

A pause. “Can I come in?”

“Not now, Caliborn.” 

Caliborn seems to mull this over for a few seconds. Finally, he decides to say something. “I’ll come back later. I’m going to go make hot chocolate, though.”

The ghost of a smile appears on your face. You used to make hot chocolate for yourself and Caliborn when he would get into arguments with your father to calm him down. It was over hot chocolate that you made the decision to move, first to a little town about an hour and a half away from the city and then to Skaia, thirty minutes away. You’re lucky to have such a sweet brother. Well, he’s sweet most of the time. 

Caliborn knocks on your door again in about five minutes. This time you tell him to come in. After all, he did make you hot chocolate. You can’t just drive him away. Your brother enters your room carefully holding two mugs with steam rising from them both. 

You reach up and take the lighter green cup from his hands. “Thank you, love.”

Caliborn takes a sip of his drink and manages to get himself a chocolate mustache. “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” 

It’s awfully difficult to take your brother seriously when he has a milk mustache. You reach over and wipe it off of him, much to his chagrin. 

“You know how Roxy asked me to go to the mall with her?” Caliborn nods. “Well, you were right. About it being a date.” 

Your brother’s eyebrows shoot up. “What’d she do?” He sounds like he’s about to fight Roxy. You’d really rather he didn’t. 

“It was fine in the beginning, nothing happened and I had a positively grand old time. But then, when I was leaving to walk back here, she… Roxy kissed me.” You omit the part where you almost kissed her at the restaurant. That whole situation had been beyond awkward, especially with the waitress and everything. 

Caliborn looks shocked, but he doesn’t know what to say. You always had been the more articulate one. “Did you… did you want her to kiss you?” 

You take a long sip of your hot chocolate before answering. “I don’t know! This whole thing is just so confusing, and I thought I had been on top of my emotions, and I thought I only got so happy when I thought about Roxy because she’s a great friend, and I thought I only drew her so much because I just thought she was aesthetically pleasing, and I thought… oh, brother dear, I don’t know anymore.” 

“Well, were you happy that she kissed you?” 

You hang your head. “I don’t know that either. I was preoccupied with my feet and my elbow and the elevator and parking garage incidents and the ride home. I just wanted to relax and unwind with some tea and maybe a book. And then she went and kissed me.” 

“Your elbow?” 

Oh, right. You haven’t told him about that. In response, you straighten out your sore elbow and show it to Caliborn. The bandage Roxy had wrapped around it is soaked with red blood. You wince involuntarily. 

Caliborn hoists you onto his hip and stands up, carrying you into the bathroom. You’re still holding your mug of hot chocolate. Your brother holds you in an awkward one-handed cradle as he takes your mug from you and sets it down on the small table in the hallway on the way to the bathroom. He deposits you on the toilet seat, just as you do to him when you clean his injuries. 

“How’d you manage this?” Caliborn asks as he unties the bandage and uses a wet cloth to wipe blood off your arm.

“The mall was closing and we couldn’t find an elevator. Long story short, don’t run down four escalators in three-inch heels.” Your shoulders shake slightly with cold, fake laughter. 

Your brother is almost as good as you are when it comes to cleaning wounds. You suppose he must have watched and learned from your example. The thought makes you smile, but you wince once again as Caliborn cleans your elbow with disinfectant. 

“So,” he asks conversationally, as if it’s no big deal, “do you… like like Roxy?” 

You shake your head. “I’ve told you this already, dear. I don’t know. I mean, she’s a lovely person and she makes me quite happy, but I don’t know if it’s a platonic happy or a… more than platonic happy.” 

Caliborn sighs. “You aren’t giving either of us much to work with.” 

“Love, if this was easy, I wouldn’t have to come to you for advice.” You giggle as Caliborn scowls, securing your bandage with medical tape. 

Caliborn cuffs your head gently as he puts the medical paraphernalia back in the cabinet. “I bet the hot chocolate you made me make you is getting cold.”

“I didn’t force you to make it, you wanted to!” 

Caliborn just laughs in reply, carrying you back into your room. In a weak attempt at a protest, you hit his back with your uninjured arm. “I can walk across a hallway, you know.”

Once you’re comfortably seated on your bed, Caliborn hands you your still warm hot chocolate and reassumes his place next to you. Neither of you says anything, but you don’t think you need to. The silence and knowing your brother is beside you is calming enough. 

You almost miss this. The familiar taste of the drink, the tickly residue left on your upper lip by the cream. Feeling your brother’s eyes on you, looking back at him in return. Being open with each other and having normal conversations. But you don’t exactly miss it, because the only time these things happen is when one of you is very upset. 

You hadn’t exactly noticed this because all of your thoughts have been monopolized by Roxy, but everything is much calmer in this new location. Of course, there’s the two fistfights Caliborn got into, but nothing that substantially interrupted the equilibrium. No reasons for these late-night hot chocolate talks. Back at home, there had been at least one every week. Caliborn would get into so many fights with your father. And then both of you got old enough to work and make money.

The person to bring up the concept of moving out was you. It had happened after a particularly bad physical fight between Caliborn and your father. Caliborn was a bloody mess – literally speaking – even after you cleaned his wounds. He didn’t have to ask for anything; within five minutes you had him sitting in your room with a blanket wrapped around him and hot chocolate in hands. You had been so furious that you spoke the idea without thinking. You and Caliborn had talked through the gritty details then, working everything out so it seemed to mesh together. Your laptop was used to look at apartments for sale. And then you found one. 

It was kind of dingy. It was very, very small. It wasn’t exactly close to the city where Caliborn works. The closest train station was over ten minutes away on foot. But it was in your price range. And quite cheap, at that. There would most certainly be enough money left after paying rent every month to buy normal house equipment, and after that even a reasonable amount of money to decorate the place. Caliborn wanted to jump on the offer, and even though you wanted to think things through a bit more, you agreed. 

After that, there wasn’t an awful need for these hot chocolate things. There was the one when you told Caliborn you were gay. The one after that when he told you he was gay. After a year, you moved to Skaia. And here you are now. 

Caliborn interrupts your thoughts. “Are you going to go to Jade’s tomorrow?”

“Oh, bugger it.” You hadn’t thought about that. You’ll either have to face Roxy tomorrow and be humiliated when she confronts you, or stay home and then still be humiliated because you’ll be a coward. “I don’t know.”

“I could be your body guard. If you want.”

You laugh. “No, dear, I’m quite alright. Besides, I don’t think you can go into that shop without getting into a fight.”

He lets out a low “hmph,” but you know Caliborn isn’t angry.

“I do suppose I must go, though. The only thing worse than seeing Roxy again tomorrow at the shop is not seeing her again tomorrow at the shop.” You muse.

Caliborn nods. “There you go again, actually thinking things out logically.”

“You know, Caliborn, the majority of the human population thinks things out logically before acting. You’re just one of the select few that doesn’t.” You point out, earning a scowl in return. 

You fall into a comfortable silence once again. You prefer this type of silence to whatever you and Roxy had at the restaurant. It was awkward, and you felt like you had to say something to break it. Needless to say, most of your attempts had been fruitless. But this you like. Just an understanding silence. You needed this. 

Eventually, you yawn. It must be getting late. Caliborn takes your empty mug out of your hand and stands up. “I’m gonna let you get some sleep, okay?” He asks, almost gently, like he needs to be cautious around you.

You nod sleepily, transforming from a sitting position to lying down. Caliborn lifts the blanket up from under you and tucking you in. You mumble your thanks, already too far gone to form, let alone speak in, complete thoughts.

Caliborn smiles as he turns out the light and stands in your doorway. You can feel his eyes resting on you. “Goodnight, Calliope.” He says. 

You don’t catch the entirety of the sentence. You’ve already drifted off to sleep.


	17. Roxy == > Realize You Screwed Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roxy has never been the smartest person, but it really doesn't take many brain cells to realize just how terribly she's made a fool of herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hot damn I need to stop rushing my chapters. This will probably be an incoherent mess, as I wrote it on the train today. Commuting to New York City really isn't everything it's cracked up to be. Enjoy this nonetheless!

Chapter Seventeen

Roxy == > Realize You Screwed Up

Your name is Roxy Lalonde, and you don’t need to realize you screwed up, thank you very much. Somebody would have to be very, very ignorant to not notice the state of your screwing up. And you really screwed up. Like, a lot.

Goddamn it, you blew all your chances with Calliope. All the chances were blown. All the chances. 

You watch her turn around and run home, too dumbstruck to say anything. Hell, you hadn’t even noticed that you had kissed her! It was just happening, and by then you had been too confused to do anything. And then she was running, and holy shit she doesn’t like you back and what are you supposed to do now.

The answer is kind of obvious, you think. You start trudging up the stairs to your apartment abjectly, holding your phone in your hand but waiting until you get home to call anyone. You’re only half aware of your actions by now, too detached from everything to really care about what you’re doing.

Dirk’s third “what is it” is enough to jolt you back into reality. Huh, you hadn’t even registered calling him. Well, you suppose he’s the way you solve all your problems. Stupid, stupid you. You can’t even handle your own problems. 

“Oh! Heh, sorry, Dirkie. Guess I pocket dialed you.” You say, trying to put your usual enthusiasm into your voice.

A pause on his side of the phone. “… Okay, Roxy, whatever you say. How’d your date with Calliope go?”

“Oh!! Dirk, it was so great you, wouldn’t believe it! I didn’t, uh, do anything romantical with her, but we went shopping and to the bookstore and then we ate at a fancy restaurant and it was fantabulous!” Gushing. You’re good at that normally. So you really hope Dirk thinks this isn’t faked.

“Uh huh. Listen, Roxy, can we talk about this tomorrow when I see you again? I’m in the middle of packing.” Dirk says, and then he puts his hand over the receiver and shouts something, presumably instructions for Dave.

“Sure! See ya tomorrow, Dirk!” This fake pep is getting more than a tad obnoxious. You wonder how anyone can put up with you, like, seriously. It makes you cringe.

“Bye, Roxy. Goodnight.”

And then you hang up. You’re left alone again, the silence of everything eating away at you. It’s already June, shouldn’t there be some animals playing outside? You’re nearly certain there should be. 

You breathe out slowly. You can handle this. You, Roxy Lalonde, are going to handle your own problems, like the totes badass person you are. 

 

Oh yeah, I’m handling my own problems super well right now, aren’t I? You think to yourself, over an hour since you got home, while you pull your brownies out of the oven. 

You throw a halfhearted glance over your shoulder. The clock on your wall reads one in the morning. So you’re baking pity brownies at one in the morning. Nice. 

There are people that have a knack for baking. Sadly, you do not fit into the category of those people. This is why you have, like, ten boxes of Betty Crocker desert mix in your cabinets. They’ve been there for almost two years now, untouched and collecting dust. You decided that, since you’re breaking all the walls down and drowning in old, repressed memories, why don’t you open one of the boxes? 

Damn, you haven’t had anything Betty Crocker since Jane died. The corporation, of course, had delivered free deserts to her funeral. Jane had been the heiress of the entire company, after all. You hadn’t eaten any, though. It was just a market ploy. Sure enough, within a weekend there had been six reports by six different news companies talking about how generous the company is and how sorry they are about Jane’s “unfortunate passing.”

You still remember when you bought all these brownie and cake mix boxes. Jane had been with you, and you had made a big show about buying twenty two – all the boxes the grocery store had – boxes of cake and brownie box. You must’ve used about half before closing up the cupboard for good. 

I’m so good at handling emotions, you think sarcastically as you sit at the table, stabbing a steaming hot shitty brownie with a fork. Solving girl problems with more girl problems. 

Your fork makes a loud screeching noise as it scrapes across the plate. This jerks you out of your train of thought, and you find a mush of brownie smeared across your plate. Brown stuff that you think is supposed to be chocolate chips oozes off the edge of the plate, splattering on the table and the floor. With a swear, you grab a paper towel and wipe up the whole mess. 

The rest of your night passes just as uneventfully. You don’t get any sleep, needless to say, and spend the entire night on your laptop, surfing through the internet. It really is surprising, the amount of time wasting websites that exist on the internet. But ultimately, you up watching cat videos on YouTube at three in the morning. 

The sun rises. It streams through your window – oops, you never closed the curtains – and ends up nearly blinding you. Damn, it must be morning already. So much for sleep. 

The fact that it’s morning and your grumbling stomach pull you out of bed and into the kitchen. It smells like undercooked brownies and disappointment. You take to scrubbing up last night’s mess as the birds begin to sing. It’s nice to not be woken up by them, for once. Their songs start out pretty but turn wretched as you scrub caked-on brownie batter off the floor, sleep deprived and cranky. 

You probably should’ve planned this better. Now you have to fly to London right after an all-nighter on top of jet lag. You really, really should’ve slept. 

Well, so much for that.

At around seven, you begin to wonder if you should bother going to Jade’s today or not. There’s no way in hell Calliope’s going to be there. At eight, you decide you may as well. It would be nice to see Jade, and perhaps she won’t be awfully busy and you can tell her all about yesterday’s good-turned-terrible shenanigans. By nine, you’re all dressed and ready to leave for the yogurt place, but you want to wait until the usual time. 

You busy yourself by reorganizing your suitcase. It’s so conveniently placed right by your door, looking all neat and orderly. It’s not. All your clothes are half-heartedly thrown inside of it, probably in little wrinkled piles. You’re almost certain you forgot something, anyway. So you take everything out, fold it up nicely, and put it back into your suitcase. Y’know, you’re kinda proud of yourself. 

You leave your apartment at a quarter after twelve, giving yourself enough time to take as long as you need to get to Jade’s. You’re expecting a relaxing time, maybe a talk with Jade, and some hella frozen yogurt. 

Oh, you were so very, very wrong.


	18. Calliope ==> Abscond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Calliope really, really does not want to go to Jade's today.  
> But the only thing worse than going would be not going.  
> Right?

Chapter Eighteen

Calliope == > Abscond

Your name is Calliope, but you aren’t absconding yet. Oh no, that comes later, perhaps much later. Right now, you’re sleeping.

You can feel warm hands gently shaking you awake. “Calliope? Calliope, it’s time to wake up.” It’s Caliborn. 

“Don’ wanna get up.” You mumble, cracking your eyes open just a slit. Your brother’s face shifts blurrily, in and out of focus. 

“Didn’t you want to go to Jade’s today? It’s already eleven.”

You prop yourself up on your elbows, suddenly much more awake than you had been a minute ago. “Already eleven? Caliborn, you should’ve woken me up earlier!” You push yourself out of bed.

“When was the last time you got a full night’s sleep?” Caliborn says, handing you a cup of tea. He has a point. 

You take the tea and sip it on the way to the kitchen. A plate of toast already lies on the table. Caliborn must have made it for you. “You know, you don’t have to baby me.” You say, taking a bite anyway. 

“Come on, I can’t take care of my own sister? Besides, you baby me all the damn time. I can at least be nice to you until you go off to certain death.” Caliborn says, taking a swig from his own cup of coffee. 

You pale at his last sentence. Right, you’re going to see Roxy again. And that means dealing with… whatever the heck happened last night. Yikes. 

Your brother must notice your hesitation. “Calliope, you don’t have to go to Jade’s today if you don’t want to. You aren’t under some sort of obligation, and Roxy’s basically just an asshole.”

You shake your head. “I’d be a coward if I didn’t go. Besides, she – Roxy – might not even be there, so I might as well show my face.”

Caliborn shrugs. “Do whatever makes you want to, I’ll be here waiting for you when you come running home.”

And so you do what feels right. It doesn’t necessarily make you happy, but it makes you feel like you’re doing the civil thing, so you suppose that’s a plus. Almost as soon as you leave the house, though, your heart starts beating so fast you can hear it. You take deep breaths the entire way to Jade’s to no avail. You’re still beyond nervous. 

“Hey, Calliope, you’re here early!” Jade says as you enter. Her smile isn’t faked like yours is.

Oh, right. You’re over an hour early for your normal meeting time. Oh well. “Yeah, I wanted to get here a little early.”

Jade gives you one of those _I-can-see-right-through-you-don’t-even-try_ looks. “What’s wrong?”

You bite your lip uncertainly before launching into the short version of what happened yesterday. Jade nods throughout your monologue. Luckily, the shop is rather empty today, so there aren’t many pauses for her to ring up a customer. 

“She kissed you?” 

_That’s what I just said._ “Yeah. I mean, yes.” Good job, Calliope. Way to stay formal. Wow, you are terrible at social situations.

Jade goes through the same questions Caliborn asked you. How did you feel, did you want her to kiss you, would you want to kiss her. Each time, you answer that you don’t know. Your feelings for Roxy are honestly just so muddled up by now, you have no clue what you’re feeling when you’re around her. 

The hour of earliness ends way too early for your liking, and you find yourself in your normal spot, nervously stirring a thirty minute old cup of yogurt that’s been nearly reduced to soup. 

You’re so nervous. Holy crap, you can see her rounding the corner. Roxy’s nearing the shop, oh no, oh no. Jade pats your shoulder gently in between customers. 

The bell by the door jingles. Roxy enters the shop. She proceeds directly to the yogurt machines, gets her yogurt, and pays for it. Her exchange with Jade doesn’t come as normally as it usually does; you can tell she’s nervous. Roxy’s hands are kind of shaking as she goes to sit down next to you. 

She speaks first because you don’t even try to make a conversation attempt. “So… _yesterday.”_

You fold your hands.

“I’m not going to apologize for it.” 

This makes you raise your eyebrow. You don’t want to get into an argument, especially not with Roxy, but you’re nervous and kind of angry, if you must be honest. And your family is, after all, known to have famous tempers. 

You’re not going to argue, you won’t argue. 

“You could’ve at least asked me, Roxy.” Your voice is calm and collected. 

“Jeez, well, sorry, Callie! You don’t have ta attack me about it!” Roxy says. 

But you’re not attacking her! And this time you mean you actually aren’t. You’re talking very nicely and calmly and she’s blowing it out of proportion. You don’t even know where she got the idea that you’re attacking her. All you’ve done is talk to her nicely! Caliborn was right, you shouldn’t have gone to Jade’s today.

“Roxy, I’m not attacking you, please calm down.” Measured breaths, Calliope. Don’t get angry. You are not angry.

“Ugh, all I did was kiss you and now you’re getting all defensive!”

“Roxy! You’re yelling!” Okay, now your voice is beginning to raise. 

Jade hurries over to the two of you, concern and confusion marking her face. She places her hands in between you and Roxy, and you notice that sometime during whatever this is you’ve both stood up. “Roxy! Calliope! How about we all just calm down, okay?”

You must admit, Jade gave it a valiant effort, but you don’t think this is an argument that can be prevented. She must notice this too, because Jade ushers the two of you out of the main room of the shop and into the hallway between her desk and a room with a sign you can’t read.

“Okay, I’m going to let the two of you… battle it out, or whatever. Just not in front of the customers. And don’t hurt each other. I know that you’re angry, but you’re not Dirk and Caliborn. Also, think before you say anything stupid.” Jade looks at both of you with pleading eyes before backing away and into the near empty shop once again.

“God dammit, Calliope, you are so completely blind!” Roxy says angrily. You haven’t the foggiest what she’s getting at.

“Then help me understand!” You argue back.

“I don’t know what I did wrong! I mean, we went to the mall, we shopped, we did everything you wanted to eat, we went to a damn romantic restaurant for heaven’s sake! And then I kissed you and you acted like you had no idea what was going on!” 

“You could’ve said something, Roxy! It’s better than keeping me in the dark all the time!” 

“You’re right, I could’ve! In fact, I did! And every single time I mentioned something remotely like that you were so damn oblivious! You just took everything as a friendly gesture! Have you ever even tried to flirt? Because I wouldn’t be surprised if you haven’t!” Roxy yells. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t intimidated by her extreme loudness. 

You run your fingers through your hair in exasperation, letting it out of its braid. “Stop making this about me, you’re the one that kissed me!” By now your words are as loud as Roxy’s. Both of you are shouting and arguing at quite a volume.

You can feel sickening, thick anger beginning to course through your veins, something rather familiar to you. So far, you’ve been doing a good job of keeping it below the surface. But Roxy is making it very hard for you to keep your equilibrium in check.

“Oh, that’s the Calliope we all know! You’re so innocent, aren’t you?” 

“Because you never do anything wrong! You’re so… secretive all the time! I swear, ever since I entered this town, it’s like I’m on the outside of some inside joke! Sometimes you just get so quiet and it’s infuriating because nobody ever tells me shit, Roxy! What the hell occurred on the car ride to the mall? Maybe if you just tell me something for once, I could be more understanding!” You say, letting your argument ramble on and on and on… 

“Talk about polar opposite of Jane,” Roxy spits, icicles dripping from her words. You don’t even know what she’s talking about.

“See, Roxy? I don’t even know who Jane is! You know what, never mind. If I say anything, you’ll just get all quiet again.”

“Agh, you’re just being difficult! If you hadn’t gotten so worked up about that damn kiss, we wouldn’t have even had this argument! I don’t even see how it’s such a big deal!”

“If you don’t see how it’s such a big deal, then why are you yelling at me? And why did you even kiss me in the first place?!” Your throat is close to hurting, and it will if you continue shouting like this. 

Roxy lets out an exasperated, choked breath. She looks down at the floor, furrowing her eyebrows. And then she looks at you again. Her eyes are swimming with unidentifiable emotions, so many that you don’t know what they are. 

“ _BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!”_

Your mouth dangles open. You shut it, stunned into silence. Roxy strides forward so quickly you almost don’t see her move, and this time you know exactly what she’s going to do before she does it.

What happens next happens so fast, but it feels like it lasts forever. 

Roxy grabs your chin and tilts it upwards, and, in something simultaneously like a second and an eternity, she brings your lips together. And just like that, you’re kissing. This time you’re ready for the initial shock, even welcoming it. You feel like someone lit your entire body on fire, but you don’t think being lit on fire feels this good. Roxy lets go of your jaw, as if checking that you aren’t going to push her away. You don’t think you have enough willpower to push her away. It’s quite hard to think things through when every single part of your body feels like spontaneously combusting. 

You think you’re feeling what utter bliss feels like, right here and right now. Yes, this is happiness. Right here in Roxy’s embrace. And then it ends too soon. 

Roxy pulls away abruptly. She sends you one last look, her eyes shimmering with what looks like tears, and then she runs out of the shop and down the street. 

You just stand there. Frozen. 

Okay. _Now_ you abscond.


	19. Calliope ==> Be Shocked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your name is Calliope, and what in the world just happened?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh this is so late I'm sorry :P  
> But yes I'm still (planning on) updating weekly!

Chapter Nineteen

Calliope == > Be Shocked 

It takes a while for you to come to your senses, but when you do, there’s panic building in every bit of your body. It seems to be telling you to run, to just get the hell out of the shop and go home. You can’t think of a better thing to do at this point. People have fight or flight responses for reasons, right?

So you take off. Jade holds a hand out to stop you as you run past her, but she must notice that there’s no way you’re going to slow down. You know there’s no point in going after Roxy, so you run all the way to your apartment. 

Caliborn is on his laptop when you come home. He looks up jumpily as you slam the door open for the second time in two days. “Calliope? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” 

He stands abruptly and starts to go after you as you run into your room, slamming your door shut behind you and collapsing into a numb heap against it. You try to convince yourself that you don’t feel anything, you can’t feel anything. But you do. You feel all of the feelings. All of them.

“Calliope, what the hell? Let me in!” 

“No!” you manage to choke out. Your throat is close to closed up with unshed tears that you don’t allow to pour forth. 

Caliborn hesitates. “Alright, fine. You sure you don’t want to talk about it?”

“I’m positive,” you say miserably. You can hear Caliborn’s footsteps getting further away from your door and as he sits down on the couch.

Without any feeling, you miserably slump over to your bed. Tears are freely tracking their ways down your face, splattering onto your legs. Occasionally, your throat causes you to make a strange, high-pitched choking noise that keeps you from sobbing.

Okay, Calliope. It’s time to do something productive with your little pity party that you’ve got going on. You have to do something. 

When you were little, you used to make blanket forts when you wanted to hide from everything in the world. You were a little perfectionist, so you would spend more time making the fort than you would staying inside of it, but it had been fun nonetheless. The forts would never last long, anyway. Your father liked order. He hated things like beds unmade and floors covered with blankets, and so he would yell at you for making your forts until you took them down.

But now you’re an adult, and that means you can make your own damn forts without anyone giving you any trouble for it. 

You make the heck out of that fort. You pull all the chairs and boxes in your room into piles and drape a huge green blanket over them all. Hardcover books from your bookshelf keep the corners in place on the chairs and the top shelf of your bookshelf. You spend at least fifteen minutes pulling separate corners just the right amount to get the fort to be perfect, even though you know there’s no way to get it exactly correct. Once the outer structure pleases you, you enter the fort, armed to the teeth with blankets and pillows. 

Ecstatic with your fortress, you have to take a few minutes to admire your handiwork. It spans across what can easily be called half of your room, starting at the top of your bookshelf and ending with the excess blanket tethered underneath your mattress. 

Caliborn knocks on the door shortly after you enter your fort. “Calliope? You’ve been in there for over an hour.”

Your voice is rough and scratchy when it comes out; you aren’t used to speaking. “I’m quite alright, dear, you needn’t worry about me.” 

Once again, Caliborn hesitates. He’s not used to being a caretaker, you suppose. You know that he’s genuinely concerned for you, he just isn’t the best at showing it, and especially not when he has to. But at least Caliborn’s trying. 

“Well, too bad.” He says decisively, placing a firm hand on your doorknob and opening the door. His footsteps, full of bravado, falter at the sight of your blanket fortress.

You stick your head out from the blanket. “Yes?”

“What did you do?” Caliborn asks, but then shakes his head and holds a green mug out to you. “I made you tea.”

“Thank you.” You take the cup with both hands and pull it back under the blankets and into your fort. 

Caliborn awkwardly sways on his feet outside your fort as you take a sip of your tea. You’ve always made better tea, but it isn’t exactly bad. “Would you like to come in?”

Your brother accepts your offer, and you lift up a part of the blanket for him to get in. Caliborn takes the blanket and clumsily enters the fort. His huge build makes it difficult for him to get in with agility, but he gets in nonetheless. Caliborn looks around.

“Well… you’ve certainly got a nice setup in here.” He decides on saying, looking around. 

You take another sip of your tea. “Thank you. I feel like shit.” 

Caliborn appears to be slightly taken aback. You almost never swear, the badmouthed twin was almost always Caliborn. But then again, you have sworn occasionally when you get worked up. It’s not like you don’t know any swears. You spend almost all of your time around Caliborn, after all. 

It takes Caliborn a while to recover from that. “Do you want anything?”

You offer your brother a small, weak smile. “I’d kind of like to be left alone right now, love.”

Caliborn takes the hint – at last! – and exits your fort. You’re left in the solitude you had desired. The quiet, empty solitude. Strangely, it isn’t very comforting. You finish your tea and leave the empty cup just outside your fort, in case Caliborn comes to check on you again or if you feel like taking it into the kitchen. 

You pull your computer onto your laptop, losing yourself in television shows and social networking websites, not looking at the time. When your laptop dies, you plug it into your charger and open a book. Sometimes Caliborn comes in to say hello and bring you food, which you’re guessing must be meals or snacks. 

Not like anything actually matters. You’re so preoccupied with Roxy and forgetting about her that you barely have the time or energy to think about anything else. You already knew sleep was to be crossed off the list of possible things to do. Your mind is spinning at a thousand miles an hour, there’s no way you’d be able to shut it off. 

Caliborn seems to get more and more concerned about your condition, so you try to act more normal for him. You exit your fort sometimes, walking around the house and saying hello to Caliborn and cooking meals (because, face it, the two of you would’ve died of food poisoning if Caliborn continued to cook).

Sleep still doesn’t come, though. On the nights when you try hard enough, you can get an hour or two. But you always wake up more tired than you had went to sleep. Your dreams all focus on Roxy, nightmares or dreams that started out happy but ended up becoming twisted nightmares anyway. 

Roxy doesn’t call. Not that you had wanted her to; you’re just noting that she hasn’t. You walked past Jade’s shop on a day that you had been feeling miserable but also kind of hopeful, only to find the entire shop on a two-week vacation. A flyer taped to the door declares this. Well, you suppose that Jade deserves a vacation, being that she runs the whole shop single handedly.

It takes you a few days to get your schedule back on track, doing normal human things and getting on with your life. You spend the most time you ever remember spending on your art, making quite a lot of progress. Within a week, Caliborn stops seeming scared for your health. The black circles under your eyes are easy to conceal with enough makeup. 

Still, you don’t think you can get Roxy off your mind.

Which doesn’t make any sense. She’s just a friend, that’s all she is. This whole kissing thing, she kissed you because she wanted to. Not because you wanted to kiss her. 

But if you didn’t want to kiss her, why did the kiss make you feel so… wonderful?

Ugh. You’re going to need some tea.


	20. Roxy ==> Board the Plane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roxy is stressed. Dirk is stressed. most of this is davekat banter lmao

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting this chapter a bit early because my school starts tomorrow and I won't have time to edit a chapter. So enjoy!!

Chapter Twenty

Roxy == > Board the Plane 

Your name is Roxy Lalonde, and wow do you feel like shit. 

You’ve just arrived at your apartment after a very … emotional meeting with Calliope. One where you kind of got into an argument, confessed your love for her, and then proceeded to kiss her. And then you ran away, and left her, crying in Jade’s Frozen Yogurt.

Oh yeah, and your plane takes off in about two hours. 

Ouch. Yeah, you’re in some deep shit.

But you don’t have time to think about that. You open the door to your apartment, grab your suitcase, and once again head out the door. The walk to the airport is about forty-five minutes long. There was no way you’d pay for two weeks’ worth of parking, so you’ll have to make do with the long walk. 

Airports are the singular worst place on the entire planet. They’re boring, full of hurrying people, and they smell like a mixture of sweat and new car. Not to mention all of the damn confusion. But that’s okay. In just seven hours, you’ll be with Dave and Dirk on the way to London. Just seven short hours.

If only the hours passed by quickly. You know there is no way in hell you’re going to enjoy them. 

Sure enough, the next seven hours are agonizingly slow. Just getting on the plane is an extremely long process, and then there is the actual flying part. Add that to the two annoying stops even before the one with Dirk and Dave. 

Thankfully, you survive long enough to make it into Maine. From Texas, Dirk and Dave flew to Maine, where they’ll be boarding a nonstop flight with you to London. A roundabout way of flying? Yes. A hella cheap way of flying? Also yes.

You run like hell off that plane and into the airport, fueled only by the thought of reuniting with your cousins. They’re sitting on one of the shitty benches that are always cold and always cramped with people.

“Hey, Dirk!” You yell, waving your arms like mad. 

Dirk looks up from where he sits, shaking his head at something Dave or his boyfriend must’ve said. “Roxy? Oh, hey!” 

You bound over to the bench, your luggage trailing behind. “Dirk! Dave!” You ruffle Dave’s hair, earning a glare masked by sunglasses as he fixes his hair back to its original glory. “Wow, kid, you grew so much! You aren’t hella short anymore!” 

Dave flips you off as you take a seat next to Dirk, but you know he doesn’t mean it. He’s probably as excited to see you as you are to see him, not that he’ll say anything. These Striders and their masked emotions. They’re as mature as three year olds. 

“Well, aren’t ya gonna introduce me ta whoever ya got over here?” You ask, gesturing to the boy with the messy dark hair sitting next to Dave. 

Dave flushes slightly. “Oh, this is Karkat. My, uh, ‘plus one’.” 

“Plus one? Is that what you call your goddamn boyfriend, crotchsniffer?” Dave swats Karkat’s arm. Dirk sends you an amused look as if to say ‘told you so,’ and you smile back at him.

“Hey, Karkat, do I know you or something?” 

Karkat gives you an ‘are you crazy’ look. His eyebrows are furrowed, but they seem to have been furrowed since the start of this conversation. 

“Oh, I know! You’re that guy that got into a fistfight with Calliope’s brother at the frozen yogurt shop that one time!” You declare triumphantly. Dirk turns his head at the mention of Calliope’s name, but says nothing. 

Karkat seems to think for a second. “Fistfight? Been in plenty of those. Frozen yogurt shop, though, that’s new. Hmm. Oh yeah, that asshole. Why the hell does it matter?” 

“Another fistfight, Karkat, really? When were you going to tell me about that one?” Dave asks, placing a concerned hand on Karkat’s knee. 

“You aren’t my dad, you know.” Karkat grumbles, flicking Dave’s hand away, but Dave doesn’t move. 

Dave smirks. “That’s not what you said last night.” 

Karkat’s face turns bright red, and he sends Dave a look that could most certainly kill. Dave just laughs. Dirk’s lips, previously pulled into a tight line, curve into a smirk, and you have to bite the inside of your cheek to keep from laughing. 

“Anyway,” Karkat declares with a pointed look at Dave, “That guy was an asshole and he deserved it.” 

Their conversation drifts into a new direction and you don’t really care enough to pursue it, so you turn away from it, focusing your attention on all the people in front of you. They hurry here and there, running to get baggage or to board the next flight. There’s still another hour or so until your flight takes off, which gives you more than enough time to just sit at this bench and do nothing. 

== > be Dirk

Your name is Dirk Strider, and you’re more jumpy than you’d like to admit. You absentmindedly bounce your leg up and down on the cold airport floor. Roxy hasn’t paid any attention to you yet, and for that you’re grateful. She’d be able to tell that something’s bothering you, and you aren’t exactly ready to talk about that just yet. 

It probably won’t even happen, right?

What are the odds that he’ll go to the wedding? You don’t exactly know, but you’re certain they aren’t very high. Besides, there’s a chance he didn’t even get the letter. Right. He probably didn’t get the letter. 

You exhale slowly, trying to comfort your nerves. 

There’s no way Jake’s going to go to the damn wedding. At all. With or without you.

So there’s no point in worrying about it.

“How’ve ya been, Dirk?” Roxy asks. Apparently she’s decide to turn her attention to you.

You shrug. “I’m okay. Yourself?” 

Roxy’s shoulders droop and she looks at the ground dejectedly. “I screwed things up bigtime.”

“With who? Calliope?”

She nods, seemingly reluctant to go on. You’ll have to push for details. 

“Well? What happened?” 

“I kinda… kissed her after we got back from the mall. And then we got into an argument earlier today that was all my fault and then I said I loved her and then I kissed her and she was crying and I ran out and holy shit was that a bad move or what?” Her words come out in a messy rush that you only understand because you’ve known Roxy for years.

“Roxy, calm down. It’ll be fine, okay? Just relax, we can sort through it once we get home.” 

Roxy doesn’t say anything for a while, just concentrates on the white tile floor of the airport. When she does speak, her words are mumbled. “Oh god, I really really screwed up this time.”

You just give her hand a small, awkward pat. After that, neither of you speak for a while. Dave and Karkat seem to be bickering about something, but they’re always bickering, so you don’t say anything. Roxy, however, seems to be listening intently and barely containing her laughter. 

Dave stands up rather awkwardly a few minutes later, looking absolutely nothing like the cool kid you raised him to be. He’s actually blushing as he whispers something to Karkat, who laughs and stands up beside him.

“We’re… um… going to McDonald’s… do you guys want anything?”

 

You pass, but Roxy nods. She tosses a square of plastic at Dave – dear Lord, you don’t even want to know why the hell she would carry those around with her – and laughs as Karkat’s face reddens. “I want you two to practice safety.” 

She earns herself four middle fingers pointed her way as Dave and Karkat retreat in the direction of the food court. You laugh. “That was genius, Roxy. How did you already figure out what buttons to push?”

Roxy looks at you like you have three heads. Then she bursts out laughing. “Are you that blind? Holy shit, it was so obvious!” 

You look at her quizzically, then rub your temples in agitation. “You mean… they’re…?” 

She nods. 

You groan. “In a… public bathroom?”

“I recommend not entering the men’s room in this establishment.” Roxy’s nearly lost herself in a fit of giggles. 

It takes her over five minutes to calm down. When she does, your grimace almost sends her back over the edge. “Wow, Dirk, I had no idea you were so oblivious! They could be going at five feet away from your face and you wouldn’t even notice!” 

“Gee, cousin, what a lovely mental image I am receiving.” You wince. 

Sure enough, Roxy was right. Dave and Karkat eventually return, breathless and flustered, to their seats. You notice they’re lazily holding hands. Freaking adorable. Couple of the year award.

You wonder if you could get run over by an airplane if you stood in the middle of the runway. 

“Dave, your shirt’s on backwards.” Roxy laughs, and Dave curses under his breath as he tries to fix it without taking the shirt off. You really don’t know why he just doesn’t take it off, but you think if you knew, you would probably throw up.

“Did you assholes even get us food?”

Karkat shakes his head. “Go get it yourself, fatass.”

The stewardess then comes over the intercom and announces the boarding of your flight. Thank the lord, you were actually beginning to contemplate walking through the Atlantic to get to London. Alone, if you had to. 

Boarding the plane is, of course, hectic as hell, but it beats dealing with your brother and his boyfriend. Roxy gets the seat next to you – you insist on getting the window, because there is no way in hell you’re sitting next to Dave and Karkat – and the other two of your party are seated in the other aisle, next to Roxy. 

When Roxy leans back, listening to music, you catch a glimpse of Dave and Karkat. Karkat’s head is resting on your brother’s shoulder, and Dave’s head is on top of his. They’re sleeping. With their fingers intertwined. The only reason you aren’t damn retching over this is because you have common courtesy. You’re sure that the other people on the plane would not appreciate the smell of your hurl. 

Roxy smiles. “I can feel the hatred radiating off of you, but I think they’re cute.” 

You make a disapproving noise in the back of your throat. “It’s disgusting. They’re so in love. I don’t even feel like I know Dave anymore, he’s so… focused on feelings? Gross.”

“Hate to break it to ya, honey, but you were the same way.”

“Really? I refuse to believe it.” You scrunch up your nose. 

Roxy shoves you into the plane’s wall, but if it’s a half-assed shove. You stick your tongue out at her. She mumbles something about going the hell to sleep. When you don’t move, she snuggles into her seat and dozes off to sleep. Roxy’s curled up like a damn cat; you wonder if that’s even comfortable. 

You’re now the only one of your party still awake. Dave and Karkat are disturbingly looking very in love while they sleep, and even if they’re disgusting, Roxy’s right. They’re freaking adorable. Even Roxy looks calmer in sleep. Her eyebrows aren’t drawn together nervously like they were when she spoke about Calliope, and her eyes aren’t hopeless looking like they are when she thinks about Jane. She’s peaceful. 

Only now do allow yourself to be content. Yeah, that’s how you feel – content. Happy, even. You maneuver Roxy so she isn’t twisted at the weirdest angles at which to be twisted, and then you lean your head on the plane’s wall. And you drift off to sleep. Contently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with this we bid farewell to any tangible plot line this fanfiction could have


	21. Calliope ==> Go For A Bike Ride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bike rides are supposed to be peaceful, aren't they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thinking about changing the update day to monday?? lmao im still unsure but have this anyway

Chapter Twenty One

Calliope == > Go For A Bike Ride

Your name is Calliope, and you’re beginning to get cabin fever being cramped up in this apartment.

It’s been a week, you think – yes, a week – since the whole fiasco at Jade’s Frozen Yogurt, and you’ve spent every single day inside. Drawing and painting and scrolling through social media and anything to get your mind off Roxy.

You doubt it’s healthy to be doing this, but at least you barely have any time to think about anything that isn’t art. You like it this way. No emotions attached. Just you, the pen, and the paper. The way it should be. 

“Caliborn, I’m going out!” You call out in the general direction of your brother’s room. 

Caliborn pauses whatever game he’s playing. “Where are you going?”

“Biking. The park or something, maybe. I’ll be back in time for lunch, don’t worry.” 

“Alright. Be careful.” He resumes the video game and screams something into his headset. 

You give him a thumbs up. “Will do.” 

Your bicycle is tethered to the bicycle rack, next to seven others that are nearly just like it. Everything seems to be just the same in this city. As you mount your green and white bike, you wonder if anything you ever do could be original. 

You decide to head to the park, like you told Caliborn. You already know the route by heart, so you don’t need to devote much time to figuring out where exactly it is you’re going. Apparently at least half the town has decided to go to the park as well. So you circle around the entire thing, over a mile around. There isn’t one place where you can be completely alone, not one place where you can be free from the prying eyes of everyone else. 

What you had thought while you got on your bike comes back to you. Can you be original? You’re always wanted to fit in with everyone you knew when you were younger, but you had still always been different. Maybe, now that it doesn’t matter, you’re finally just plain normal. Making the same decisions as everyone else. 

A stupid thought, maybe. Maybe all your thoughts are stupid. You have no clue. You have no clue about anything, and frankly, it freaking sucks. 

So you leave the park. You aren’t even exactly sure of where you’re going until you’re almost there. The water tower, of course. Nobody else will be there. 

From what you’ve gathered (and from what Roxy told you) when the water tower was built, a baseball field was built at the bottom of the hill it stood on. A huge flood came about twenty years ago and swamped the entire place. After that, the field was abandoned and sports teams played at the park. Trees grew all around the hill, leaving just some pit of mud completely enclosed by trees. Now the only people that actually go there are drunk teenagers who want to hang out where they won’t get in trouble. 

It’s still morning, so nobody’s there when you arrive. Perfect. 

Your bike glides smoothly down the damp grass of the hill, and you circle around the field – or what’s left of it – a few times. Pieces of glass jut out at random spots, and you pay careful attention to them so you don’t die or something. 

Gradually, your mind wanders back to the concept of originality. You fret over every small detail, picking apart everything you think about and comparing it to what other people talk about. And you discover that you aren’t quite original at all. 

You don’t notice you’re falling until you’re falling, and by then it’s too late. Your bike must’ve hit some glass and flipped over. Yes, that’s most likely what happened. You wonder when you’ll hit the ground, because you feel like you’ve been falling forever. 

The impact of your body on the ground is hard, and it sends pain shooting up every vein in your body. You would cry out, but the wind is knocked out of you. A few seconds pass before you register a crushing weight on your legs. Your bike. 

You’re trapped. Your bike is holding you down, and even if it wasn’t, you don’t think you have the strength to push yourself up. Not to mention getting yourself home.

Home. Oh, dear, Caliborn’s going to kill you. You should call him. If the bike wasn’t in the way, you could reach into your back pocket and retrieve the phone, but you can’t. As you move your arm, you can feel something hot and sticky on it. 

Normally you would know what that feeling is – the feeling of blood making its way down your hand – but you’re delirious and your head is pounding. Your eyes widen at the sight of the gash on your inner forearm and the dark blood pouring out of it faster than you thought was possible. 

You press down on the cut with your other hand to try and stop the bleeding. It ends up only making everything worse. Okay, you’ll need to grab your purse and get to your first aid equipment. Your hand that isn’t bleeding goes up to your shoulder to grab it, and – it’s not there. Did you not bring it with you? You must’ve forgotten. 

Oh, dear. 

You don’t know what to do now. You can’t get up. Yelling would be a waste of your voice, there isn’t anybody within a mile radius of you. Your head throbs, you probably hit it during your fall. There’s a pool of blood being created by your arm is enough to make you feel sick. You aren’t stupid, you know that you’re going to pass out from blood loss eventually. 

Sure enough, you soon become lightheaded. Oh, this is probably it. You’re going to die, aren’t you? Caliborn might come looking for you, but it will most certainly take him a while. By the time any medical attention can be reached, you’ll probably be dead. He’ll have to tell Jade and Roxy. 

Roxy. 

You really blew it with her, didn’t you? The last time you saw her, you fought. A pointless fight, really. There were so many ways that you could’ve fixed it. You shouldn’t have yelled at her. You should have said something to her after she kissed you. After all, you had felt something when she kissed you. You had tried to deny it, to not let yourself think about it. 

But perhaps you do love her. Like she loves you. 

You should’ve told her.


	22. Caliborn ==> Search For Calliope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is super late lmao

Chapter Twenty Two  
Caliborn == > Search For Calliope

Your name is Caliborn, and you’re beginning to worry. Calliope left home over two hours ago, and you haven’t heard anything from her. You’ve called her phone seven times. No responses. And she’s the one who usually calls you seven times while she’s out doing something. If she doesn’t call, she always picks up her phone. 

She’s never ignored your calls like this. Is she even ignoring them? Maybe she’s doing it on purpose. But maybe she’s hurt. Or dead. Fuck, she could be dead.

You should have gone with her to make sure she was okay. Calliope hasn’t been exactly mentally stable recently. Damn, you knew this! Why did you leave her on her own?

There’s only one thing left to do, you decide as hour three approaches. You’re going to have to look for her. You grab your phone and the keys and take off, jumping onto your bike and taking off down the road. 

Where would Calliope have gone?

The first choice is kind of obvious – the park. That’s where most people go. When you arrive, there are masses of people all running or biking about as fast as you are, and it’s impossible to move anywhere, much less find a specific person. 

Okay, you’re getting nowhere. Calliope probably isn’t here, anyway. So you make two more trips around it just to make sure before pulling back on to the main road. Next destination – the lake. The lake is ridiculously out of your way, over a mile from the park. The only way to get there is by navigating your way through thousands of backroads that are beyond confusing. 

You get lost at least ten times, which results in your loud cursing, which in turn gets plenty of glares from suburban mothers playing with their children. Not that you care. These children are going to have to learn curse words eventually. Besides, they live in the goddamn city! Did these people honestly not expect their children to be exposed to the “f-word”?

When you finally do arrive at the lake, nobody’s there. Great. You went so far out of your way to find her, and nothing. Back on the road. 

At least the day is somewhat nice. If you weren’t close to pulling your hair out from nerves, you would enjoy it. Once you find Calliope, maybe you’ll even continue to bike ride. If you find her. 

Of course you’re going to find her, don’t be ridiculous. 

Maybe she’s at the water tower. It only makes sense, she probably wanted to be alone. Yeah. Calliope’s gonna be just fine, and she’s gonna be waiting for you at the water tower.

You continue to repeat the mantra to yourself as you make your way to the water tower. Not that you will ever tell anybody that. You don’t need to convince yourself of anything. Because you’re a badass. 

The water tower is empty when you first pull into the road. Calliope’s probably going to be riding around in the fields. Normally it takes you a while to get up the steep-ass hills to the field, but the adrenaline coursing through your veins powers you up and over them in mere minutes. 

“Calliope!” You call, cupping your hands around your mouth to amplify your voice. Sure enough, if you squint you can see a green mass in the corner, near the trees. 

“Calliope! Oh, hell, I was so worried!” You say as you approach her, but she doesn’t respond. She doesn’t move. And the bike seems to be awfully low. 

The scene comes into view. Calliope’s lying on the ground. Her bangs are matted to her forehead, stained red. The rest of her hair is mostly crusted in the same substance, and now that you look at it, so is her shirt. One of her arms is bent at a grotesque angle. You don’t know much about human anatomy, but you do know that arms are not supposed to bend like that. There’s a cut on the upper inside of the same arm, one that’s big and bleeding everywhere. The ground around Calliope’s arm is stained red with her blood. Holy shit. 

Oh, crap. This is so bad. Oh, hell, oh hell, oh hell. 

What the bloody shit are you supposed to do now? You dismount your bike, tossing it to the side, and pull out your phone. You may be completely and totally unskilled at things like this, but at least you know to call 911. 

“911, what is your emergency?” The lady on the other line speaks in a monotonous, bored tone, like she gets these emergency calls all the time – which, you guess, she does. That doesn’t stop you from getting annoyed at her, though. This is a real emergency here, and she’s freaking bored.

Okay. You have to calm down. Calliope would be calm for you. You take a deep breath. “My sister was bike riding and she fell and now she’s unconscious and she’s bleeding really badly.”

“How long ago did she fall?”

“I – I don’t know. I just found her now but she’s in a puddle of her own blood and I don’t know what to do.”

The other line is silent for a few seconds. Then the operator asks you where you are. You answer all her questions as well as you can, which apparently still isn’t enough for her, because she occasionally makes noises of annoyance when you can’t answer a question. She sends the ambulances or whatever you send for a biking accident. You thank her and hang up. 

Calliope still hasn’t moved. She’s breathing, at least, albeit barely. You took off your shirt and tied it around her arm in a tourniquet per instruction of the operator. And now you just have to wait. 

You’ve never exactly been good at waiting. Calliope was always the good one, the reserved one, the one who could wait patiently for hours if the situation called for it without complaint. But you? No, you were terrible. You threw tantrums, yelling and shouting and kicking when you had to wait in a line for too long. Calliope would always have to be the one who calmed you down, more for your own safety than anything else. 

And now she’s lying. On the ground. In a pile of her own blood. 

Hot damn, are you so totally screwed or what.


	23. Reception == Commence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose and Kanaya’s wedding reception, aka most things go to hell but some things are okay-ish sorta

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SORRY THIS IS SO LATE AAAAA  
> i was trying to come up with excuses but i don't really have any oops   
> also the editing is probably bad as I've been at it for like two hours lol  
> this is really long and it switches points of view really quickly and if you squint there's probably like 8593027 pairings oops okay bye

Chapter Twenty Three

Reception == > Commence 

 

Your name is Roxy Lalonde, and you are finally in London! Well, you actually got here a few days ago. But right now is when it actually matters! Everything has been leading up to this exact moment, and holy heck are you excited!

That’s right – it’s Rose’s wedding reception! 

Okay, so maybe it isn’t her wedding reception yet, since you still have to drive all the way to the hotel and check in and then chill out in the room for a few hours, but still. The ceremony is over. 

And, you must say, the ceremony was the most graceful shit you have ever seen. It was held in the prettiest, grandest church you have ever seen, and it was all traditional and shit. Rose and Kanaya were both looking hella in these super gorgeous white gowns that Kanaya designed herself. Everyone cried, especially during the vows. You’re pretty sure they were meaningful but you couldn’t really tell. Both the brides used the most pretentious vocabulary you have ever heard and you only understood like five words.

The reception, though, will be so much better. Because the ceremony was planned by Rose and Kanaya themselves. The proper Rose and Kanaya, the traditional brides that wanted everything to be absolutely perfect and reserved and calm. How boring, if anyone were to ask you. The unfortunate thing is that nobody did ask you. 

But the reception was planned entirely by you! 

Well, you had some help from Kanaya’s older sister, Porrim. But that doesn’t really count because Porrim was actually just super cool with whatever you wanted to do. She added some of her own things, of course, but she was mostly out of the way. She chose the venue and the DJ and all that stuff, and mostly let you decorate the place.

It’s gonna be so awesome!

“Roxy,” Rose begins, “how are we getting to the hotel?”

You just smile at her.

“Roxy. What did you do?” 

Making a halo shape above your head, you shrug. “It should be here any second, trust me.” 

“‘It’ better be a limo.” Rose sighs, rubbing her temple. She thinks you screwed this up, but, in fact, you did the opposite of that.

“Roxy!” Dirk exclaims from the other side of the church lawn. “The party bus is here!” 

You grin at him while Rose turns to look at you, her mouth dropping open in terror. “I’m riding to my wedding reception in a party bus?” 

“Oh, come on, Rose! It’ll be fun! Besides, it’s only to the hotel. Then you’ll have time to chill and stuff before the actual, you know, party.” 

Rose rolls her eyes. 

Kanaya choses that time to walk over to the two of you. “Can I ask why there’s a party bus waiting over there?” She asks. 

You think she can infer what’s happening from Rose’s face of disbelief and your mad grin. “Did you rent a party bus to bring us to the reception?” 

“You betcha!” You exclaim. 

In a few minutes, though, you’re all situated on the swaggiest bus around. The only people on the party bus are you, Rose, Kanaya, and Porrim, Kanaya’s sister. You’re the maid of honor (which basically means that you are so totally better at rock paper scissors than Porrim), and she’s just a normal bridesmaid. Your sister and her new bride – that is so weird, your sister is married now – are holding hands and acting all cutesy. You would normally be gagging just about now, but since they just got married, you have to let it go. 

When they aren’t looking, though, you send a Snapchat to Dirk of you making a face at them. 

Porrim has picked up excited conversation with Kanaya, probably something about fashion or whatever they like to do. So you turn your attention toward Rose, who seems to be happily gazing out the window, like she’s in a dream. You don’t think you’ve ever seen her this romantic and stuff. 

“Are ya excited for the reception, Rosey?” You ask. 

Rose turns her head around to face you and arches a perfectly-shaped eyebrow in amusement. “‘Excited’ isn’t the best word for it. Perhaps you were looking for the phrase more than slightly scared.”

You fake a pout. “Aww, come on, Rose. You trust me, don’t you? What could I possibly do that would mess up your beautiful reception?”

The corners of Rose’s lips, painted black like any other day, curve into a smile. “Many things, Roxy. Many, many things.” 

“It won’t be that bad. It’s so totally cool! You’re gonna be so amazed!” 

“I’m sure I will be.” She pats your knee all sophisticated-like. 

It takes three excruciating hours of Rose and Kanaya kissing, but at long last you arrive at the hotel. Everyone gets out of the party bus and then you have to wait in the longest line of party guests to check in to the hotel, which takes another eternity. But then you’re all checked in and everything and you can relax in you hotel room for a while! 

The next three hours, needless to say, are absolutely excruciating. But then, finally, it’s time to take the trolley down to the venue. You get there extra early so you can greet people and stuff, even though you have no goddamn clue who most of these people are. 

Rose waits outside with you, explaining who everyone is. She strikes up conversation with a few people, but it gets boring pretty quickly when you don’t know anybody.  
You depart from your sister to find your totally less boring cousins. Dirk is nowhere to be seen, but Dave is standing next to Karkat, who is currently involved in a conversation with Kanaya. Huh. You guess they really hit it off or something. 

“Karkat, dear, it’s excellent to see you again.” Kanaya is saying, gushing in her own proper way.

Karkat’s eyebrows are furrowed, but he doesn’t make any objections when Kanaya pulls him into a hug. Damn. They must’ve been some hella good friends. 

“Wait, you two know each other?” You ask, pointing out the obvious. 

Kanaya pulls out of the hug to answer you, and you barely notice the hint of a smile on Karkat’s face as he lets go of her. “Yes, we were rather good friends back in our high school days.” 

“London, though, really? I mean, you had said you wanted to move far away. But a city like London? How cliché. I’m disappointed in you, Kanaya.” Karkat seems to have regained his signature scowl. 

“Cliché, yes. But I did meet the love of my life here.” Kanaya smiles wistfully in Rose’s direction. 

You fake gag. “Ew, gross! Jeez, Kanaya! This is a non-PDA zone!” 

“They got married not even a day ago.” Dave says. 

“Still.” 

Conversation takes forever to die down, but thankfully it happens eventually. Then you usher everyone into the hotel room, passing unoccupied rooms on your way to the ballroom. Here it comes! You spread your arms wide as you let people enter, showing off your grand decorating. 

The ballroom has been decorated with balloons and dance lights and some other things that you don’t know the name but look really cool, all colored white and black. Apparently Kanaya and Rose liked the idea of a black and white wedding, but you’ll never know why. It’s so bland and strange, but that’s what they wanted, you guess. Circular tables with alternating black and white tablecloths are sprinkled on one side of the room, the dance floor on the other side. 

You had set up name tags at all the tables to make sure everyone was accounted for. Everybody takes their seats, making idle small talk that sounds mostly boring. Nobody’s said anything at your table yet, though. Everybody’s looking around at the decorations while you and Porrim share smiles. 

“I must say, you two did an excellent job with the decorations.” Kanaya admits in the reserved voice she normally has. 

Porrim smiles. “I’m glad you like them.”

“And you thought we were gonna flub this!” You jab your finger in Rose’s direction. She laughs again. It’s not even a sarcastic laugh. What has Kanaya done to your sister?

Karkat groans. “When are we gonna get some damn food?” 

“It’s nice to see you again, too, Karkat.” Kanaya comments, laughing gently. 

Porrim folds her hands on the table, taking a sip of her wine. “Yes, Karkat, how is that dear brother of yours? I haven’t heard from him in ages.”

Karkat makes a very loud gagging noise. The people seated at the tables near you turn to look at him. “Kankri’s just as difficult as ever.” He whines. “I don’t see much of him anymore, though. He travels with Dad a lot.” His eyes are downcast and he takes a sip of water. 

“We have to wait for everyone to get here before we eat,” Dave says, brushing Karkat’s fingers with his own. Karkat blushes and scowls, but looks up at your cousin in a silent thanks for diverting attention from him. 

It’s another half hour or so before the menus are brought out, which means it takes forever and a day for everyone to finish their meal. You’re already bouncing up and down in your seat, waiting for it to be time to dance. Kanaya and Rose have been holding hands like all day, even while they eat. Karkat complains, Dave makes inappropriate jokes that make Karkat blush harder, but they actually do seem to get along. Kanaya and Karkat talk quite a bit about their past to the table, and you find it be very eventful but also very sad. 

Dirk, the seventh and last person at your table, is quiet the entire time, making occasional one-word responses when he’s asked questions. Rose scrutinizes his every move, probably trying to read him. She’s good at that, reading people like open books. But she can’t seem to crack Dirk. Rose must be off her game today. 

Finally, everyone eats and the food is put away and it’s time to dance! Everything that happened today has taken forever and a day to finish up. You just want to get to the next activity. But this is pretty much it. The dance will take hours to end, and after it ends the wedding is pretty much over. The cake cutting is slotted to happen in an hour or so, but other than that everything is going to be dancing!

You had such high expectations for this wedding, and so far everything is going according to plan! 

Oh, though, if only you knew how everything would go to hell after this. 

Dirk == > search for Jake 

Your name is Dirk Strider, and you are nervous as hell. 

You shouldn’t be, but you are. 

Jake might be here. Jake might be right in this room at this wedding reception. He could be less than twenty feet away from you at any given second. He might be right behind you. You know it isn’t plausible that he’s directly behind you, but you keep casting looks over your shoulder just in case. Damn, you’re getting paranoid. You need to calm down. 

At dinner, you keep craning your neck to try and search for any sign of him, but it proves to be futile. The only thing you get is disappointment, a cold burger, and a younger cousin on your trail. You swear, Rose can smell emotional imbalance. And she will track you down. The only reason she hasn’t already broken everything you’re feeling down is because she’s a bit sidetracked with the whole marriage thing. 

Now it’s time to dance, and you find a chair as far away from the dance floor as possible. You aren’t in the mood for dancing in the slightest, and it’s easier to see everyone from your position in the far left corner, by the door. Not like you’re looking for anyone in particular. You just want to observe everything. 

Seven insufferable songs pass, and still nothing. Your fingernails are digging into the fabric of your pants anxiously, and you find yourself absentmindedly tapping your foot to the beat of the music. The eight song fades out and yet another slow song comes on. 

The single people move off the dance floor, making room for the couples to dance all happily or whatever the hell. It’s sickening to think that Dave and Karkat are among those happy couples. Dave’s your tiny brother, he isn’t supposed to be dancing with anyone, especially not romantically. 

You shake your head to clear those thoughts and go back to people watching. 

And that’s when you spot him. 

He’s dressed in a black pressed suit, too uncomfortable looking to be something he actually owns. When he turns, you can see his tie. It’s bright green, the same striking color as his eyes. His dark, usually unruly hair is slicked back and has a bit of a wave to it. You’ve never seen him do anything to it except for letting it do whatever the hell it wanted. Why has he decided to go all formal today? 

The man seems to notice you at the same time you notice him. 

His eyes widen like an anime schoolgirl – you need to think up some better analogies, what the actual fuck was that - when you make eye contact. But regardless, you find yourself grateful for your shades, for yours get even bigger. 

Jake is here. 

You thought you would have been mature enough to handle this. When you wrote that letter, you don’t know what you were expecting, but it certainly wasn’t this. It most definitely was not the panic that seizes you upon laying your eyes on Jake, the panic that squeezes and pulls you through something that resembles the cardboard core of a paper towel roll. Your vision blurs and you need to get out.

Apparently you are not mature enough to deal with this. 

So get up off your chair and you run. Out of the ballroom and into the hallway, into a room. The entire hallway is full of rooms, recreation rooms and arcades and supply closets, but no hotel rooms. Strange. You choose the last door in the hallway. It leads to a small room with painted brown walls and a cold looking tile floor. The only thing in the room is a run-down metal table with paint chipping off of it. You pull yourself onto the table and crawl into the corner, wrapping your arms around your legs. 

You shouldn’t have invited Jake to the wedding. It was a stupid, naïve move to make. You only did it because you were sleep deprived and you weren’t yourself and just getting the letter from Jade was enough to throw you into emotional overdrive. You shouldn’t have mailed the letter right away. You should’ve waited and went to sleep and then read it over. Then you could have decided if it was a good idea to send it or not. You would’ve decided not to, and then everything would have been fine. 

But that doesn’t matter now, does it? Because now Jake is here and you’ve created this whole mess for yourself and you have to fix it. If you can build up the courage to even leave this room before the entire wedding ends. Staying here to wait the whole thing out seems like a good idea just about now. You think you’ll just do that. That sounds good. 

There’s a knock on the door. You freeze. 

“Dirk?” a voice asks from outside the door. 

Just the thought of it makes your chest squeeze up again, but in a good way. Like there was a hole in your chest and that voice just filled it. You shake your head and curse yourself silently for even allowing the thought to cross your mind. 

You say nothing. 

The door opens. Jake steps into the room and you hold your breath, grateful that turning on the light wasn’t a thought process that occurred in your panicked mind. Sure enough, Jake flicks the lights on. 

You don’t say anything. Neither does he. The two of you just stay there, Jake standing and you sitting with your legs drawn up to your chest and your head resting on your knees, shielding your face from the sight of him. 

“Dirk.” Jake says again after a pause that is too long but at the same time not long enough. 

You look up at him. “Jake.” Your voice was planned to be perfectly level, emotionless. But it sounds chocked and forced and about as empty as you feel right now.

“You wrote me.”

“I did.”

“If you don’t mind my asking, how did you even get my address?” Jake’s voice is almost accusatory. You furrow your eyebrows. If there’s anyone that should be mad, it’s you.

“Ask your cousin.”

Jake nods. Another pause. “Well, did you want to see me for anything?”

You mumble something unintelligible to even yourself and clear your throat. “I just wanted to see you again.” 

“Right. About that.”

“About what? The whole asshole leaving thing?” 

He nods again. “I can explain.”

You laugh. It’s a hollow noise, vacant of all emotions. “Better be one hell of an explanation, I can tell you that right now.” 

 

Dave == > dance with Karkat 

Your name is Dave Strider, and you’re actually having fun at this wedding. Of course, you’ll never say anything. But you don’t remember ever being this happy. 

You’re dancing with Karkat. Usually he doesn’t want to do these things in public. But you didn’t even have to drag him onto the dance. He actually got down on one knee and asked you dance all formally. You accepted, but couldn’t help laughing at how red his face was. 

And that’s how you got here, swaying gently to some shitty slow song. You stopped caring about who was watching you a few songs ago, because nobody probably gives a crap about you and Karkat. There’s a chance that either Dirk or Roxy is filming you, but you don’t need to think about that now, do you?

Karkat’s head is leaning on your shoulder, even though he has to stand on his tiptoes to reach that high. “I didn’t know you knew Kanaya.” You say. 

“Yeah, well, you never told me Rose was getting married to her.”

“I literally called her Kanaya.”

“How the fuck was I supposed to know you meant Kanaya Maryam?” 

You look down at him. “Karkat, how many people have the name Kanaya?” 

He scowls. 

“How did you know her, anyway?” You ask.

Karkat shrugs. “We were really close childhood friends. I don’t know what happened after that. I mean, I guess you lose touch with someone when most of your other childhood friends are dead.” 

“Dead? No offense, Karkat, but what the fuck?” 

He buries his head farther into your neck, and you can feel his eyebrows furrowing. “I don’t wanna talk about it, okay?” Karkat mumbles the words, and you can feel the movements of his lips as he hesitantly speaks.

You nod. “Come on and dance with me, asshole.” 

And you do. You stay mostly in the same place, near the edge of the dance floor and away from prying eyes, but you like it. You think this day, right now, is seriously in the running for Best Day Ever. Karkat keeps his head on your shoulder, occasionally drawing lazy patterns on your back with a finger or two. You want to live here forever. Just like this.

“I love you,” You tell Karkat, stating it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. 

“I love you, too,” Karkat responds, looking up and pressing his lips to yours gingerly. 

 

You had been wrong before. This is the best moment ever. You would live here forever if you could. Not even ironically, you actually mean it. Of all your kisses with Karkat, this is the best one, you think. It isn’t hurried, or frantic, or charged with hundreds of different emotions. It’s slow and gentle and the only thing you’re thinking is holy crap, I love him. 

A loud crashing noise is what breaks your kiss. You jerk your head to the source of the noise, startled. It’s Dirk. He’s currently tripping over his chair in an effort to abscond from the ballroom. You wonder what the hell happened to make him do that. 

Oh, fucking hell.

The goddamn letter to Jake. The one you read in his room. He must’ve rewritten it and actually sent it. And if he’s reacting like this, that can only mean that Jake is here. Right now. And Dirk found him. 

“Listen, Karkat, I’ve gotta go.” You say frantically, stepping away from him.

“No way in hell, asshole.” Karkat pulls you by the lapels of your suit and presses his lips to yours, his hands wrapping around your back. 

At first you’re taken aback, but then you melt back into Karkat’s hold. He presses rough kisses to your lips, one after another. You want to tell him to slow the hell down, you’ll be in the hotel room soon enough, but you enjoy too much for your own good. For a few seconds, you forget about Bro entirely, but you are thankfully able to come back to your senses. 

“Something’s wrong with Bro, I gotta go.” You manage to get the words out between the quick kisses Karkat presses to your lips. 

Karkat’s eyebrows knit together and he steps back for a second, though his hands stay wrapped around your wrists. “Come on, Dave, you promised this, you asshat.” 

“I know, and we’ll have a whole week together after this, but I have to go.” You say, your apology written in your eyes.

He holds your gaze for a second, then drops his eyes to the floor. “This was supposed to be our moment, Dave! None of that fucking hiding or talking in different languages so my damn brother couldn’t hear us! You promised me this goddamn dancing.” 

Karkat’s right, but you have to deal with Jake. If only you had told Karkat about the big brouhaha that happened to your family – and their significant others, you guess – two years ago. You had been too busy tiptoeing around any mention of it. And now you’re about to pull him into the middle of it. You are going to have to give him one hell of an explanation.

“Come with me, then. It won’t take long.”

You grab his wrist without allowing Karkat to respond, dragging him out of the ballroom and into the hallway. Dirk’s already in some room. You’ll have to track him down. 

“What are you doing, shitshelf?” Karkat asks loudly, and you press a finger to his lips. 

“I’m sorry, I mean,” Karkat lowers his voice to a whisper, “what are you doing, shitshelf?” 

You roll your eyes and open the door closest to you. The light isn’t on, and there doesn’t seem to be anybody inside of it. After flicking the light on and peering around, you come to the conclusion that they aren’t there. You check three more rooms, no dice. Karkat has no idea what the hell is going on. He asks a thousand questions as you look, but you don’t pause long enough to answer any of them. 

Finally you come to a room with light peeking through the gaps of the door and the wall. Voices are coming from inside, a Texan twinge and a British accent. That’s them. 

You throw the door open. Jake, Dirk, and Karkat all jump, but you couldn’t care less. 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” You yell at Jake.

He puts his hands up, like he’s signaling surrender. “What? I have no goddy idea what you’re talking about, Dave!” 

“Don’t give me that shit, Jake! You know exactly what I’m talking about!” 

Dirk looks up from where he’s sitting, on the corner of the table with his head resting on his knees. He jumps off it and takes a step forward, hesitantly trying to move between you and Jake. “Dave…” he says, and you can’t even detect what emotion he’s attempting to convey. 

You glare daggers at your brother, switching the object of your wrath. “You’re not allowed to say anything either, Dirk! The only reason I’m the one doing this is because you’re just a little lovesick puppy! Don’t you dare try to defend this – this asshole!” 

Jake looks confused at what you’re saying, and you can’t believe he has no idea what you’re talking about. Does he seriously think that he’s the innocent one here? Apparently he does, judging by how he asks you what you mean. 

“Oh yes, I wonder why I’m so fucking pissed! Maybe because you and Dirk were supposed to be married, and then you went and goddamn took off! Tell me, Jake, how is Europe? Do you ever sit back and take in the smell of betrayal and assholery that you now seem to give off?” You shout, vaguely wondering if anybody in the ballroom can hear you. 

“Is this whole thing about Europe?” Jake asks. 

You think your head might blow right off your neck in rage. Unless it already has. You can’t feel anything except for the red-hot rage that pulses through every single one of your veins. 

“This is about you taking off in the middle of the end of everyone’s world! Yeah, Jane died and everyone was all sad or whatever the shit, but you didn’t have to leave Dirk like that! Do you have any idea how shitty everyone was after Jane died? Yes, actually, you do, because you were there. You were helping us get this damn trainwreck of a show back on the road, and then you decided to take off!

“We were all barely making it through with Roxy’s world ending, dealing with her and trying to make her feel better even though we all felt like we were run over by fifty goddamn dump trucks. Then the thing with John and my goddamn world ending turned out to be like double-fucking-duty! Dirk was the singular person that was holding our fucked-up family together, and you were helping him. The two of you were dealing with everything so well, but nope. Because then you went and ruined everything. Of course you did. 

“How’d it go, anyway? Did you just have to say, ‘Sorry Dirk, old chap, I know we’ve been in an extremely dedicated relationship for three years and we’ve been talking about marriage, but I’m having a bit of a crisis, even though I never said anything about it. We’re all a little bit screwed up right now, but I didn’t say anything about my own internal struggle because I’m an assface. So I’m just going to dump you and take off into another fucking continent for a while, and by that I mean more than two entire years, no big deal or anything.’ Did you honestly think that was going to go over well?

“Well, let me tell you something, assburger. It did not freaking go over well. Because if we weren’t already some heartbroken idiots, Dirk was added to the pile of shitfest. The population had now reached three, whoop de doo. You know, I have only seen my dear brother cry once in my life, and we have been through some serious shit. That one goddamn time was after you dumped him. 

“You left him really, really shitty. It was like he was ground through a fucking meat grinder. We all know Dirk’s sleeping hours are like, probably nonexistent, but he didn’t catch a wink of sleep for at least a week after your assholery. I was scared for his health. You can die from lack of sleep. And, you know, forgetting how to make cereal is pretty damn close to sick. 

I don’t think you know how fucking terrifying it is to come home from school wondering if your older brother and legal guardian offed himself while you were gone. I hid the knives and the ropes for a solid month. I thought that if he didn’t off himself, he would just waste away. His eyes were just plain dead. His voice, his expressions. Dead.

“And he still had to deal with a Dave and a Roxy and he ended up making a pretty shitty decision because he was stretched too damn thin. So he was like ‘You know what, let’s go to fucking Texas.’ And that was okay, but now the previously inseparable friends are spread all over the damn planet and they still all feel like shit, except for you, probably. You probably drink baby tears for breakfast.” You yell every single word, making sure you are goddamn heard. 

Yes, it is extremely likely that most of the people in the ballroom can hear you. They probably heard the entire thing. Good. 

When you finish, you can hear a pin drop in the small room. The only sound is the muffled music playing in the ballroom. Everyone gapes at you. You don’t blame them. Even you had no idea that kind of speech could come out of you. 

You’re vaguely aware of Karkat reaching your hand and running his thumb over the back of your palm. You think Dirk breathes out a “wow,” but you aren’t certain. You can hear your blood pounding in your ears. 

Nobody says anything for a while. Finally, you turn around, opening the door once again. “You know, I’m not here to make decisions for you, Dirk. But I don’t think Jake’s worth it anymore. Come on, Karkat.”

Karkat walks you back into the ballroom, where another slow song is playing. The two of you get back into your former position, as if nothing happened since the last song. The tension in your body slowly dissolves, and you’re beginning to relax. 

“You know, you owe me one hell of an explanation.” Karkat says, laughing gently against your chest. 

Isn’t that the phrase of the day.

“I could say the same to you.” 

“A story for a story, then. It’s a date.” 

You place a kiss on Karkat’s head, and he smiles into your neck. “Love you,” Karkat whispers. 

And that’s the moment Rose chooses to walk directly between the two of you. “Make room for Jesus!” She yells as she slides between you. 

You laugh. Yeah, if it wasn’t for Jake, this would be the best day of your entire life.


	24. Caliborn ==> Freak the Hell Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your name is Caliborn, and you have never been this stressed out in your entire life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Early chapter! It's kind of short though, so sorry about that. It was a bitch to edit, but here it is!

Chapter Twenty Four

Caliborn == > Freak the Hell Out 

Your name is Caliborn, and you are already freaking out, thank you very much. 

The ambulance has just arrived. Or, it arrived about five minutes ago, but parked in the water tower’s parking lot. They couldn’t get a truck over all the hills leading down to the field. A group of paramedics had to walk down to you with a stretcher. They lifted Calliope onto it and started wheeling her back over the hills. You follow, holding two bicycles, but end up fumbling with bike locks while trying to lock both bikes to the rusted stand. 

You opt to travel in the ambulance with your sister. The ride to the hospital is extremely nerve-wracking and the only thing you can actually remember is holding onto Calliope’s good hand. It’s so cold, colder than she normally is. She better not be… you know. Dying.

Then, in almost an instant, you’re in the hospital waiting room. You’re not allowed to see Calliope yet. The doctors are doing something with her. You think they told you, but you don’t speak medical stuff and you’re too nervous to process anything, anyway.

Calliope’s bloodied purse is in your lap. You asked to have it because you’re sure Calliope will want some of the stuff inside. If – when, Caliborn, when – she gets out of the hospital. The only thing in there that is both salvageable and worthwhile to you is her phone. It only has five percent battery and the case is stained with blood. God, she lost so much blood. But it’s still her phone. 

After another five insufferable minutes of doing fuck all, you decide that you need to do something. You go through the contacts on your sister’s phone, wondering if there’s anyone you should call to inform them of her accident. 

Roxy’s name is the only thing that sticks out to you. A fresh surge of anger runs through at the sight of it, but you don’t have enough energy to pursue it. You type her number into your phone and figure you should call her. Roxy, of all people. She’s probably the reason this whole thing happened. Calliope was probably moping. 

But Roxy was her friend. More than her friend? Hell, you don’t know anymore. You just press the call button. You get voicemail.

“Uh. Roxy. This is Caliborn. Calliope’s brother. She just got into some sort of freak biking accident and now I’m in the fucking hospital with her. I don’t know what the fuck went on with the two of you. But I think it’s in your best interest to get your goddamn ass down to the hospital right now. Call me the fuck back.” 

More time passes. People around you are crying. Some are screaming. Some are sleeping, or at least look like they’re sleeping. Others are like you. Staring intently at the wall, not moving. You could be dead, for all anybody knows. The only thing making you look alive is occasional glances at the clock. 

You’re practically shaking. You need to let your energy out somehow. A fistfight with someone would sound good about now. The only thing keeping you from starting something is the knowledge that your sister would kill you if you did that. Still, maybe that asshole from the yogurt shop is there. Or maybe that Strider piece of shit.

“Mr. English, the doctors would like to speak with you.” A nurse says, barely looking up from her paperwork. 

A few people look up at you with sorry faces. They think you’re going to be told that Calliope’s dead. But she’s not dead. There’s no way Calliope’s dead. She’s too much of a fighter to succumb to something like falling off a bike. Right?

“Right this way, Mr. English,” the nurse directs you into the hallway and closes the door to the waiting room. 

There’s a group of three doctors waiting for you. Your heart is beating crazily fast. The last time you remember it this fast was in the middle of the fight with Dirk. Can anybody hear it? The sound echoes in your ears, drowning out the sound of the nurse’s high heels clacking on the tile floor. 

“Mr. English, your sister has proved herself quite a fighter.” One of the doctors begins, and the only thing you’re thinking is holy shit they’re going to say she’s dead. 

“But we fear she won’t make it unless we operate on her.” Another doctor says, and you let out an audible sigh of relief. She’s alive. She’s going to be okay. 

The third doctor cuts in, interrupting the other two. “We’re going to operate on her arm, try to stop the bleeding, fix her bones. She should be able to make it through the surgery. It’s nothing serious, but it needs to be done right away.” 

“Why in the hell do you have to operate on her?” Oh, it seems like you’ve found your voice. Finally. 

The doctors are unfazed. “Mr. English, your sister’s arm is severely broken. We need to fix it. It won’t take long, but perhaps it would interest you to go home and get some rest.” 

You shake your head firmly. “I stay here as long as Calliope stays here.” 

The first doctor nods. “The operation is about to be underway.” She turns around, her long hair swishing behind her. The other two follow her out. 

The nurse escorts you back to the waiting room. So Calliope’s getting operated on. You take a deep breath. She’ll make it through that. She’s made it through so much already. Hell, if someone can successfully get two people moved into an apartment in secret without your dad finding out, that person can survive an operation. 

You call Roxy again to pass the time. “Hi. Roxy? It’s Caliborn again. They’re operating on Calliope’s arm. Seriously, where the hell are you? I’m fucking wasting away here. It’s not even that late. Still waiting for a call back.” 

You’re more tired than you ever remember being, but there’s no way you’re going to sleep until you know Calliope is alive and well. It’s like your eyes are glued open, only letting you shut them for blinking. You don’t know if hours or days or years pass. The only thing you know is that time passes. 

Calliope is out of surgery now. They moved her to a bed. She’s sleeping off the sedative. Well, you guess that in a way it was good. At least she’s sleeping. You don’t think she’s gotten more than an hour of sleep at once since the thing with Roxy a week ago. 

You do not remember being this nervous.

A nurse pokes his head in the waiting room. “Mr. English, your sister would like to see you now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is over 50,000 words now??? Wow. It was supposed to be this little one shot thing, and it's grown into... this, lmao. also, i don't think it's going to end anytime soon. Thanks for sticking with me (and whatever this fic is).


	25. Reception ==> Continue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh, i'm sorry, were you expecting an update on calliope's condition  
> here's another wedding filler chapter oops  
> but that doesnt mean it isnt full of drama :))))))))))))))))))

Chapter Twenty Five

Reception == > Continue 

Your name is Rose Lalonde-Maryam – oh, it feels so wonderful to say that – and you’re going to find out what’s wrong with Roxy.

Of course, you haven’t seen her in person in over a year and a half before the wedding, but you can tell that there’s something off about her. Roxy isn’t as… energetic (‘energetic’ is putting it nicely) as she usually is, and sometimes you catch her looking off into the distance like she’s thinking about something.

Dirk seems to know what’s happening, as you catch him comforting her sometimes. He tells her not to worry about “it”, whatever “it” is. Sometimes the “it” is referred to as a “her” which piques your interest even more. When you asked Dirk about it, though, he told you his lips were sealed. You’ll have to crack this case yourself. 

Which is exactly what you plan to do. 

“Hey, Roxy.” You say, pulling up a chair next to your sister. She’s on the sidelines of the dance floor, seated strategically next to the desert table. 

Roxy looks up, puzzled. “Why aren’t you dancing? It’s your wedding, after all.” 

“Am I not allowed to take a break?” You ask, a smile tugging at your lips. 

“Okay, what kind of information do you want from me?” Damn. Roxy’s good at this. Well, she has known you since you were born. She’s experienced in the field of Sarcasm, Being Snarky, and Rose’s Ways of Getting Information.

“Oh, dearest older sister, I would never just use you for information! Who do you take me for?” 

Roxy just arches one of her eyebrows. 

“Okay, fine. What’s been bothering you lately?” 

“Nothing! Why, what makes you ask that?” She responds quickly. Too quickly. Jackpot. 

You grin. “Who is she?”

“Nobody!” 

“Name?”

“Nope!”

“Hobbies?” 

“Nonexistence!”

“Hair color?”

“There is no ‘her!’” 

“Eye color?”

“Oh, Rose, they’re the most beautiful green… shit.”

You’ve cracked her. Victory once again. “Please, tell me more about how nonexistent she is.” 

Roxy looks around. “Not around all these people.”

You lead her out of the ballroom and into the hallway of other rooms. As soon as the door to the ballroom closes, she opens up. 

“So. Her name is Calliope. I made her at Jade’s Frozen Yogurt in May, I think. Yeah, May. She was new to town and I guess I was the first friend she made in Skaia. And then we hit it off? Like she seemed to like me and damn, Rose, she is the cutest of the cuties. Her brother got into a fistfight with Karkat on the day we met. Ever since then, we kind of met at Jade’s place every single day.” Roxy gushes, using elaborate hand gestures the whole time. 

You raise an eyebrow. “Every single day?”

“Yup. That bad. And shush, Rose, I’m telling a story.” Roxy presses her finger to your perfectly painted lips, but you almost don’t mind. Almost. 

“So anyway, we really did meet up every day. And, uh, I noticed I liked her not long after that.” She makes a face. “Not my best day. Dirk ended up coming all the way to Skaia from Texas – driving, no less – because he thought it was that bad. In my defense, though, I wasn’t that bad. He was so totally just overreacti-”

“Dirk drove all the way from Texas?” 

Roxy nods. 

“How was I not informed of any of this?” 

She shrugs, obviously avoiding your question. “The day before I flew in from Skaia, I invited her to go to the mall with me. The mall closest to me, the one an hour away. And I drove.” Roxy buries her head in her hands. “That’s how bad it was. I drove for a whole hour, over a bridge, for this girl. And, don’t get me wrong, we had a grand old time. That’s how I got this dress. And we went to the bookstore. 

“Holy shit, Rose, she was drawing in a sketchbook and I snuck behind her to see what she was drawing. She drew me. I don’t know, I guess I took it the wrong way? But if someone draws a picture of you that’s hella detailed with the sun reflecting perfectly from your body and you’re into them, you think they’re into you, right? Am I being crazy here?

“And everything was completely fine except for this one asshole waitress at the restaurant, who was trying to get us together but also not? Callie drove back from the mall though, because she thought I was a crazy driver, which I am. And then I really screwed everything up.” 

You stop at the end of the hallway and open a door, gesturing for Roxy to go in. “I didn’t even try to do anything, I just –” 

Her story is abruptly cut off by a gasp. Three gasps. 

“You!! What the heck!!” Roxy screeches. You look up, startled. 

Jake English is standing right there, in front of you. Dirk stands next to him. They look like they’re in the middle of a very urgent conversation, judging by the wild hand gestures and the looks they exchange. But didn’t Jake leave Dirk over two years ago?

Jake and Dirk turn, looking just about as startled as you are. 

“Roxy!” Jake greets, “Um, hi.” 

Roxy does something you didn’t exactly expect her to do. “You asshole.” She whispers the words, icicles dripping from every syllable. 

You don’t know what you were expecting her to do. Maybe yell or scream, something loud and vivacious, like her personality. Perhaps that’s why her words seem so much colder and cut so much deeper. 

You sit down on one of the plastic chairs by the wall, your wedding dress pooling around you. 

“I think we all need one big explanation.”

None of them respond. They’re all glaring at each other, sending messages silently with their eyes. Roxy looks hurt, the most hurt you’ve seen her since Jane died. She didn’t expect this at all. She didn’t know about Jake coming. Hell, even you didn’t know. How did he get here? 

Dirk is hard to read. He’s always like this, but especially now. His jaw is clenched, his eyes void of all feeling. It’s a good thing you know him fairly well. He’s scared, you can tell. He doesn’t want Jake to leave him again. Because, after all this time, you guess Dirk still loves him. 

Jake mostly looks confused, and for the life of you, you can’t imagine why. Does he not see the reason everyone’s mad at him? You suppose not. Sometimes you want to take that kid and slap him upside the head. He just isn’t looking at the big picture now. He does that sometimes, focuses on himself and not others. You can’t blame him. Everyone’s like that at times.

“Would anybody like to go first?” 

Nobody wants to go first. They’re too busy sending each other icy glares to speak. You sigh, meeting two angry and one very confused gazes. You really don’t know why Jake is acting innocent about this whole thing, but you choose not to get into the argument. This is Roxy and Dirk’s battle, not yours. 

As much as you love dealing with your older sister’s drama, you have a wedding to get back to. Your wedding. So you’re just going to abscond like an asshole. Sorry, Roxy. At least you’re justified. 

Dave bombards you as soon as you push open the door to the ballroom. “What is it, Dave?” You inquire, a bit annoyed about the distractions from your wedding. 

“I can’t find Karkat!” He sounds awfully stressed out. 

“Don’t get so worked up. I’m sure he’s just off talking to someone, like Kanaya.” You muse. 

Dave shakes his head. “That’s the thing. I’ve been looking for three and a half songs, since you left with Roxy. And I can’t find Kanaya either. Trust me, it’s easy to find her because of her white dress. And one of the groomsmen – bridesmen? – is gone too, I think Karkat mentioned knowing him too. Porrim said she saw them, and they were arguing.” 

You shake your head. “Don’t worry about them so, they’re fine. Kanaya can take care of herself and two others, I’m sure.”

“You seem to be forgetting that at least one of them is a killer in hiding. Seriously, what kind of wedding party involves a former killer?” Dave realizes what he said right after he said it. “Shit, sorry. Not denying the truth, though.”

“Oh, hell. Has Karkat ever killed someone?” 

Dave shakes his head. “Not that I know of, no. But he gets in a lot of bad fistfights.”

“Alright, so we’ve got two former murderers and one skilled fighter in an undisclosed location. And two of them hate one of them, and that one hates at least one of them. Excellent. Now come with me.” You grab Dave’s hand and lead him out of the ballroom once again. It seems like you’ve done enough dancing at your wedding.

“Wait, Kanaya’s killed people?” 

“One person. Years ago. She doesn’t like to talk about it.” 

“So you’re telling me that your wife is a murderer? And you knew this but married her anyway?” 

“Yes, now shush. She’s been able to hide it for years, we don’t need her cover blown now.” 

Dave shakes his head. “You know what, whatever. I have heard far weirder things in this family.” 

The two of you lapse into silence as you check the rooms lining the hallway, finding nothing. You both steer clear of the room occupied by Jake, Dirk, and Roxy, under unspoken agreement to not go in there unless it is absolutely necessary. The only thing you could classify as ‘absolutely necessary’ is a nuclear bomb threat. Dave seems to think the same. 

“I take it you went in there?” You inquire, your voice a whisper. 

Dave makes a pained expression but shakes his head yes. “Screamed at Jake and left.” 

The corner of your mouth curves into a smile. 

“Where in the world could they be?” Dave asks nobody in particular, placing his head in his hands. 

You consider his question. “Well, we’ve checked every room on this floor. Except for… oh, they wouldn’t.” 

“What? What do you mean? Come on, Rose, not all of us are intellectuals here.”

“They’re either outside on the front lawn or in the parking lot.”

Dave makes a noise of disgust. “Do they have to kill people in public?”

“Don’t be frivolous, Dave. They probably aren’t killing each other. If we’re lucky, they aren’t even fighting.”

Dave looks at you and raises his eyebrows. “Have we ever been lucky before?”

“You’re right.”

You check the parking lot first. Of course they aren’t there, why should anything be made easy for you? Dave was right, luck is close to never on your side. They must be on the front lawn of the hotel, out in the open where anybody can see them. Dave hurries in front of you, running to check if they’re on the lawn. You would run with him, if you weren’t wearing fancy wedding high heels. 

“They’re out here!” Dave calls, ushering you outside the door. 

“Kanaya!” You cup your hands over your mouth to make yourself heard. “What are you doing?” 

She points at a tall man in a suit with hair that sticks up in all directions. He seems to be attempting to calm Karkat. You don’t think you’ve seen anybody as close to foaming at the mouth as Karkat is now. Kanaya is standing between them, her hands outstretched. She looks like she’s trying to calm them down. 

“Did you invite him?” 

“I – I’m not sure. What’s his name?” 

“Gamzee Makara,” Kanaya’s voice sounds almost pitying, sorrowful. 

You recognize the name. “Uh, yeah, I think so. Found a picture of you and him and some other kids. You looked happy. I thought he was your friend?” 

Kanaya sends a warning look at Karkat and walks up the slope of the lawn to where you stand. “I was friends with him. Until, say, senior year.”

“Isn’t senior year when you –” You trail off, knowing both the answer to your question and that Kanaya doesn’t want to dwell on the topic. 

“Can somebody tell me whatever the fuck is going on right now?” Dave asks, exasperated. He sits down on the grass. 

You look to Kanaya for an answer. “Gamzee was a good friend of ours, though he was probably closest to Karkat. Then he did some… things, resulting in Karkat flipping his shit and a very big argument that went on for a while.”

“Because that wasn’t vague at all,” Dave responds sarcastically.

“Perhaps you should ask Karkat when he returns from… whatever it is he’s doing. I’m sure he’ll have a better explanation.” 

You reach up and rub small circles on Kanaya’s back. “Would you mind telling us what’s happening now?” 

Your wife casts her gaze to the ground and shakes her head. “They’re arguing about the past actions of Gamzee, as they usually do. We should really stop them, though, I’d prefer to have a bloodshed-free wedding.”

“Welp, regardless of how this thing with Gam-whatever-the-fuck goes, there will still mostly likely be bloodshed.”

Kanaya raises an eyebrow. “Why would that be, Dave?” 

“Brother Dearest had the bright idea of inviting Jake English to your wedding. World War Three has begun in an abandoned supply closet.” He sighs.

Your wife grimaces. “Things are certainly going our way today, aren’t they?” 

Dave stands. “I’m going to pull Karkat out of this before he actually kills someone.” He stands once again, brushing stray dirt off his suit, and walks down the hill to where Karkat and Gamzee stand. 

The two of you that remain lapse into a comfortable silence, watching the stars overhead. Then Kanaya extends her hand, and you place yours in it. “Would you like to dance?” She asks. 

“Would I ever.” Is your response, and she leads you back into the ballroom. 

Your wife smiles as she twirls you around to the music. “You know, this is the best wedding I’ve ever attended.” 

“Yes, it’s simply sublime.” 

You rest your head against Kanaya’s shoulder. Sure, your sister is going through some stuff and there’s the whole Jake catastrophe, but you think this is a wonderful day. The sun is shining and most people – most – are getting along. And now you’re married. Pretty soon you’ll be flying to your island honeymoon with Kanaya. Yes, this is what bliss is. 

 

Dave == > abscond

Your name is once again Dave Strider, and you have had one hell of a day so far. But that won’t stop you. You’re going to collect your boyfriend from whatever the hell he’s doing and then you’re going to go back to dancing. And then you’ll have a week in London with him. Everything is going to start to go according to plan now. 

“Karkat, come on, we’re going back inside.” You announce, wrapping your hand around his wrist. 

Karkat scowls at you. “Go away, Dave. I can handle this myself.” 

“You said that when you got into a fistfight with that girl Roxy’s into’s brother.” You remind him.

“Yeah, well, this is Gamzee we’re talking about.” He admits.

“What do you mean? What are you doing, anyway? Just yelling at him while he spaces out and plays with the grass?” Karkat’s friends are strange. 

He nods. “That’s how things normally are with Gamzee and me.” 

You roll your eyes. “If you’re sure you don’t need me…”

Karkat crosses his arms and raises his eyebrows. “I’m just as fucking old as you are, asshat. I can handle myself.”

You place your fingers under Karkat’s jaw and tilt it upwards, pressing a kiss to his jawline. “You are so much fun to fluster,” you admit as you saunter back into the hotel, leaving Karkat’s face to simmer. He blushes way too easily.

The only thing you can hear while you walk back into the ballroom is the arguing coming from the supply room containing your brother and others. You keep your gaze on the ground to avoid looking at it, so you almost don’t notice the person walking next to you. 

Oh, hell.

There is a list of things you can handle. On that list is dealing with Jake coming to the wedding. On that list is watching Karkat murder somebody and moving to Austria with him to hide his identity. On that list is accidentally starting the end of the world and then dying multiple times trying to save it. You know what isn’t on that list?

Seeing John Egbert again. 

Yet it appears that if there is an omnipotent being watching over and controlling all of humanity, they do not give a shit about your list. Because there he fucking is, walking down the hallway all happily, in a suit that makes him look really fucking hot. You cross your fingers and pray to said omnipotent being that John doesn’t notice and you can just slip back into the ballroom. 

Wow, omnipotent beings fucking hate you today. 

“Dave? Holy shit, is that you?” John says happily, waving to you. 

You hold up your hand in a mock salute. “You bet your asscheeks it is, Egbert.” 

This is okay, isn’t it? You’ve had two years to get over John. Two whole years to erase any thoughts of being attracted to him from your mind. There’s no way you still like him. Besides, you have a boyfriend. And you love Karkat with all your heart (it physically hurt you to think that). So you can’t still have feelings for John. Can you?

John rushes across the hallway and throws his arms around you. At first you don’t hug back, but then you awkwardly place your hands on his back. “Oh, come on, Dave. Bring in the love. This is the most unironic brohug.” 

Yeah, you can still have feelings for John. Your stomach is twisting with… butterflies? Oh hell, this can’t be happening. You love Karkat. 

“It’s good to see you again, John.” You say, but the words probably sound forced as fuck.

“Oh my god, we are going to have the greatest reunion ever. You, me, Jade, and Rose. It’s gonna be magical. Meet me on that fucking dance floor in like five minutes. I’ve gotta pee first.” John gushes, not letting you go until the end of his sentiment. 

You nod dazedly. “You got it. Dance floor.”

“Oh yeah. It’ll be so cool.” John rounds the corner, probably looking for the bathroom. 

You let out a breath. That was unexpected. You can’t go back into the ballroom now that John’s going to look for you. You’ll have to find somewhere to hide until the wedding ends or someone finds you. 

Why the hell did Rose invite him, anyway? A particularly annoying voice in your head informs you that John is, in fact, Rose’s friend too. And unlike you, Rose maintained contact with him. You just stopped answering his calls, figuring you would never see him again. You always figured that if you needed an excuse, you could say that you got a new phone number or something. What a lame goddamn excuse. 

Okay. You have to hide. 

The room closest to you seems nice, the door is opened and the light is off. It’s just a normal hotel room. You wonder if the person occupying it is from the wedding or not. If they aren’t, you wonder how annoyed they must be. 

Careful not to step on anything, you close the door. The light stays off in case someone comes looking for you. There might be somebody in here, you think, and the thought makes the hair on the back of your neck stand on its end. No, there’s no way somebody’s in here. The light was off and the door was opened. Just in case, though, you turn on your phone’s flashlight. 

Nobody’s there. You let out a sigh of relief and head into the bedroom. It’s out of the way of the door, making you harder to find. You don’t want to be found. You sit on the floor at the far side of the bed, scrunching yourself up to make yourself smaller. 

Oh god, how can you still have feelings for John? You thought they would go away eventually, especially once you started dating Karkat. It’s been two years. Does this make you a shitty boyfriend? You aren’t supposed to have a… whatever the fuck it is that you have with John while you’re in love with someone else. This isn’t supposed to be. 

Whatever. You’re just going to wait today out and everything should be back to normal again. You’re not going to leave Karkat for John. Not when he left. 

Something big, soft, and warm rubs on the back of your neck. You jump up with an exclamation of “Jesus fuck!” 

Whatever it was that rubbed up against you falls off the bed and into your arms. Only it seems to think that 240 pounds of dog can fit into your hands. It would be wrong. At least the potential murderer turned out to be Jade’s huge, dopey dog, Bec. You must have intruded into her hotel room.

“Hi, Bec,” you murmur softly, running your fingers through the dog’s thick coat. 

He’s even bigger than the last time you saw him, if that’s possible. Jade got him when she was five, back when you all lived in the same neighborhood. Bec (what five year old names their dog Becquerel, honestly) had just been a small puppy then. And then he got bigger. And bigger. Shit was like Clifford the Big Red Dog. Except Bec is white and he isn’t the size of a house. 

You find yourself spending more time petting Bec than actually worrying about John and Karkat. Damn, fucking dog must be magical or some shit. He even lays down on the floor like a pillow and then lets you sleep on him. Well, you hadn’t intended to fall asleep on him. You just kind of… did. 

Who knows how long it’s been when you wake up. Bec is still underneath you like a good pillow. You pat his head absentmindedly, sitting up. He just pants at you, his tongue lolling out of his mouth and drool dripping down onto the floor. Yeah, nice one. 

You can hear something faint, a voice travelling up and down the hallway. The voice sounds familiar. If you hold your breath, you can make out what they’re saying. 

“Dave? Dave! Come on, where the hell are you?” Oh, shit. It’s Karkat, and he sounds nervous as fuck. 

You don’t respond. Shit, what if he’s mad at you about the John thing? You hadn’t told him about John, but maybe Dirk did once Karkat noticed you were missing. 

“Dave? What the fuck, this isn’t fucking funny anymore!” Karkat’s getting closer, you can tell.

Even though you just woke up from a nap, you’re too tired to try and hide again. Who cares if Karkat finds you? You just want to go back to bed. You suppose dancing, screaming at Jake, and sifting through emotional constipation is tiring. 

It’s gotten to the point where you can hear footsteps. Karkat pounds on the door to Jade’s hotel. “Jade! You in there? Is my fuckhead boyfriend in there?” 

“I do believe Jade is passed out on one of the chairs in the ballroom.” An unfamiliar, scratchy voice cackles. 

“Well, she locked the damn door.” Karkat says, knocking on it again. “Dave? Are you in there? God fucking dammit, I will skin you alive if you’ve been in there all this time.” 

Once again, you don’t say anything, but you think you probably should. Karkat sounds really nervous, and you could probably use a proper bed and something to eat. So you get up and walk over to the door. 

“I’m here,” you say, so softly that you wonder if Karkat can hear you.

“Holy shit, you asshat, I’ve been looking for you literally everywhere, I cannot believe you, unlock the door this second.” Karkat unloads all his words at once in one long sigh of relief. 

You unlock the door almost hesitantly, and in front of you find a very tired, nervous, and exasperated Karkat. His hair is sticking out in every direction possible, messier than normal. Almost like he’s been running his hands through it in frustration, which he probably has been. 

The breath is knocked out of you by small arms wrapping themselves around your chest. “You fucking asshole,” Karkat breathes into your shirt. “I was so worried. I was so goddamn worried.” 

“What time is it, anyway?” 

“Half past three. You little asshole, you were in there for three hours. I am going to kill you.” Karkat says.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Can we sleep before you kill me, though? I am tired as hell.” You are only barely able to mumble the words. 

Karkat releases you but grabs your hand. He mumbles something about not being able to let you out of his sight for more than five minutes and then practically drags you into the elevator and up to your hotel room. 

You flop onto the bed as soon as you spot it, eyes closed. Karkat moves your limbs out of the way and wiggles in next to you, pulling the covers up to cover the two of you. He curls into your chest and you put your arm around him, pulling him closer, already half asleep. 

The last thing you remember is whispering “I love you” into Karkat’s ear. 

 

== > Be Dirk 

Your name is Dirk Strider, and you have had one hell of a night. You are made entirely of one metric fuckton of tired.

It’s three in the morning. Normally you aren’t this tired at that time, but you do suppose tonight has not been normal. It has been far, far from normal. 

Roxy yawns from her position, which is practically draped over your shoulder. You’re still standing in the run-down supply closet, arguing with Jake. It feels like it’s been years. It’s really only been a few hours. 

“Alright, I’m going to put Roxy to bed.” Your voice is dry and scratchy from yelling and, admittedly, crying. 

“You know where her hotel room is?” Jake asks. 

You shoot him yet another glare. “Roxy and I actually kept in touch.”

He holds his arms up like he surrenders. “I’ll be here.” 

“Nope, you’re coming with us. I can’t trust you just yet, you might try and leave. I’m not exactly done with this conversation.” If you’re only going to see him for one night, you might as well say everything you can, right? 

You maneuver a sleeping Roxy into a cradle hold and leave the supply closet, Jake following. Roxy’s hotel room is on the third floor, near yours. It doesn’t take long to get to the elevators and into her room. You pull the key out of Roxy’s purse, figuring it’s better than not going through her things and not letting her sleep in her own room. 

Once she’s all tucked in and whatever, Jake starts to walk back to the elevator. You beckon him into your hotel room. “We don’t have to go through all the elevator trouble. Besides, a hotel room is comfier than a closet.”

Jake’s eyes widen. “Dirk, I –” 

“Oh my god, Jake. I want to talk to you, not bang you.” 

He doesn’t seem entirely convinced by that, but follows you anyway. 

You sit down on the shitty hotel bed that creaks under your weight. Jake sits down on the spot you pat next to you. Most of the fire you had kindling inside of you has been put out while you took a break from arguing and put Roxy to bed. Only now do you truly realize how goddamn tired you are. 

“So…” you begin, albeit awkwardly. “What do you plan on doing after you finish… what is it? Backpacking Europe?” 

Jake nods. “I dunno. Maybe back to London. We had a ripsnorter of a good time there. What about you, old chap?” 

You shrug. “Back to Texas, I guess. I get good money there. Equius and Nepeta are always nice to have around. Hardworking. Dave’s having a good time there. He’s got Karkat. That was the guy who was with him when he… you know. Said hello.” 

“Was he telling the truth when he said that?” Jake looks away from you and you can barely hear his words. 

You look away as well, even though Jake can’t see you. “I wish I could deny it. Damn, I didn’t think it was that bad. I didn’t think he remembered it like that.” 

“You didn’t even call.” Jake says. 

“You changed your number.” 

“Wow, I was an asshole.” Jake mutters.

You shake your head, turning back to face him. Jake’s looking at his lap, picking at his suit. You place a cautious hand on his knee. “Hey. We were all assholes.”

He looks at you, making eye contact and not moving. Fuck, you missed him. You are so unbelievably screwed. This is exactly what being in too deep is. 

And then Jake does something that surprises even you. “Can I kiss you?” 

Dear lord, you are going to regret all of this. 

You nod. 

And then Jake’s hands are on your jawline and your heart is beating so JITHROG fast and holy shit he’s kissing you. It starts out soft and hesitant, testing boundaries and slowly breaking down walls put up to protect the two of you, but you both know that won’t last long. You’ve missed him for too long and he’s missed you for two long and before you know it you’re going way farther than you had originally thought. 

It’s over too soon but you’re too tired to do anything more. Jake ends up sleeping in your bed with your arms around him. 

 

You are going to regret this so much tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


	26. Roxy ==> Answer the Phone

Chapter Twenty Six

Roxy == > answer the phone 

Your name is Roxy Lalonde, and you wake up to a phone that’s buzzing out of control. 

Rubbing sleep from your eyes, you flick through your missed calls. Seven from the same unknown number. Probably someone drunk dialing the wrong number. You roll your eyes and listen to the seven voicemails they left.

Holy shit. 

Calliope’s in the hospital. She had to get operated on. Biking accident, they said. You feel like a pile of shit. Oh hell, what if she did it because of you? Caliborn says she was calling for you when she was coming to after anesthesia. Shit shit shit. 

With fumbling fingers, you dial Caliborn’s number. He picks up almost immediately. “Well, it took you long enough.” 

“Yeah, yeah, g’afternoon to you too, Caliborn.”

“It’s eight in the morning.” 

“Whatever the fuck. Just tell me what’s goin’ on with Callie.”

Caliborn hesitates for a second. “She’s… okay. Jesus, I don’t know what the hell is wrong with her. Her arm is fine, but she’s acting weird.” 

“Is there anything I can do?”

“You can goddamn show up,” Caliborn yells into the phone. You have to hold it away from your ear. 

Heh. “Sorry, but I, ah… can’t do that right now.” 

“And why the fuck is that?”

“I’m kinda in London for the next week.” 

You hold the phone away from you again to save you from the expletives flowing from Caliborn’s mouth. You hope there aren’t any children close enough to hear him. Knowing Caliborn, though, he probably couldn’t give a shit if he tried. 

Eventually, the other line goes silent. You hold the phone to your ear tentatively. “Are you done yet?”

Caliborn heaves a sigh. “Yes, I’m fucking done. Just get your ass over here as soon as possible.”

“Are you sure she’s okay? I can book a flight back to New York. Here, lemme get my computer. I can get there in a few hours –” You say, pulling your laptop onto your lap and typing in the password. 

“No, do whatever the hell you’re doing in London. Calliope’ll be fine. She’s barely even conscious anyway, and I’m not even entirely sure she wants to see you.” Ouch. Caliborn’s even saltier than usual, then. 

“Look, Caliborn, I’m sorry about that, okay? I didn’t know what I was doing and it was an accident and damn okay –” Caliborn cuts you off again. You roll your eyes. 

“You don’t have to apologize to me. Apologize to her. I’ll see you in a week.” Caliborn ends the call abruptly, leaving you on your bed with your phone in your hand and no idea of what the hell to do. 

He was right, though. Calliope probably doesn’t even want to see you. You made an asshole move, and then you went halfway around the world for two weeks. You just left her there. She hasn’t called, but then again, neither have you. And now she went and got into a biking accident. Shit, this is entirely your fault. 

You have to do something. You can’t just sit here doing nothing for a week. 

A half hour later, you’ve showered, put makeup on, gotten dressed, and pulled up a tab on touristy things to do in London on your phone. You are going to make the most of this vacation and be such a shitty tourist, but you’ll be damned if you’re not going to have fun. Of course, you’ll need a companion to accompany you in your touristy shenanigans. Dirk doesn’t have a choice about going with you, you’ll resort to dragging him if you have to. 

On the way to Dirk’s hotel room, you run into Dave and Karkat. Dave gives you an ironic nod of greeting and Karkat just ignores you, but that’s probably normal for him. 

“You guys doin’ some tourist shit?” You ask.

Dave points his chin at his binoculars and the huge map of London that takes both of his hands to hold. “Ironic tourist shit.” 

Karkat rolls his eyes. “Oh my fucking god.” 

“Come on, you love the tourist aesthetic.” 

You laugh. “A’ight, have fun! Dave, you know where your brother is?” 

Dave’s posture stiffens and Karkat looks up at him almost nervously. “I’d recommend not going in his hotel room unless you want to have nightmares for the rest of your life. Trust me. Let me save someone from making the same mistake I did.” 

“What the fuck? Why? Is he okay?” Now you’re worried. Did Dirk get hurt while you slept, or does he just have a hangover? 

Dave laughs sarcastically, but says nothing. As their elevator arrives, Karkat yells out a “He fucked that other guy from before.” 

“Are you kidding me?” You yell, but the elevator door has already closed. 

Fists clenched and most of the happiness from earlier gone, you stride angrily into Dirk’s room. And he locked the door. Of course he did. You pound on the door with your fists. “Dirk Strider, open this damn door or so help me!” 

No response. You are literally going to kill him, you promise. Well, if he’s still sleeping, you’re not going to stop until you wake him up. Him and Jake. You can’t believe it. Jake just shows up at the wedding and Dirk decides to put the past behind them and now they had sex? 

“Dirk, I am going to kill you! This door! Open it!” 

You’ve probably woken up half the hotel by now, just from pounding on the door. Well, everyone’s slept long enough. The only thing that matters is that Dirk is awake and he has one hell of an explanation to give you. 

It takes a few more minutes of pounding and a hell of a lot of yelling for you to hear something inside. Somebody must be awake, because you can hear them mutter “Shit.” Busted. 

“Open this damn door, I know you’re awake!” 

You can hear fumbling behind the door. Whoever’s awake must be trying to do something. Well, they’re doing an awful job of doing it quietly. 

The door opens. A very disheveled-looking Dirk stands before you, a bedsheet wrapped around him like clothing. “Good morning, Roxy.” He greets you, trying to appear emotionless but there’s a certain degree of happiness radiating off of him that makes you want to puke. 

You point a finger at him. “You. Are in. Such. Deep. Shit.” 

Dirk nods, but he’s freaking smiling. “Yes, I’m aware.”

“What the hell were you thinking?” You grill, utterly repulsed at your cousin. As if he was actually thinking last night. 

He presses his fingers to his temple. “I’m never going to see him again, am I? We were tired, we had no idea what was going on, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.” 

You shake your head. “You are so fucking disgusting.” But you’re laughing. 

“Please.” Dirk answers. “Like you wouldn’t do the exact same thing with Jane? Or Calliope, for that matter?”

Damn him. Your face flushes bright red. “Well, uh, I was going to drag you with me on some tourist activities around here, but it seems like you’re a bit… busy.” 

You start backing up from Dirk’s door, ready to put your memory of whatever just happened into a dark cellar in your brain. But Dirk reaches his hand out to stop you. “If you give me like five minutes to sort myself out, I’ll go with you.” 

“Fine, but make it quick. I’ll be back in my hotel room waiting for your sorry ass.” You walk back into your hotel room, thinking of ways you can erase mental images from your mind forever. 

True to his word, Dirk shows up twenty minutes later – which is a lot longer than just five, but still – fully dressed and all ready to go. He stands in the doorway almost awkwardly. He’s hiding something. 

“Dirk, what’s going o–” 

He smiles at you innocently. Almost too innocently. 

“Oh, hell no, oh my god, you did not.” The words come tumbling out of your mouth in a whisper. 

Dirk just shrugs at you. “Sorry,” he mouths. 

You can’t believe he’s bringing Jake along. You’re going to have to literally kill him. No, both of them. Dirk is why you can’t have good things. Not only will you have to deal with looking at Jake all day, you’re going to have pretend to be diplomatic and not think about how he totally just screwed your cousin last night. Why is this happening. 

“Salutations, Roxy!” Jake enthuses. Yes, this is going to be a long day.

“Hey, Jake.” 

He looks like he’s about to say something more, but turns away instead. You head into the elevator, not waiting for the other two. They catch up with you anyway. 

“So,” Dirk announces overenthusiastically, breaking the awkward silence. “Where’re we going to first, Roxy?” 

“Well, there’s a shitton of museums, and the London Eye, and the Tower of London. But you took so long to get your asses ready for this awesome adventure that now I’m hungry, so we have to get something to eat first.” You announce. 

 

Twenty minutes later, the three of you are seated at a booth in a café in central London. Awkward silence has reigned over you the entire way here, and it doesn’t seem to be giving up the throne anytime soon. Your mind has been searching for distractions, anything to get you to not have to be in the moment. You don’t make much progress, just shitty ideas for spur-of-the-moment decisions. 

Finally you can’t handle any of it. You slam your menu on the table, making the other two jump. “I have something to tell you guys.” You say. 

“And what might that be, Roxy?” Jake asks. Dirk sends you a curious look. 

Well, no going back now. You haven’t even fully decided it, but it seemed like the best thing to do. Besides, it means you won’t have to deal with these losers. “I’m going back to Skaia. As soon as I can.”

“What? Why?” Dirk blurts. 

You run your fingers through your hair anxiously. “Calliope got into a biking accident and she’s in the hospital and Caliborn says she kept calling for me when she was under the anesthetic and it’s all my fault that she fell in the first place and I have to see her.”

“Woah, Roxy, why the hell haven’t you told me this?” Dirk inquires, looking at you pitifully, like you might break. You furrow your eyebrows.

“Who’s Calliope?” Jake asks. 

You answer Jake first, giving him the short version of all the shit that happened with her. As if he deserves anything from you, but you digress. He doesn’t say anything until you’ve finished, but hangs onto your every word. “Wow.” He breathes after you’ve recounted your plights. 

“I didn’t find out until this morning, and I was going to tell you, but then Dave gave me a nice little run-down of what happened last night, and it kind of slipped my mind for a while.” You tell Dirk, smirking at how red their faces get.

Dirk looks at you like you’re crazy. “So you’re just going to run back to Skaia? We still have a week here.” 

You’re about to open your mouth to respond, but Jake interrupts you. 

“No. Go.” He insists. You raise your eyebrows. Why the hell is he so passionate about this? 

“If you think it’s important to her, go. Even if you don’t think it’s important to her, go. All this thinking malarkey puts a wrench in your plans. You’re having a dadblasted good time here, but if she’s important to you, go. Getting there as soon as you can is better than being too much of a coward to do anything.” Jake admits. 

Dirk looks at him but says nothing. You can’t help but grin. That whole thing was an indirect to Dirk, you’re sure of it. 

“Thanks,” you smile, “I think I’m going to book that flight now.”

You gather your things together, wave a goodbye to the boys, and exit the café. This is, without a doubt, one of the most impulsive purchases you’re going to make, but it’s worth it. 

Calliope, here you come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS LATE IM SORRYYY  
> the TACHS is in 18 days and I'm!! kinda stressed about that!! and also NaNoWriMo is soon too aaaaaA  
> But nevermind that lmao here u go
> 
> and also a disclaimer: i've never actually been to london so the list of things that was briefly mentioned is from google sorry for any inaccuracies


	27. Calliope ==> Wake Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your name is Calliope. You've just woken up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my math teacher is ruthless with assigning homework and ITV club ran a bit late today so sorry for the wait~  
> and now, lo and behold, the long-awaited Calliope chapter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
> are you excited I'm excited

Chapter Twenty Seven

Calliope == > wake up

 

Your name is Calliope, and you feel like… nothing. You can barely feel anything at all, in fact. 

When you open your eyes, you’re staring at an unfamiliar ceiling. It’s bright white, just like the rest of the room. The room smells weird, like medicine. You have no idea where you are, but for some reason you couldn’t care less. 

“Miss English, you’re awake.” Somebody says, making you jump.

You lift your head up off the pillow it’s on. The pillow is hard like a brick, and your head swims when you lift it up. Okay. So you shouldn’t do that. You place your head back on the pillow and squeeze your eyes shut to block out the swimmy feeling. 

The person that spoke before leans over you and messes with some things on the side of your bed. They’re wearing a white uniform, like the ones doctors wear on television. You decide they must either be a doctor or they’re wearing a very convincing costume. 

“Can you tell me where I am?” You ask. At least, you think that’s you. You feel kind of detached from everything. Numb. 

The doctor messing with the stuff on your bedside table smiles. “You’re in the hospital, dear.” 

You nod. That makes sense. The smell of this place makes you crinkle your nose. The pillows and the beds are awful. There are doctors. Yes. A hospital. The only question is how did you get here? 

“Miss English, you have a visitor waiting outside. Shall I send him in?” The doctor asks as she finishes up whatever she’s doing. 

“Yeah, go ahead.” 

It’s probably just Caliborn. Or perhaps it’s Roxy. Roxy. Oh, you really hope it’s Roxy. You haven’t seen her for so long! What is it, a week? You think so. You miss her. Just the thought of her makes your insides do this weird lifty-uppy thing. You giggle. It feels weird. 

Somebody you haven’t seen before, probably a nurse, walks in with Caliborn. As soon as he spots you, he sprints towards your bed. The nurse whispers something in his ear, smiles at the two of you, and walks away. You wonder what she said. Are they keeping secrets from you?

“Holy shit, Calliope, you’re okay.” Caliborn breathes a sigh of relief. 

You hold a shaky finger from your arm that hasn’t been bandaged to Caliborn’s lips. “Stop cursing, it’s bad.” The words are all slurred together when they leave your lips. Huh. You should be able to talk normally.

Caliborn laughs, returning your finger back onto the bed. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I’m floating. Weeee.” You say, doing jazz hands for emphasis. 

Caliborn nods hesitantly. “That’s, er, nice.” 

You nod, but it makes you dizzy. Caliborn doesn’t say anything for a while, just stays next to you while you rest your head and try to blink the dizziness away. Caliborn doesn’t seem like he’s very lively today for some reason. You wish he was happier so you could have some fun in this lame hospital bed. 

Maybe another visitor would make it livelier. Oh! You know just who you could call! 

“Caliborn, could you call Roxy?” You slur, feeling around on Caliborn’s arm to try and locate his phone. 

Caliborn pulls his hand away. “Roxy can’t come right now.”

“Why not?” you whine, much like a disappointed child. “Can you call her? Yeah! Call her!” 

Your brother sighs, but takes his phone into his hand and dials Roxy’s number and puts the call on speaker. She picks up almost immediately. 

“Caliborn, what do you want? I’m kinda busy right now, is it important?” Roxy sounds stressed. 

“Roxy!” You exclaim, loud enough to make a few people look at you. 

A pause. “Callie! Oh god, how are you?” The words spill out of her mouth in a rush. They jumble around in your brain as you try to piece them together. 

“I think I’m floating,” you tell her. 

“Painkillers.” Caliborn says into the phone. 

Painkillers. Huh. What a weird word. That must be what’s making you want to float. You make the unconscious decision to say it eight times. Once you’re finished, you redirect the conversation back to Roxy. “Roxyy, when will you come here? I want to see you.” 

Roxy laughs. “I’m at the airport waiting for my plane, Callie. I’ll be there soon.” 

“Yay, Roxy’s coming!” you grab onto Caliborn’s arm, shaking it back and forth. “Roxy’s coming. Roxy’s coming.” 

“Yeah, Callie, I’ll be there soon, okay?” Roxy shuffles with her phone, probably about to hang up. 

You don’t want her to hang up. “No, Roxy, don’t go! I love you!” You reach for the phone, as if holding it will make her not hang up. 

There’s a pause where nobody says anything. Not Caliborn, not Roxy. You wonder why they’re being quiet. 

“What?” Roxy breathes into the phone. 

“I love you!” Your words are jumbled and you don’t think you’re pronouncing them right, but that’s okay. You couldn’t care less, really. 

Caliborn reaches for the phone on your bedside table. “Sorry about this, Roxy. She’s jacked up on all those painkillers.”

You shake your head vehemently. “Don’t think I don’t mean it! I dooo. I’ve loved you for a long time! I should’ve admitted this sooner, wow, it feels really nice to get this off your chest.” 

There’s another silence on both Caliborn and Roxy’s parts. You’re laughing this strange, bubbly laugh. It doesn’t really sound like your laugh but that’s okay. 

“Uh, would you look at that! My plane just arrived! Hah, gotta go!” Roxy lets all the words go in one breath and hangs up. 

Caliborn is staring at you like you’re insane. You don’t see anything wrong with what happened. In fact, you barely remember the start of this conversation. 

“What? Like I would say anything that isn’t true?” You ask. 

Caliborn just shakes his head. “I think you need some sleep. You must be tired.” 

You cross your arms. “I’m not tired. I’m going to wait for Roxy to get here. When is she getting here anyway? I looove her.” 

“She’s in London, Calliope. It’ll take her hours to get here. If you go to sleep, the time will pass faster.” Caliborn assures you, resting his hand on your arm. 

“I will fight you.” You grumble. 

Caliborn laughs. “How much painkiller did they give you?” 

“They di’n’t give me anythin’,” You insist. 

Your brother pats your arm absentmindedly, staying next to you until the nurse has to shoo him out. She asks you if you want to sleep. You inform her that you most certainly cannot sleep because you have to wait for Roxy. She responds by putting something strange into your IV drip. Within five minutes, you’re out cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DID YOU SEE THAT COMING I BET YOU DIDNTTTTTTTTTTTTT


	28. Roxy ==> Board Another Plane

Chapter Twenty Eight

Roxy == > Board another plane 

Your name is Roxy Lalonde, and you are getting hella tired of planes. 

You don’t get to relax until you’re sitting on the plane and it’s taken off. Even then, you can’t really calm down. 

But this is the last plane you’re boarding for a while, at least. You’re going to be home in about five hours. You suppose there are perks to splurging and buying a ticket without stops. You did consider buying a cheaper ticket with stops, but your rich mom is dead and she still has people buying her books, so one airplane ticket won’t hurt. But that’s beside the point here. 

Your head hurts from overthinking about everything. 

For instance, you have a game plan of exactly what you’re going to do as soon as you get out of the airport. You’re going to run the fuck home first without caring how stupid you look. Then you’re going to throw your luggage into your apartment and maybe brush your hair or whatever the shit. After that, you’re hauling ass to the hospital. Even if you have to drive. You have to see Calliope. 

Calliope. You’ve just hung up with her and Caliborn. 

You let out a long exhale. And yet you can’t get her words out of your head. Calliope said she loves you. She said she loves you! 

Of course, she was high as a kite on painkillers. But she still said it. It must’ve meant something, right? Damn, Calliope wouldn’t shut up about it. Unless she wants nothing to do with you. After all, what you did after the mall and at Jade’s was pretty harsh, wasn’t it? 

You realize your head is buried in your hands. You can’t believe yourself. You have to let this go. Besides, there’s only five hours and then you can see her again. Just five hours. You can make it that long. 

Even with your view out the window and the music blaring in your ears, though, you find your mind wandering. It seems like your mind doesn’t want to shut the fuck up. 

Was this even the right idea? You’re on this plane all alone, literal moments from exploding with nerves. It was a rash decision, buying this ticket. You didn’t have time to think it out or rationalize or anything. But then again, you never think anything out. 

If you thought things out you wouldn’t be here. You might be still at that café with Dirk and Jake talking this very issue out, something that might’ve been useful. And then you’d be on this plane in a week with Dirk, Dave, and Karkat. You wouldn’t be all alone. 

No, even that isn’t right. If you had truly thought this out, you wouldn’t be in this fucking mess in the first place! You wouldn’t have kissed Calliope after the fucking mall date-but-not-date. You wouldn’t have gotten into a fight with her at Jade’s Frozen Yogurt. You wouldn’t have run off without telling her you were leaving. 

Thinking things out isn’t your forte, it seems. And what a mess not thinking has gotten you into. 

You find yourself looking out through the window, gazing up at where the sun is and there isn’t a cloud in sight because you’re above them. And for some reason, you’re laughing softly to yourself. 

“Look at how ridiculous I’m being, Jane. Wow, I’m a dumbass.” You murmur. 

And then you freeze. You’re talking to her. Again. You don’t think you’ve spoken to her in at least six months. It’s because you’re being selfish. You’ve been so focused on Calliope that you haven’t been reflecting on Jane much, have you? 

Maybe you shouldn’t have whatever it is you have with Calliope. You love Jane, don’t you? Loving them both at the same time would just hurt Calliope. You should end it. Whatever it is. Damn, even you don’t know anymore. 

A sharp pain shakes you out of your thought process. You’ve been digging your fingers into your palm and a trickle of blood is flowing from the wound. Ah, crap. You didn’t think to bring any bandages to or from London. You’ll just have to wait for it to stop bleeding and pay proper attention to it after you land. 

Your list of things to do once you get home has been slowly but steadily growing. Bandaging your hand. Finding out whatever the shit it is you want to do with Calliope. You’ve gotta visit her, especially since the poor girl just confessed her love to you. 

Do you love her? Yes. You do. You figured that out ages ago. And it took a hell of a lot of crying and thinking and driving – on Dirk’s part, at least – for you to discover that. So now that you’ve got this in the bag, why are you backing out?

You won’t back out. You’re just being silly is all. You’re tired and you’re overthinking things. That’s all. But you shouldn’t be tired when you land, that won’t be fair to Calliope. You don’t want her to see you again for the first time in a while when you’re all tired and pissy. You need to sleep. 

And sleep you will. No matter how long it takes you to fall asleep in this shitty airplane seat, you will go the fuck to sleep. And it does take you a while to get to sleep, but you do eventually. And you don’t wake up until the plane lands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello! It's been a while, hasn't it? How has November been for everyone?
> 
> I have a little news for you guys (it might be good or bad idk): I think I'm going to make a few spin offs of this fic! Probably not right now since we're kind of in the middle of it, but I have lots of stuff that i wanted to elaborate on in this au that i couldn't fit into this fic (i.e. Dave and Karkat's relationship, Karkat and Kanaya's past, and maybe some more DirkJake if i can't fit it all into the DirkJake Filler Chapter: Coming Soon)  
> Wowow this was long lmao   
> see you next week!


	29. Roxy and Calliope ==> Reunite ?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your name is Roxy Lalonde, and you have never been this nervous ever before in your entire life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who's back  
> back again  
> kayla's back  
> tell a friend  
> also, there's kinda a trigger warning on this? Calliope's on pain meds, so if that triggers you, please don't read this, nothing important happens, i promise

Chapter Twenty Nine 

Roxy and Calliope == > Reunite ? 

Your name is Roxy Lalonde, and the plane has landed. 

You nearly fly off of it with your carry-on bag in your hand, making a beeline for your luggage. A few people send you looks as you bounce on your heels while you wait for your bag to come in on the conveyor belt. Well, they can suck it, because you’re going to see Calliope pretty soon. 

Running all the way to your apartment doesn’t bother you either. Yeah, you might be that asshole holding two suitcases and knocking down everything in her path, but that’s okay. Your phone rings about halfway home, making you curse and almost run into a streetlamp. 

It’s Dirk. 

“What is it?” You pant, adjusting your hold on your luggage and going back to running. 

“Roxy! I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for six hours! Where the hell have you been?” Dirk asks, practically yelling into the phone. 

“On a plane, dumbass!”

“You mean you’re already back in New York?”

You let out an annoyed huff, but it sounds normal because all of your breaths are labored. “Yes. And I’m trying to run back to my apartment, but you’re getting in the way.”

“I didn’t know you were leaving so soon.”

“I wasn’t going to leave right away, but then Calliope called me and… I had to go to her, Dirk.” You admit.

You can almost hear Dirk raise his eyebrow. “What did she say?”

Fuck. “Nothing.”

You must have said the words too quickly, as Dirk sees – hears, rather – right through you. “Roxy.” 

“She said she loves me!” You yell the words out, only half meaning to. “I mean – I mean - fuck.” 

Dirk pauses and oh crap you have no idea what he’s going to say. When he finally does speak, it’s one word and it’s hushed and quiet. “What?”

“Yeah. She’s high off her ass on painkillers. But she said it a lot and I think she means it and I need to see her and I’m running home right now.” You say excitedly, almost jumping in the air in triumph. Actually, what do you mean almost, you know you fucking did.

“Roxy, that’s – that’s wonderful!” 

You’re beaming. 

“Alright, well, I’m gonna go. You’ve got Calliope, and I was just checking up on you, I’ve got some business to attend to…” Dirk trails off. 

You wonder if there’s anything else you need to talk about and catch him just before he hangs up. “Wait! Dirk!” 

“What?” 

“Do you think – do you think Jane would be okay with this? Whatever Calliope and I have, do you think she’d mind?” The thought had slipped your mind since you fell asleep, but it’s at the front of your brain now, being all invasive and messing shit up.

“Roxy, I’m sure Jane would be very happy with you. I know you love her, and she loves you. But it’s been two years, and Calliope is there for you, and I think you should go for it.” Dirk speaks the words calmly in an effort to calm you down.

You smile. “Thank you.” 

Dirk hangs up. 

Even with your pace slowed by your conversation with Dirk, you arrive home in half the time it would have taken you to walk. You’re too pumped up to take the elevator, so you charge up the stairs and slam your key into the keyhole. 

As soon as you get into you’re apartment, you toss your luggage onto the couch and down an entire glass of water. Your face looks like shit, and you make a pretty good attempt at putting a shitton of makeup on your face in less than five minutes. Overall, it turns out looking pretty damn mediocre, but you couldn’t really give less of a shit. You’ve got to see Calliope, and you’ve got to see her very soon. 

Even if it means driving. Which it does. In theory, you could walk to the hospital if you wanted to. But it would take years probably and you have to see Calliope as soon as you can. So you drive. 

You’ll be damned if you’re going to let driving get the best of you today. You’re here to see Calliope. You’re not here to have a meltdown like a baby. 

That doesn’t stop you from driving a good five miles under the speed limit. And it doesn’t stop you from gripping the steering wheel so hard your knuckles turn white. But at least you don’t cry or do anything equally as stupid. 

Pretty soon, though, you’re at the hospital. You don’t think you’ve ever been so happy to be in a hospital. 

“Hi, I’m here to see Calliope English.” You tell the lady behind the information desk.

She looks up at you, peering above her glasses. “Only family is allowed to see her at this time.”

Fuck. Alright. You need a cover up. “I’m her fiancée, actually.” 

It was the first thing that came to your mind, okay?

The person behind the desk smiles to herself and gives you directions to Calliope’s room. You thank her and just like that you’re in. You can’t believe you were allowed in with such a blatant fucking lie. Well, you’re going to have to act like Calliope’s fiancée now. You decide to text Caliborn so he and Calliope know. 

Roxy: Im at the hospital. Lady at desk said only family can see her so I kinda lied and said her and I r engaged pls inform her of this 

Caliborn: She’s high off her ass. Did you actually think that was a good idea for. say. a fraction of a second. 

Roxy: well no but at least I can see her now!!!

Caliborn: This whole thing is going to explode in your face. But okay. 

Like you needed to be told that. You know that this has been one of the worst plans you have ever had, but you need to make some sacrifices occasionally. 

The door to her ward is open and holy shit Calliope is right there. She visibly brightens at the sight of you and you guess you do too because you’re running again and she is literally right there. 

“Roxy!” Calliope exclaims. 

She’s wearing this strangely dopey expression and her eyes are somewhat unfocused. It doesn’t take much to tell that she’s high as shit on pain meds. You swallow. Is this what she would have been like?

No. You swallow and shake your head to yourself. You are not doing this to yourself right now. Right now, you are going to live in the moment and enjoy Calliope’s company and you are not going to compare her to or think about Jane. 

Caliborn leans over to whisper something into your ear. “She thinks you’re actually fucking getting married now. Nice work.”

You nod, letting yourself smile. That’s fucking adorable, you have to admit.

“Hey, Callie,” you’re smiling like a huge dork but you couldn’t care less, “how are you feeling?” 

Calliope is grinning so widely you think her smile might engulf her entire face. “Better, now that you’re here.”

Dammit, she is really freaking cute. 

You would hug her, but it would have to be at an awkward angle because she’s in a hospital bed. So you settle for playing with her hair. Callie seems to really like it, nuzzling into your hand. You laugh to yourself. 

“So when are we getting married?” Calliope asks you. 

You look at Caliborn for help. Should you tell her you’re not actually getting married? Caliborn just smirks. It’s your problem now, he seems to be thinking. What an asshole. 

“Uh… soon! We haven’t planned anything out yet, but soon.” You’ve already dug yourself a hole to China, you might as well just fucking bury yourself there while you’re at it.

“Is it gonna be a pretty wedding?” Calliope inquires, looking up at you. 

You nod. “Very pretty.”

“And there’s gonna be sparkles? And big poofy dresses?” Calliope is really really cute on painkillers. Well, even when she isn’t on them. 

“Uh-huh. Anything you want!” you confirm. 

Calliope’s eyes widen excitedly. “Can we have our wedding in Disney?” 

Well, you might as well indulge her fantasies while she’s like this. She probably won’t even remember this in five hours. “Of course we can!” 

She gasps. “Yay! I’m getting married in Disney!”

Caliborn’s fist is crammed in his mouth to keep from laughing. You elbow him in the side. He glares at you. 

“Yup! Five months from now, you’ll be in Disney getting married.” You say, placing a hand on her knee comfortingly. 

Calliope frowns. “Five months? That’s too long!”

“Of course it’s a long time. It takes a while to plan a wedding.” You assure her. 

“No! Let’s get married now! Yeah, let’s get married right now!” Calliope smiles.

You raise your eyebrows. “Right here? In the hospital bed?” 

She nods, then hits Caliborn’s shoulder with her arm. “Go get one of the nurses to record my wedding with your phone. You’re the priest!”

Caliborn sends you a look that says holy shit help me. You just shrug and wave to him. That’s payback for not helping you. He just scowls. If looks could kill, you would probably be dead at least five times over. 

He walks over awkwardly to the nearest nurse and gives him a half-assed explanation of what’s going on. The nurse laughs and takes Caliborn’s phone good-naturedly. The two of them walk back to Calliope’s bed, where she’s waiting excitedly. You’re only going along with this because Calliope’s really cute and because this will be the ultimate blackmail video in a few days. 

“And we’re rolling.” The nurse says, holding up the phone camera to capture both yours and Calliope’s faces.

Caliborn hesitates. “The fuck am I supposed to say?” 

You look over at where he’s standing, on the opposite side of the bed from where you are. “You know, ‘dearly beloved, yadda yadda yadda?’”

“I’ve never been to a wedding.” Caliborn huffs, crossing his arms. 

Calliope furrows her eyebrows and turns to her brother. “You’re ruining my wedding!” She declares, tears beginning to form. 

Well, shit. “No, no, Callie, don’t worry. We’ll fix this, okay?”

“The priest at my wedding can’t even say the right things!” She wails. Now she’s crying. Excellent. 

The nurse, who looks like he’s probably regretting all of his life choices, hands the camera over to Caliborn. “I know what to say.” He says, “I can be the priest.” 

Calliope nods tearfully, and you place a calm and assuring hand on her good arm. “See? Nothing’s ruined. We’re still going to get married.” 

The nurse delivers a truly moving speech about love and stuff. Calliope starts crying again because it’s “so beautiful.” You’re starting to wonder if this nurse is some sort of undercover minister or if he just goes to a lot of weddings. Pretty soon, it’s time for your wedding vows. 

You’ve imagined your wedding day before. Of course you have. Extravagant receptions, brilliantly decorated churches, grand and over-the-top decorations. No matter how many different weddings you’ve imagined, though, you have never thought of this. 

“This” happens to be in a hospital ward with lighting that’s too bright and a hella lot of sick people who you don’t even know. The minister celebrating your marriage is a nurse you’ve never seen before and the ceremony is being recorded on an iPhone 4s. Hell, the girl you’re marrying is drugged with way too many painkillers and has a broken arm. 

“Who wants to give their vows first?” The nurse-priest (nuriest? Prurse?) asks. 

Calliope doesn’t seem to be jumping up on the offer, so you raise your hand. “I’ll go.” You offer. 

Only now does it hit you that you do not have wedding vows prepared in the slightest. You’re going to have to improvise this whole thing. But that’s okay, you guess. You’ve done much more difficult things before. 

“Uh, Calliope, the past… 79 days we’ve known each other have been the best 79 days of my entire life. And now we’re… getting married! From the day we met at Jade’s Frozen Yogurt, to the day I proposed, like, fifteen minutes ago, to our wedding day, I have always loved you. And I promise I will always buy you yogurt. Every day.” You say. 

That was probably the weakest, most pathetic wedding vow anyone has ever delivered. You feel lame just saying it. But it’ll have to do. You’ll be able to make up for it one day, when you actually get married. 

You think your wedding vow has no effect on Calliope, but one look at her shows that she’s in hysterics. She’s actually crying. You wipe away her tears with the back of her hand. She sobs out a thank you. 

Now it’s time for Calliope’s vows. She’s already so emotional and you have no idea what she’s going to say, but it’s probably going to be very pretty. Most things Calliope says are beautiful. Well, this isn’t normal Calliope.

“George Washington.” She chokes out. What the fuck?

Calliope proceeds to name every single president. Did Calliope just name all of the United States presidents as her wedding vows? Apparently, you guess. Both the prurse and Caliborn are choking back laughter, with Caliborn struggling to hold the camera straight. 

“Where are the rings?” The nurse asks in a whisper so Calliope can’t hear.

Unfortunately, though, she does hear. Calliope gasps. “No rings! We need rings for my wedding!” She exclaims. 

“Dear, we’re in a hospital. There are no rings here.” You say gently, hoping you don’t let her down. 

Calliope turns her attention to Caliborn, who has shoved his entire fist in his mouth to keep from laughing while he records. “Caliborn! Go get us rings!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hey hey everybody! It's been... a while...   
> november was super duper hectic and I'm sorry about that, but we're back to regular monday updates!  
> How have you all been? if youve been converted into hamilton trash as i have i have a fiiiic that you can reaaad (#spon)  
> anyway, uh, enjoy whatever the fuck this is im so sorry


	30. Caliborn ==> Buy Some Wedding Rings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your name is Caliborn, and in your entire life, you have never imagined that you would find yourself in this position.

Chapter Thirty 

Caliborn == > Buy Some Wedding Rings

Your name is Caliborn, and in your entire life, you have never imagined that you would find yourself in this position. 

But here you are. You’re about to go find some shitty rings for the wedding of your high sister and her… her…? You really have no idea what Calliope and Roxy are to each other. You doubt they do either. 

“Caliborn, can you pleeease get our wedding rings?” Calliope asks you, equipping her doe eyes and cocking her head to the side.

You huff. “Goddammit, fine! I’ll be back soon.”

“Come back as quick as you can! This is my wedding!” Calliope yells after you as you exit the hospital ward. 

You turn back with the still-filming camera to capture the scene before you. Both the nurse and Roxy are staring at you with wide eyes that say don’t leave me here with this. Hah. Sucks to be them, doesn’t it?

Once you exit the hospital, you realize that you have no bloody idea about where to buy wedding rings. They aren’t even really getting married! There’s no way in hell you’re going to buy real rings for them. You’ll get cheap flimsy things that you can find easily. 

Still, where in the fuck can you find cheap rings? You could go to the toy store, but you’re stranded in a place you don’t know with no means of transportation. The closest thing to you is a grocery store. 

Well, that’ll have to do. 

You turn the phone camera around so it faces you. “I’m fucking documenting this unfathomable shitfest.” 

You have no fucking clue if they even have rings in the supermarket, but you’re going to try. So you find yourself walking through the grocery store in search of the weirdest thing in the history of the world. You’re beginning to contemplate buying donuts and using those as rings. 

“Do you know how hard it is to find wedding rings in a fucking grocery store?” You demand into the camera, knowing it won’t answer you. 

The closest thing to a ring you find to a ring is on some shitty store-baked cupcakes. There’s a six-count box of Spiderman cupcakes and the same amount of Frozen ones. You would buy a package, but you only need two rings and you have no idea what to do with six shitty cupcakes. 

You can’t believe you’re doing this. 

You walk up to the bored employee sitting behind the bakery counter and brandish the package of Spiderman cupcakes. “Do you have just the rings?” 

They sigh. This is probably just the same shit they put up with daily. “How many you need?”

“Just two.” 

The employee places a Frozen ring and a Spiderman ring on the counter. “This is all we have.” 

“How much?” you ask, digging into your pocket. Calliope is going to have to pay you back for this.

“Fucking take ‘em. Not like we need them.” The employee drones, sliding them across to you.

“Thanks,” you pocket the rings grudgingly. This person probably thinks you’re a fucking buffoon. 

They shake their head as you turn away. “I don’t think I want to know what kind of life that guy lives.” The employee mumbles to their coworker, who laughs.

“Do you see what you make me put up with?” You grumble into the camera. 

The walk back to the hospital is uneventful, the camera capturing your surrounding while the rings jangle in your pants pocket. You get a nod from the person behind the counter at the hospital as they acknowledge your presence. You’re dreading walking back into Calliope’s ward. Hell knows what sort of scene awaits you. 

Calliope brightens when she sees you. She’s still crying, probably about something very, very stupid. Roxy and the nurse sigh with relief. 

“Oh my God, you’re back.”

“Took you long enough.”

“I should’ve escaped while I could.” You mumble under your breath, unearthing the rings. 

“Which one of you two is the Spiderman and which one is the Elsa?” The nurse asks sarcastically. 

You resume your place at the foot of the bed, filming Calliope lying down and Roxy sitting next to her, playing with her hair. The nurse stands over them, handing each of them a ring. Calliope slides the ring onto Roxy’s finger with her good hand, but the nurse has to help her. Roxy has to put the ring on the wrong one of Calliope’s hands because of her cast, but it still works. 

The nurse says some more official-sounding stuff, all the “I do”s and whatnot. You doubt anybody actually listens, but it sounds decently pleasant. How the hell does that guy know this so well?

“You may kiss the bride.” The nurse declares. 

Roxy hovers above Calliope for a moment, hesitating. Calliope attaches her good hand to a good clump of Roxy’s shirt and pulls her in for a kiss and doesn’t let go for a while. It’s kind of disgusting, actually. You don’t want to watch your high sister kiss someone. 

The nurse claps and you do too because it seems polite, not that you could give two shits about politeness. It is your sister’s “wedding,” after all.

When Roxy finally does pull away, she turns to the nurse and thanks him. “You were so good at that! How’d you do it?”

He laughs. “Thank you! But don’t you know? I’m an ordained minister at the church down the street. I’m sure you’ve seen me there before. Now, if I could just have your names and an address to mail the certificate of marriage.”

You choke out the information he needs, as Roxy is too shocked to say anything. The nurse priest writes it down on a notepad, thanks you again, and leaves to check on another patient. 

You and Roxy make horrified eye contact. “Am I _married_ now?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for anyone questioning if this could actually happen, it's improbable but it actually could. (there was this one kid who went to my school and he got ordained as a minister secretly in tech class and he used to marry people at our school for fun . and that's what happens in catholic schools)  
> anyway i think theres like 3 or 4 chapters left of this omg


	31. Roxy ==> Be Married

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we all know im bad at updating this sorry

Chapter Thirty One

Roxy == > be married 

 

Your name is Roxy Lalonde, and now you’re married. Well, technically married you guess? Like, there was a priest there and he’s going to get you a certificate and everything. But the girl you just married is high as a kite and you don’t even know if she likes you? Hell, you aren’t even dating yet?

“What just happened.” You manage to say, the question coming out like a statement. 

Caliborn shakes his head. “No fucking clue, but I got it all on video!” He ends the video and shuts his phone off. 

You admire your wedding ring. “Spiderman? Really?” 

“Well, it was the only thing I could find.” Caliborn admits, but he doesn’t exactly sound sorry about it. 

Calliope is smiling up at the ceiling, mumbling nothings about how she’s finally married. You can’t wait to see her reaction to this when she’s sober. It’ll either be the funniest thing she’s ever heard or the biggest disaster she’s ever seen. 

“Alright, Callie, as much as I’d love to stick around with my brand new wife, I’ve got an awful case of jetlag and I just got off the plane like an hour ago.” You say, getting off the cold metal chair you’ve been sitting on.

“Don’t go, Roxy! I love you!” Callie reaches for you with her good hand.

You wave goodbye to her and Caliborn and take off. Today has certainly been one hell of a day, and it isn’t even that late yet. Thankfully, you have too many things on your mind to worry about driving too much. You’re still jumpy and stressed, but you think this the best you’ve ever been. 

As soon as the keys are out of your ignition, your phone is in your hand and you’re dialing Dirk. 

“What is it, Roxy? It’s a little late to be calling, don’t you think?” Dirk sounds tired, like he’s either about to go to bed or you woke him up.

“First of all, time zones.” You remind him.

“Whatever the fuck. Just tell me whatever it is you’re going to tell me.”

You burst into laughter in the middle of the elevator. “I fucked up so damn bad, holy shit.”

There’s a voice in the background on the other line. Jake, probably, asking what’s going on. “What happened?” Dirk asks.

“I kinda, accidentally, sorta… got married.” You admit.

“You _WHAT_?” Dirk exclaims, followed by a similar exclamation by Jake. You must be on speaker. 

There’s really no way to explain this. “But it was by accident.”

“Devilfucking dickens, Roxy,” Jake begins, “how do you marry someone _by accident_?”

“You see, uh, Calliope was on the painkillers the hospital gave her and she wasn’t in her right mind –” 

Dirk cuts you off. “You’re married to _Calliope_?” 

“Yes! Now shut up and let me tell my story!

“Uh, so she kept telling me that she loved me and that was nice but y’know she’s, like, drunk. But to get in to see her, I had to say we were engaged, which the nurses totally bought. Caliborn had to explain to her my cover up so she could defend me, but then Callie actually thought we were engaged. So she starts talking about our wedding and how it’s going to be in Disney or whatever the fuck she wanted. I told her it was in five months. 

“Callie totally hated that, though. She made Caliborn be the priest for our ‘wedding,’ and Caliborn got some poor nurse to film the thing. But it turns out Caliborn is shit at being a priest, so we got the nurse pretend to be the priest. Only it turns out the nurse is an actual ordained minister at the church down the street from the hospital and he’s going to get us a marriage certificate and everything. I’m married now.” 

Dirk pauses for a moment, calculates your words, and promptly bursts out laughing. 

“Holy shit, you are my favorite cousin.” He says through his laughter. 

You can hear Jake laughing as well. Fucking idiots. How is this going to help you? “Yeah, thanks for all the support, guys.”

“Well, what are we supposed to do? You’re already married.” Jake points out. 

“Maybe help me out with this? I mean, what the fuck am I supposed to do now? I’m married to her and I don’t even know if she likes me or hates me!” You exclaim, getting out of the elevator and walking into your apartment. 

“I’m sure she doesn’t hate you, I mean, she said she loved you and she married you.” 

“Are you forgetting how I left her? In the middle of the damn yogurt shop, crying? Callie probably hasn’t forgiven me for that yet.” 

Their laughing – finally – subsides. “Roxy, why don’t you just talk to her? I’m sure communication would fix a lot of your problems.” Jake says. 

“Once she’s sober again. I guess I can try.” You shrug, flopping onto your bed. 

“Alright. Get some sleep at least, though.” Dirk says gently, “Or you could always call her over now. After all, it is your wedding night.” You can hear him wiggling his eyebrows an entire continent away.

“Fuck you.” You grumble into the phone. 

“Goodnight, Roxy.” Jake’s sentence is followed by a noise you really could’ve gone without hearing.

“Goodnight, guys. Have fun.” You feel like dunking your phone into a bucket of holy water, but you’re too tired to move. 

You pull the nearest pillow underneath your head and pull a wadded-up blanket on top of you. Of course you’re tired. You had a long day. Booking plane tickets and flying for six hours only to get married on the same day. 

Does this make your name Roxy Lalonde-English?

You should probably update your Facebook status.


	32. Calliope ==> Go to Roxy's House

Chapter Thirty Two

Calliope == > Go to Roxy’s house 

 

Your name is Calliope, and it’s been about a week since you made a complete fool out of yourself and married Roxy.

Since then, you have maintained absolutely no contact with Roxy. Neither she nor you have called or texted the other, and the frozen yogurt shop is still closed. You have spent your entire weekend draped over either the couch or your bed, eagerly awaiting death.

“Hey, Calliope. What are you doing?” Caliborn asked on Monday when he got home from work. 

“Wondering if I could just vanish from existence.”

“Hey, Calliope. What’re you doing?” He asked on Tuesday.

“Waiting for the sweet release of death.” 

“What’s up?” Wednesday.

“My levels of self-loathing.”

“How are you?” Thursday.

“Dead inside.”

“How are you feeling?” Friday. 

“Emotionally crippled.” 

On Saturday, he attempted to get you out of the house. When you refused vehemently, he tried to get you to eat something more than water and the occasional peanut butter sandwich. You refused that, too. So he watched movies on the couch with you all day. 

On Sunday, he’d finally had it. “Alright, Calliope, if you won’t do anything about it, I will.” 

You scowl at him as he picks up his phone and calls someone. You really, really hope it’s not Roxy. Luck is unfortunately not on your side today. 

“Hello, sister-in-law dearest.” Caliborn begins sarcastically, watching you cringe.

Roxy says something that you can’t hear. If Caliborn wants you to talk to her, he can at least put the dumb phone on speaker or something. You glare at him, and he smiles back smugly. 

“Yeah, I was wonder if Calliope could come over to your house today?” So now he’s like a mom, making playdates for you and your friends. Rather, you and your wife.

You roll your eyes at your brother as he upholds some sort of conversation with Roxy. Caliborn seems to be going full-on suburban mom just to annoy you. Yes, death would be lovely just about now.

“Uh huh. That sounds wonderful. Yup. Bye, Roxy.” Caliborn hangs up with a masochistic smile. 

“I’m going to strangle you.” You mumble under your breath, but he still hears.

“You’re supposed to be at your wife’s house in fifteen minutes. Better get going, no?” 

Great. Now you’re going to have to get dressed. You throw on the first dress you can find and pull your hair back so you can get away with minimal brushing. Flipping Caliborn off with both hands, you leave the apartment. 

The thought of not going to Roxy’s crosses your mind. You could always take off and go somewhere else. But then Roxy would call Caliborn and he would know what you’re doing. Sighing to yourself in defeat, you trudge your way to Roxy’s house. Halfway there, it starts raining. Excellent. 

You knock on Roxy’s door gently, wondering if being married to her means getting a key to her apartment. You doubt it, since you don’t even know if you’re on speaking terms. 

Nobody answers. You try the knob and it’s unlocked, so you step in. Roxy might be dead, for all you know. “Roxy?” 

Hands wrap themselves around you, lifting you up and into a hug. You let out a surprised yelp. “Callie!” 

“Hi, Roxy.” You say once she puts you down.

Roxy nods at you. “Hey, Calliope.”

“Come in my room,” she says, “make yourself comfortable. I think we both have a few things we need to say.” 

“Yeah.” 

Roxy’s room is surprisingly clean. Spotless, even. You doubt there was ever a speck of dust in this room once Roxy moved in here. She gestures to her perfectly made bed, inviting you to sit down. You almost don’t want to mess up the cleanliness of it, but you sit down anyway. 

For a while, the whirring of Roxy’s old air conditioner is the only sound to be heard. Then Roxy clears her throat uncertainly. “Uh, I’ll go first.”

“I owe you an apology for what I did when we got back from the mall. And the whole thing at Jade’s place. It was a stupid thing to do and I didn’t think it through. I should have told you about my feelings or at least asked you first. It was wrong, and I’m sorry.” Roxy looks at the ground.

Her feelings?

“And I’m sorry for yelling at you at Jade’s and what happened in the hospital. Being on painkiller isn’t a valid excuse for marrying someone, legally or not. I shouldn’t have thought about that anyway, and I shouldn’t have kept telling you I loved you when I wasn’t even sober.” You don’t exactly know how to say the words, but they need to be said. Roxy needs to hear them.

Roxy lets out a deep breath. You look over at her and reach for her hand, which she places in yours. It’s cold and clammy, but you doubt yours is any better. 

“Callie?” She asks suddenly, eyes not moving from the floor.

“Yeah?” 

“I’ve liked you for a while now.” Roxy bites her lip uncertainly. “Liked you in a romantic way. And I should’ve told you instead of leaving you to infer from how I kissed you. I just… didn’t want to tell you because I was afraid you didn’t like me.” 

You smile at her softly, rubbing your thumb over her palm. You have no idea what to say. 

Roxy looks into your eyes like she’s searching for some sort of answer. “I – look – Callie – you don’t have to like me back. Just… think about it, okay?” 

You really wish you knew if you like her. Yes, you said you love her and you married her, but you were delirious and ridiculously drunk. And now you’re sober, your thoughts aren’t swimming, and you have no bloody idea. 

You nod. “I’ll think about it. I promise.” 

It’s silent again. The air conditioner sounds like it’s dying. 

“Roxy?”

“Mmhmm?” She looks so hopeful. You wish you could tell her that you aren’t saying what she’s hoping you’ll say.

“This is probably a touchy subject. You really don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. But you mentioned someone, at Jade’s. When we were arguing. Jane, was her name.” You place your other hand on her shoulder.

Roxy freezes up for a moment, but then she shakes her head. “No, you deserve to know.”

_No,_ you want to say, _I don’t deserve to know. I put you through all this hell. I really don’t deserve it. You’ve given so, so much already._

She clears her throat. “Are you ready for one longass story?”


	33. Roxy ==> Tell A Story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been like,,,, three months oops  
> hamsteak is ending so i opened this unfinished thing up and finished it over the weekend  
> i think I'll update a chapter a day until it ends???  
> congrats if ur still w me by the way

Roxy == > tell a story

Your name is Roxy Lalonde, and you haven’t shared this with anyone yet. 

Everyone who knows the story was there when it happened. You’ve never told it to anyone. Nobody’s ever asked you for it. They know it’s a fragile subject, especially to you.

You’re going to tell Calliope the story of you and Jane. 

“Well, you know her name was Jane. Jane Crocker.” Off to a good start, Roxy. Your voice cracked two sentences in.

“God, I don’t know where to start. I don’t know where she starts. Uh, she was the heiress to the Betty Crocker Company. She would’ve inherited it too, but I guess we’ll get to that later. I’ll try to find a picture of her when I finish. But she was so beautiful. 

“She liked baking, which I guess was good because of the whole fucking inheritance thing. She pranked people a lot. April 1st became annual hide-your-ass-from-Jane day. She liked sitcoms and detective stories and men with mustaches even though that last thing is kinda fucked up but whatever. 

“Jane was my… girlfriend. Yeah. We dated for five years, and I can confidently say those were the best five years of my goddamn life. 

“You remember Dirk, right?” You don’t even wait for Calliope’s response before continuing. “Well, he used to live here, too. He dated Jane’s cousin, Jake. It was the four of us for a while, but it was kinda weird because there were two groups of cousins? Everybody’s fucking related to at least one of their friends here, I swear. It’s like friend-cest. Fuck, that is wrong. I retract that statement.

“Uh. So. Where was I? Oh yeah, okay. It was the four of us for a long, long time. So long that we all ended up each other at one point? Or, like, maybe a one-night thing or a kiss one time? I don’t know. It was kind of fucked up now that I think about it, but that’s okay! We did end up in solid relationships, though. Like I said, the five year exclusive dating thing.”

You’re not ready to tell the sad part. So you’ll do something you do best – divert your attention from it and go off on some tangent. 

“Speaking of serious relationships, Dirk and Jake were talking about marriage. Like, I’m talking real serious business here. I got to take him wedding ring shopping. I took both of them ring shopping. Separately, though. I don’t even think they know that I did double duty with them when it comes to ring shopping.” You pause to wipe a tear from your cheek. Fuck, you’re already crying. Okay. You can do this. 

“They liked the same ring for each other. Shit, they both almost bought it, too. It sure was fun trying to dissuade them from buying the ring they were dead set on. ‘Yeah, sorry, you can’t buy this, because your boyfriend wants to buy the same ring for you.’ She – Jane – helped with that.”

Callie lays a reassuring hand on your back once you start steadily crying, tracing little circles in between your shoulder blades. Alright. You’re decently into this. You can make it to the end. Hopefully. 

“This is gonna get sad soon.” You wring your hands together nervously, wondering how you should go about telling this. Calliope nods, giving you a soft, sad smile. 

“Over two years ago, I took Jane to Tavros’s restaurant. Yeah, the same one we went to. We – ah, Jane, Jake, Dirk, and I, that is – used to go there a lot. But we stopped. Over two years ago. 

“I was planning on it, at least. Jane had to work a shift at her job and it ran a little late. But she called me as she was leaving and told me she’d be there soon.” You take in a sharp inhale, trying to swallow down the massive lump in your throat. “She said she couldn’t wait to see me and I said I loved her and she said she loved me too. God, I can still hear her goddamn voice in my head.

“So I was waiting for her and she was late, but I didn’t mind. Then Dirk called me and he had to shout because there were so many people around him and it didn’t make sense because Dirk and Jake had reservations at this fancy restaurant. He told me – he told me there was some sort of car accident and Jane was in an ambulance and they were taking her to the hospital.”

Calliope lets out a small, involuntary gasp. At this point, you have to pause between words, stopping midsentence, so you can let out a sob. It’s pathetic, you probably look like a dunce, and it just makes you even more upset. But you’re going to power through this stupid story and be done with it. 

“What was I supposed to other than rush to the hospital? God, Callie, I was so fucking scared and I didn’t know what to do and I don’t even know how I made it to that wretched place without breaking down. 

“Jake and Dirk were already there, of course, since they rode in the ambulance. They were crying and I was just as fucking pathetic as I am now, sobbing and being ridiculous and breaking down. And – and there was no news all night and we couldn’t sleep because how in the world can you sleep when your best friend and girlfriend of five years might not even make it to see daylight? 

“Her family got there maybe twenty minutes after I did because they lived a ways away and they exchanged pleasantries with us but there wasn’t much conversation to be had. I guess you can’t say much when your daughter or sister is in the emergency room and her best friends are all crying and her girlfriend looks like she’s fucking possessed. 

“Nothing to do except sit and cry and hope that there’s some higher being out there who isn’t a malevolent god. And then you pray to that deity with every inch of your being even if you don’t believe in a higher power because please don’t let her be dead. Please don’t let her die. Oh god, why did you let her die?” 

You notice now that you’ve let the big spoiler out before it came time in the story for you to announce it, but you don’t care. You’re rocking back and forth on your bed in hysterics looking like an absolute imbecile, but you barely care about that anymore. The sobs are coming one after another, so fast you can barely suck a breath in. 

“Roxy, Roxy, Roxy,” Calliope breathes, looking at you with shocked, panicked eyes. 

She pauses for a moment but jumps into action, pulling you out of your doubled over position and into her arms, running calming hands through your hair and leaning back on your mountain of pillows and stuffed cats. It’s awkward because you are at least half a foot taller than she is, but Calliope makes it work. She’s quite resourceful, as it turns out. 

Calliope holds you with her soft, short arms and whispers soothing words to you while you cry out tears you didn’t know you had in you. You haven’t cried this hard in a long, long time. This is kinda embarrassing, and you feel bad for putting Calliope in this position, but it feels oddly nice. Crying. Being held. The calming words being whispered into your ears that smell like spearmint gum and hold the promise of a good future.

“I’m sorry.” You choke out once the sobs have subsided and you’re just crying now, frantically wiping tears from your cheeks as they appear. 

Calliope smiles gently. “Don’t be. You needed this.” 

She holds this form of wisdom that comforts you and makes you want to trust her with everything you are. You do trust her with everything you are. 

You shake your head. “I shouldn’t have unloaded on you like that.”

“Nonsense, love. I asked you for the story.” Calliope assures you.

You nod, leaning into Calliope’s shoulder. She continues to run her fingers through your hair and you try not to get her dress too wet with your tears. Even though she assures you that she doesn’t mind in the slightest. 

“Alright, I think you need something to drink. You’ve probably cried all the water out of your system.” Calliope says after a while. 

“’M okay,” you mutter into her shoulder. 

And then Calliope surprises you more than you think she’s ever surprised you before. That’s coming from the girl she married whilst on painkiller. 

She lifts you up and into a cradle hold. Calliope! Calliope, who is, like, five-two! You had no idea she was so strong! Calliope laughs at your yelp of surprise when she walks out of your room with you in her arms. 

“I’m an English! Did you think I didn’t inherit the strong genes that my brother did?” She asks you with another musical laugh. 

“But you’re so short!” You exclaim. 

Calliope lets you down on your kitchen chair and opens your cabinets. “I can lift up my twin, surely I could lift you!” 

The smallest of smiles crosses your lips. 

“Dear, do you have any tea?” Calliope inquires, standing on her tiptoes to see your top shelf. 

“Mhmm.” You nod. “J – she used to like it. There should be a box or two towards the back on the bottom shelf.” 

Calliope starts pulling stuff out of your cabinet and putting it on your countertop so she can get to the tea. “Peanut butter, graham crackers, ooh! Gummy bears! Wait, no, they’re hard as a rock, whoops. Aha! Tea! Earl Grey, too, nice.” 

She sets everything up with mugs at the ready, opening the box of teabags. Calliope puts a pot of water on the stove to boil after mumbling about how it is a true tragedy that you don’t have a kettle. 

Once Calliope has the water on the stove, she opens your cabinets again. “Do you have any Marmite, by any chance?” 

You wrinkle your nose in disgust and terror. “Fuck no! I will allow tea into my house but I have to draw the line somewhere, and the spawn of Satan in a jar is a perfectly good place to draw that line!” 

Calliope stares at you, her mouth hanging open. “Not owning Marmite is blasphemous enough, but badmouthing and offending it? I will have you know that Marmite is the pinnacle of evolution, the single finest thing humankind has created, the best part of history.”

You shake your head. “You crazy British people.”

She crosses her arms. “You bloody Americans.”

Calliope returns to fixing tea, but there’s a smile on her face. You’ve gone from crying and mourning to laughing, and it’s all because of this little shit who’s making you tea. What in the world did you do to deserve this? You have no idea, but you can at least fulfill her requests. 

“Do you want to hear the rest of the story?” You ask Calliope.

She turns to you and raises her eyebrow tentatively. “Are you sure? I don’t want to get you upset or anything –”

You nod, wiping some more stray tears away. From laughter or sadness, you can’t tell. “I mean, I’ve already told most of it, so I can at least finish up. This is my first time telling it, so I’m sorry that I’m so… you know… crying and all that.” 

Calliope walks over to you and rests her chin on top of your head. “Oh, you shouldn’t worry about that. I want you to be happy, but I also want you to be able to talk about your past and let it all out.”

Yeah, you have no fucking idea of what you did to deserve something as good as this - as good as her. 

“Okay. I’ll tell it.” You decide. 

It feels right. If you’re going to date someone else, you might as well share this with them. It’s important to you, and you’re never going to truly and completely move on from it. But you think Calliope knows that, even if she isn’t quite ready to date you just yet.

“So the doctors let her family see her as soon as she was ready for visitors, saying that we – her friends – could see her as soon as she stabilized. That was in literally no way fair, since at the time she spent more time in my apartment than her apartment and her dad’s house combined, but I wasn’t emotionally collected enough to get into a fight with the doctor over that. 

“Jake could’ve went with her dad and her brother since he was family and he was there, but he chose to wait with us. Damn, I think I’ll always love him for that. Dirk, too, I guess. Because he wanted to stay with us until we could all see her as a group.

“Only – only we didn’t get to see her. Because she died before she stabilized and her family was still with her. I don’t even remember what happened when they told us. I think I got even worse than I was, if that was possible. My mind just sorta… shut off, I guess? I remember Dirk drove my car to his apartment, claiming that he didn’t trust either of us on our own. 

“Dave, holy shit, Dave. Dave’s Dirk’s little brother. Not little. Two years younger than us. He had a vague idea of what was going on because he called us while we were in the emergency waiting room, but I don’t think he was prepared for three crying, exhausted idiots coming home at seven thirty in the morning. 

“Now that I think about it, he was probably exhausted, too. Ain’t no way in hell he woke up that early. Probably stayed up all night waiting for us.

“I don’t really remember anything significant after that. A helluva lot of moping, crying. Jake fucking took off and went to Europe to climb some mountains and get away from us. He broke up with Dirk and that made Dirk a mess. Dirk moved to Texas with his brother, which is where they are now. And I’m here. Alone.” 

You shrug, sniffling and using your shirt to dry your face. Calliope places a mug of tea down in front of you and sits down with her own. 

“Roxy, I’m so sorry.” Calliope tells you when you quiet down to take a sip of tea. 

You shake your head. “Nothing anyone can do about it.” 

She nods and gives you an apologetic smile. “If there’s anything else you need to say, you can go ahead and say it.”

The mug of tea sits in front of you like an asshole, looking like it’s trying to get you to tell her. You don’t exactly want to, since you want her to be your girlfriend and you’ve already unloaded a crapload of sad stuff on her today. But you’ve told the story, one more thing surely couldn’t hurt. Could it?

You end up blurting it out. “I was going to propose to her!” Your hands reach up to cover your mouth too late. The sentence is already out there. 

“What?” Calliope’s eyes are wide as hell. 

You bury your head in your elbows. “I was going to propose to her on the date she never made it to. I have the ring and everything.” 

Calliope stands, her hands wrapped around her tea. She hugs you from behind with the hand not holding tea. “Oh, Roxy, I’m so sorry.”

You are one hundred percent sure that you are a huge baby. You can’t believe you told her this. Why do you keep talking about your ex-girlfriend (is she an ex? You never did break up) to your potential new girlfriend? Ugh. 

You shake your head. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. Shit.” 

Calliope reaches over you and places her mug on the table. “You know you can tell me anything.” 

Dammit. Why is she so fucking cute? “Yeah. I just haven’t told anyone. Ever.”

“Do you wear the ring?” Calliope asks you.

“No. I mean, it’s all expensive and I don’t want to lose it or whatever.” You say. 

“I think you should wear it if you want. Like a nice memory of her that’s always with you.” Calliope reasons, crossing her arms over your chest and yawning. 

“You don’t think…? I mean, you wouldn’t feel…? Fuck, I am bad at this.” 

She laughs gently. “No, Roxy. Why would I –” And then she seems to realize what you’re talking about. The whole dating thing. “No. I think you should wear it.”

“You think so?” 

Calliope nods. 

You stretch your arms above your head and rest them on Calliope’s head. She laughs. “You know what sounds like a really good idea right about now, though?” 

“What?” 

“Lying down in my bed and watching Netflix.” 

Calliope attempts to nod but ends up giggling. “Yes, that sounds like an excellent idea.”


	34. Roxy ==> Watch a Movie

Roxy == > Watch a movie

Your name is Roxy Lalonde, and you think you have found bliss. 

Right here. This is bliss. With a Callie lying down next to you underneath a huge winter blanket and a hot laptop resting on your chests. It was her idea to pull out the big blanket from your closet, but you went along with it. Anything to make her happy.

You picked the movie because Calliope let you. She claimed she really didn’t watch that many movies so you probably have a more expansive knowledge when it comes to that. You laughed and chose some shitty romcom. 

Because why the hell shouldn’t you be cliché? You cannot think of a single reason.

Around halfway through the movie, Calliope stops talking. You look over to her only to find her passed out right next to you. Smiling to yourself, you shut off your laptop and very slowly slide out of the bed. 

You decide it’s only fair to let Caliborn know that she fell asleep and probably won’t be home until morning. Bracing yourself for the worst, you send him a text.

Roxy: hey caliborn ur sister fell asleep and i dont think shes gonna b home till morning

Caliborn: whatever 

Caliborn: just let her sleep and do not wake her up for anything 

Caliborn: she’s barely had any sleep since whatever the fuck happened at that frozen yogurt place

Roxy: wasnt plannin on wakin her up anyway

Caliborn: I do not give two shits about how long she sleeps

Caliborn: If you wake her up you will have something in common with old French royalty. That is. I will behead you.

Roxy: alright alright jeeez

Roxy: gnite caliborn

Caliborn: Goodnight. Roxy.

Well, he only threatened you once. You think you’re making some good progress here!

Carefully as to not wake Calliope, you slide back under the covers. Surprisingly, Calliope turns out to be quite the sleep cuddler. She warms right up to you, curling her body into yours and letting out a contented sigh. You almost laugh, but catch yourself just before the sound escapes your lips. 

You aren’t particularly tired. Hell, the sun hasn’t even set yet. But Calliope has latched herself onto you and you don’t want to disturb her. And, okay, this is fucking adorable. She is fucking adorable. 

Caliborn said she hasn’t been sleeping. Ever since the fight you got into at Jade’s over two weeks ago. Is it your fault? Has Calliope seriously not been sleeping because she’s been worrying about you? 

Well, if that’s the case, you feel terrible. So you’re going to make it the hell up to her. 

Calliope’s breathing is even and calm, but she’s clinging to you for dear life. She even has a hand balled in your shirt, like she’s forcing you to stay right here with here with her. You place your arm around Calliope, assuring her that you’re right there. That makes her relax a little, but her hand stays holding your shirt. 

For the millionth time today, you find yourself thinking about how damn cute Calliope is. 

Yeah, you definitely want to date this girl. Hell, you’d go so far as to say you love her. Of course you do. You’ve loved her for a long time. 

After a while of thinking similar things, you drift into the most peaceful sleep you’ve had in a while.

-.-.-

When you wake up, the first rays of sunlight are beginning to peak through your window. Oh, right. You probably forgot to close the curtains before you went to sleep. 

Speaking of sleep, Calliope is still sleeping. Her head is resting on your shoulder and she’s still curled into you, in the same position she was in yesterday evening. Her hand is draped over your stomach, holding you into her. 

You love her. The thought comes so naturally to you by now. Of course it does. After all, you are technically married. You smile to yourself. 

 

Calliope doesn’t wake up until the late morning, almost afternoon. 

She stretches out, stretching out her limbs slowly and extending her arms above her head. Her eyes open just a crack and then close right back as she curls back into you. Once you put your arm around her, she freezes and opens her eyes again. 

“Oh. Hello, Roxy.” There’s a smile on Calliope’s face and she has a raspy morning voice. 

You smile. “Good morning.”

Calliope sits up. “Morning? I slept that long?”

“It’s a quarter to twelve!” You laugh.

“Oh dear, really? I’ve never slept this late before.” She wipes sleep from her eyes and gets off the bed shakily, nearly falling.

“You can go back to bed, if you want.” You offer. 

Calliope shakes her head. “No, thank you. I’m rather hungry.”

“Okay,” suddenly your mind is grasping for breakfast ideas. Of course it is. “Uh, we could make something? Or we could go to the diner?”

Her eyes perk up at that. “There’s a diner around here?”

“Diner it is, then!” you declare. 

Calliope’s dress is all wrinkled from being slept in, so you offer her a shirt and a pair of shorts of yours. She thanks you and goes to change. And, of course, she looks absolutely stunning in them. What else could you expect from her? She is Calliope, after all.

The diner is only a fifteen minute walk, and today is a fucking beautiful day. It’s like life is finally letting you have some good things. About damn time, life. Fuck you.

Calliope orders pancakes because she likes being boring and you get waffles because waffles are cool and not boring. You sit in a booth by the window, and the sun shines on your faces. Today has gotten off to a very good start. 

Too soon, though, you finish breakfast and it’s time to part ways. Calliope is probably ready to go home by now, having spent over twenty four hours with you. But you think you could be with Calliope every day all day for the rest of your life and be the happiest person in the world. 

“Bye, Roxy!” Calliope tells you once you’re outside the diner.

“Bye, Callie. Hey, think about it, okay?” You say softly. 

She nods. “I promise.” 

You watch her as she disappears down the street, only turning away when she rounds the corner to her apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this is the last real chapter??? what ??? theres an epilogue after this that'll be updated tomorrow but  
> holy shit  
> ive spent about a year on this ?? (from the time i originally came up w an idea) its crazy that this is ending


	35. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, here it is. the End. the over 10,000 word End.

Epilogue   
(Slightly more than) A Year Later 

Roxy == > barbeque

Your name is Roxy Lalonde, and it’s the Fourth of July!

You are super duper fucking excited for today. You’re going to barbeque and be all suburban with your friends, and then you’re all going to see the fireworks! It’s going to be so great, and you can’t goddamn wait. 

It is currently 10:08, and the party starts at noon. You’re bouncing with anticipation, but there’s still a lot of preparing before the actual thing starts. Calliope promised to come over early and help you prepare, but she isn’t supposed to be here for another hour or so. 

Okay. You need to do something. What do you need to do?

You know without a question that you have to clean up your apartment a little. Okay, a lot. Or at least the living room and kitchen. 

Right. Cleaning. You can clean, can’t you? Of course you can! Who hacked into the school’s website back in middle school? You did! Who survived two years of complete and utter shit? You did! And that means you can vacuum a room and clean some stuff up. 

… No, apparently it does not.

It is now 10:30. Your list of accomplishments includes vacuuming the living room, mopping the kitchen floor, clearing off all the surfaces in the kitchen, shoving a lot of crap behind desks and couches and in bins, and getting told off by the neighbors for playing Uptown Funk too loud. So technically, you did clean!

If cleaning means hiding a ton of crap behind other crap. Which it probably does. So yeah, you guess you did clean. 

You head into the kitchen and get the chips and dip out. You place the platter on the coffee table in the living room, even though you know you should probably wait until the official party starts because you’re just going to eat all the chips before anyone gets here. But that’s okay. 

You’re shaping the chopped meat into burgers when somebody knocks on the door. “It’s open!” You yell out to Calliope, as your hands are covered in meat and you don’t feel like giving your doorknob a fresh coating of salmonella today.

Calliope opens the door and walks into the kitchen holding a watermelon basket of fruit. She’s dressed in something other than green today for what is probably the first time in her life. Calliope wears a red, white, and blue dress and headband, with her hair pulled back into a high ponytail. 

“Good morning, Roxy! Happy Fourth of July!” Calliope exclaims, setting the watermelon basket down on the counter. 

“Hey, Callie! Happy Fourth!” You stand to hug her awkwardly, making sure your hands don’t touch her. 

Just to get it out of the way, no, you are not dating Callie. Yet, at least. You still have hope, even though she hasn’t brought up the whole dating thing in over a year. 

“What’d you bring?” You ask, gesturing to the watermelon thing.

She smiles. “Oh, that old thing. I hollowed out a watermelon and carved it so it’s like a basket, and then I put fruit in it. Like a fruit salad with a twist!”

Calliope carved a fucking watermelon for your little barbeque thing. You don’t think it is possible to be this goshdarn cute.

“Is there anything you need me to do?” Calliope asks, looking around at the kitchen.

You wrack your brain for something, as there is at least one thing you forgot to do. “Oh, shit!” You exclaim, “I forgot the cake!”

Calliope grins wildly. You almost don’t want to know what it is she’s planning. “I could make one! I can bake rather well, if I do say so myself.” 

“Are you sure? All my cake mix is years old…” you trail off. It’s going to be one shitty cake.

She looks at you like you’re insane. “Are you bloody kidding? I don’t skimp on cake. I’m making it from scratch.”

You raise your eyebrows in surprise. “You can do that? You don’t need instructions or anything?” 

“It’s an old family recipe. There never were any proper instructions.” Calliope informs you, opening the fridge and pulling out ingredients at what seems to you like random. 

“Carrots? In a cake?” What the hell? Who the fuck puts carrots in their cake?

Calliope sends you a look. “Of course! It’s carrot cake, Roxy!”

“Well that sounds fake but okay.” You’ve never heard of such an abomination. Nobody in their right fucking mind puts vegetables in a cake.

She laughs and pulls out your hand mixer. “I didn’t know you had a hand mixer! Oh, this is grand, it won’t take as long!”

You didn’t even know you had a hand mixer. 

Calliope starts on the cake, pouring ingredients into the metal bowl while they’re beaten into a batter. She doesn’t measure anything once. That is absolutely insane. Jane used to measure every single little thing, and here Callie goes, just putting fucking sticks of butter into this vegetable cake. 

You finish shaping all the chopped meat and put them on a plate near the sliding door to the deck of your apartment. Who knew buying that grill four years ago would pay off? Not you, that’s for sure. 

There’s still plenty to do while Calliope works on that cake of hers. The punch needs to be made, the cheese sliced, the crackers and brie set out on the table. You busy yourself with all these little tasks while Calliope pops the cake into the oven. 

“You need frosting?” You ask her. “There should be some old unopened stuff in the cabinet.”

Once again, Calliope stares at you with her mouth hanging open. “I make my frosting like I make my cake. From scratch.”

You laugh. “You are the craziest baker I have ever met.”

“Thank you.” Calliope bows. 

You have to admit that homemade frosting tastes a hell of a lot better than store bought. Of course, you would know because you snuck a taste while Calliope was setting up the crackers and brie. In that moment, you think you felt real happiness. Never again will you criticize Calliope for putting cream cheese in frosting. 

There’s a knock on the door just as the timer for the cake dings. Callie rushes to the oven to get the cake, leaving you to get the door. Even though you’re up to your elbows in fruit punch. 

For the second time this morning, you yell “it’s open!” at the top of your lungs. 

Dirk and Jake enter your apartment, armed with more chips and a store bought thing of cookies. “Hey, Roxy! Hey, Calliope!” They call from the living room. 

“We’re in here, idiots!” Comes your response. You’re grinning. 

Dirk comes over to you with a spoon he probably grabbed from your silverware drawer just now. He drinks a sip of your damn fruit punch without even asking first. This calls for revenge.

“Oh, Dirk, I’m so glad you could come!” You exclaim, cupping his face with your sticky, punch-covered hands and laughing like a maniac. 

“What’s all that ruckus?” Jake asks, setting the cookies and ships down on the counter and waving a hello to Calliope. 

Your cousin looks at you with a truly horrified expression. “Do you know how long it takes to achieve this degree of perfection?” He asks, gesturing to his face, the bottom half of which is dripping wet. “You’ve soiled it!” 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” You say over the laughter of everyone in the room except Dirk.

Shocked, Dirk backs out of the room and goes to wash his face. The three of you left in the room are nearly doubled over with laughter. Dirk yells something out, perhaps a threat, but can’t hear it, nor do you care. 

“Ooh, Calliope, what are you making?” Jake inquires, gesturing to the frosting. 

“Cream cheese frosting for the carrot cake.” 

“Can I have some?”

Calliope smiles but shakes her head. “You have to wait for the cake, it’s the rule.”

Jake nods. Not even a minute later, he points to the window and shouts, “Do you see that?” 

“See what?” Callie totally falls for the diversion and looks up from her precious frosting.

As quickly as he can, Jake shuts off the mixer and sticks his finger into the frosting. “Now that,” he declares, “is some darntootin’ frosting.”

Calliope turns on him, but it’s too late. Jake already has full control over the frosting. She seems to notice too late that she really shouldn’t have fallen for that stupid diversion. 

“Hey, Jakey, don’t hog all the frosting!” You call from the kitchen table, still making the punch. You leave your mouth open after you finish what you said.

Jake grabs a spoon that was left on the counter and scoops out a dollop of frosting. “Incoming!” he shouts, pulling back on the spoon and watching the frosting fly through the air. 

You are so damn coordinated and so in sync with Jake by now that you catch the whole spoonful on the first try. Hell fucking yeah you do! The frosting, though, is fucking orgasmic. So orgasmic, in fact, that you have to moan to show how truly good it is. It’s like magic. 

“How did you catch that?” Callie asks in bewilderment while Jake just stands there, holding the frosting, grinning victoriously. 

“Because I am a haxxor bitch!” you declare once you swallow, pumping your fists rapidly. 

“Roxyy!” Jake yells, doubling over the frosting. “You just got us all wet!”

You grin. “Hell yeah I did!” 

Your punch might be your small, precious baby, but you have to make sacrifices sometimes. So you scoop a handful of it and throw it at Calliope and Jake. It splatters everywhere. The floor, the counter, the microwave, but most importantly, Calliope and Jake. 

“Save the frosting!” Calliope screeches, grabbing it from Jake’s hands and placing it on the counter behind them. 

“You guys scared?” You ask, reaching into the punch bowl again.

Jake laughs. “You wish!” 

Calliope reaches for the silverware drawer as fast as she can, yelling for Jake to cover her. However, either Jake is slow or you are too damn fast, because you splash punch all over her and your silverware drawer. She yelps at the cold and jumps back, a spoon clutched in her hand. 

She nods at Jake, who plunges his spoon into the frosting and catapults a spoonful at your face. You try to dodge it, but you’re too slow and end up taking a blow to the forehead. It sticks there, annoyingly enough. You don’t take the time to wipe it off before flicking the ladle at Calliope and Jake again. They both get splattered by punch. 

Soon enough, there’s an all-out war going on. It is two against one, which is totally unfair, but you manage to hold your own. The punch is sticky and cold and wet and very easy to hit people with. Unfortunately for you, both Callie and Jake are very good at catapulting frosting. You had no idea Calliope had such good aim.

Dirk chooses that moment to walk into the room. “Hey, what’d I m–” 

He stares at the scene in horror, but nobody pays him much attention. That is, until one of Calliope’s shots goes wrong and she shoots him square in the chest. If you weren’t so busy, you would laugh. A lot. 

“Alright, then, I’m just going to hide…” Dirk turns away from the kitchen, but you risk your cover.

You leave the punch bowl on the table and grab Dirk’s sleeve. This subjects you to a lot of frosting bombs, but you don’t mind. “C’mon, Dirk, I need you on my team! We gotta destroy them with fruit punch! C’mon, c’mon, c’mon!” 

He raises his eyebrows. “I don’t think I’m really in the mood for a food fight right now…” 

“Dirk, everybody is always in the mood for a food fight.” You inform him, pulling him by his sleeve back to your table. 

Calliope and Jake hit him with rapid fire frosting spoonfuls, almost as if for emphasis. You use the ladle to splash them with more punch. About a third of your supply has been used up, but that’s okay. You’re sure that Callie and Jake are suffering similar losses. 

Your cousin is already in the crosshairs of battle, and he seems to realize that. There is absolutely no turning back now. So he’s stuck on your side now! 

“What are we trying to accomplish here?” Dirk asks you as you unleash another ladle’s worth of hell upon your opponents. 

“We are in this to win this. Just fucking reach in the punch bowl and splash them, it isn’t that hard.” You reach a hand in front of your hand and catch a catapulted glob of frosting. 

Dirk turns out to be quite a good partner in food fighting. You’re able to get in twice the splashes, whereas the other team’s power remains the same. You like this. Hell, you wouldn’t mind if you just splashed them with fruit punch for the rest of your life.

A few more minutes of screeching and dodging and throwing pass. After a while, Calliope lets out a horrified screech. 

“What’s wrong?” Jake asks, launching a spoonful of frosting at Dirk. It’s almost impossible to hear him over the screaming.

“We’re out of frosting!” Calliope exclaims. “That spoon you just flung at them was the last one!” 

You and Dirk stop splashing. “Out of frosting, you say? Does that mean we won?”

Jake shakes his head. “Never!”

You raise an eyebrow. “Oh, really?” 

Dirk smirks at you, and you give him the most miniscule nod. He grabs one side of the hugeass punchbowl and you get the other. You charge. 

They seem to realize what’s about to happen a second before it does. Jake curses. Calliope lets out a scream that is only quieted by you and Dirk dumping a fuckton of fruit punch on them.

“Okay! You win!” Callie and Jake surrender, but they’re laughing. So are you and Dirk. 

The four of you stay like that for a while, standing there and laughing. Calliope and Jake are drenched in fruit punch, and you and Dirk are caked with frosting. You wish that never ended. Damn, it was fun. 

“Guys?” You ask after a while. “How are we going to clean all this up?”

“Oh. Right.” Jake says. 

“Fuck.” Dirk declares matter-of-factly. 

“Yes. Fuck indeed.” Calliope says. 

You shake your head, wondering why you’re still laughing even when faced with something as big as this cleaning task. “Well, we better get started.”

And get started you do. It takes close to a goddamn hour to clean that goddamn kitchen. You had no idea frosting and punch could wedge their way into such small surfaces and stick so much. The table, stove, and countertops all need to be wiped down more than once to get all the sticky shit off. Your poor, poor refrigerator is positively covered in frosting that stuck to it. Hell, there is frosting stuck to and punch dripping down from the ceiling. 

Needless to say, the job requires more than three rolls of paper towel, a lot of countertop cleaner, a stepladder, a mop, two bottles of soap, multiple trips to the washing machine and dryer, and all of your hot water is wasted on showers. Once you’re done, the kitchen smells like sugar and cleaning solution, but you don’t really mind. It looks a lot better than it did when there was frosting and punch everywhere. 

“Are we gonna grill soon? 'Fucking starved.” Dirk whines.

“Yeah, yeah. Calm your tits for five seconds.” You tell him, opening the kitchen door to your deck.

You turn the grill on and leave it to heat up. “Someone bring me the plate of burgers.”

Jake says something from behind the door, but you can’t hear what exactly. “What?” 

He says something again, and you sigh. “I can’t hear what you’re saying!” 

Dirk looks like he’s rolling his eyes from behind his shades and opens the door. “Is that better? Idiots, I swear.” 

“What did you say?” Jake asks you.

“What did you say?” 

“I couldn’t hear what you said!”

“I asked for the plate of hamburgers!”

Calliope hands you the plate of hamburgers and the cutting board with cheese on it. “Better?” She asks, laughing.

All three of them retreat back into the living room, probably to eat your chips. You can’t believe they left you here all alone, especially if they get chips out of it. Outrageous. Have they no appreciation for their hostess? The one who makes the burgers, the one who buys the chips? Okay, so you all brought chips, but still. 

You maneuver your foot around the door handle and tug it open by hopping forward, thanking your mother for making you go through with those five years of ballet lessons. “Hey, is nobody gonna help me make these things?” You call inside. 

Calliope stands up – or rather, bounces up – from her perch on the couch. “I’ll help!”

God, you love her. Which is kind of annoying, as she still hasn’t gotten back to you about that whole thing and it’s been over a year. But that’s okay. You’re going to enjoy today and not let your excruciating gayness get in the way of it. 

“What do you need help with, Roxy?” She asks, eager to help. Well, either that or eager to get away from the boys. Most likely a bit of both. 

“You wanna put ‘em on the grill or you wanna flip ‘em?” 

Calliope doesn’t look like she likes the idea of putting her hands anywhere near the actual hot part of the grill, so she takes the burger flipper thing and flips the burgers when you indicate they need to be flipped. She also takes care of the hotdogs. 

“So, are you excited for the fireworks?” You ask, content with working in silence, but really wanting to talk to her.

She nods, smiling. “Anything this year will be better than what happened last year.” 

You laugh. Last year, Caliborn was out on a business trip and the fireworks scared her. She thought they were gunshots and called you, crying. The overall experience was great, albeit terrifying, because you got to cuddle Callie all night. 

“I think these are done.” Calliope says, gesturing to most of the burgers. 

“You can take them off the grill, if you want.”

She looks fucking terrified, but you’re in the middle of putting cheese on the burgers that aren’t done yet. Calliope sets her teeth and accepts her fate. You nod your head toward the plastic plate where the other finished burgers rest. Very slowly and very, very carefully, Callie places each burger on the plate. Adorable. 

“We’ve got burgers!” You declare roughly five minutes later.

Jake and Dirk look up from their conversation as you place the plates laden with meat on the table. “Took you long enough.” They both grumble.

Calliope laughs. “Like you noticed. You were too busy sucking each other’s faces off to notice how hungry you were.”

Well, Callie’s certainly right about one thing. Making them blush is one of the best things to do in this entire universe. And people can quote you on that.

“Oh, Callie, I think they were hungry.” You say gently but sarcastically, “Not hungry for food, but hungry.”

Yes, folks, it’s the little things in life.

You really don’t know if they’re being serious or if they’re playing it up for the cameras, but Dirk and Jake sure are being lovey-dovey assholes. Like how Jake gets burger juice on his chin and Dirk fucking licks it off. Thanks but no thanks, you disgusting idiots.

“Get a room.” Callie tells them. She sounds like she’s trying to be stern but ends up smiling. You honestly think there is not one mean bone in her goddamn body.

“The movement is seconded.” You respond, “For fear that if they do not get a room, they will end up fucking underneath the fireworks.”

“Thank you for that image, Roxy, because now it is stuck inside my head forever.” Calliope says, shaking her head.

Dirk removes his face from Jake’s chin. “Don’t be like that, Calliope. You know you’d like it.” 

Calliope cringes and fills her mouth with fruit so she doesn’t have to respond. 

-.-.- 

About two hours later, you’re all ready to go to the fireworks. Everything, including Calliope’s cake, is packed in your car. That’s the bad part. The fireworks are close to an hour away, so the only way to get there is by car. You’ll be in a car for an hour.

You wish it was less painfully obvious. Everybody around you knows about how much you hate car rides, and they’re handling you like you’re a doll made of paper and glass, about to break. Especially Calliope. As you load all the bags into the car, she keeps glancing over at you. It’s like she thinks you can’t see her, but you can, and her pity is eating you alive.

Dirk takes up the task of driving, even though it’s your car. They make you sit in the back with Calliope, so you aren’t near the steering wheel. You wish they would stop treating you like a baby, even though you almost appreciate their effort. Almost. 

Calliope places her hand in the middle of your two seats as Dirk starts the car. You’re really getting tired of this. 

However, before Dirk even pulls out of the parking lot, you find yourself clutching onto Callie’s hand for dear life. You didn’t even know you were doing it.

“You okay?” Calliope whispers, her tone and eyes gentle. 

Biting your lip, you nod. She gives you a look that says “really?” and holds her arms open. You curse the entire world for existing but slide right into them. Okay, maybe this isn’t the absolute worst thing that could’ve happened to you. Calliope smells like your shampoo from the shower she took. You really never realized how amazing your taste in shampoo is.

Callie busies herself by playing with your hair. She runs her fingers through it, lazily braiding a few strands. You love it when she does that. It makes you tired, though. You figure you could easily fall asleep right here, even if it is a car.

“You can sleep, if you want. I’ll wake you when we get there.” Calliope tells you, tilting your chin up to face her. 

You want to refuse, to show that you’re more than just a child who needs to be put to sleep so she won’t have a meltdown. But your eyelids are really heavy and you’re really, really comfortable. So you nod, mumbling a thanks. 

You conk out within mere seconds. 

 

The next thing you’re vaguely aware of is a hand shaking you gently. You think the person the hand belongs to is saying something, but you can’t tell what it is yet. 

“Roxy, we’re here. It’s time to wake up. Rox-yy, c’mon.” You recognize the voice now – Calliope.

You’re quite comfortable where you are now, actually. You don’t exactly feel like waking up at the moment. Perhaps there’s a way to make Calliope stay in this car with you so you can finish sleeping.

Calliope laughs. “You’re already awake, Roxy. Now come on, we have to go get a spot on the grass.” 

You groan, wrapping your arms around Calliope’s shoulders. “’M goin’ back ta bed, thanks.”

“I’m going to get up,” Callie teases, but she’s already removing her body from the car seat. You whine a complaint because now your pillow is gone.

“Nooooo, stay.” 

“Roxy, I will not hesitate to lock you in this car all night.” Dirk threatens, but you can tell he’s kidding. At least half-kidding. 

“Fine, fine, I’m getting up.” You open your eyes a slit and feel around for the car door. The others laugh at your half-walk, half-fall out of the car. You send them a half-assed sleepy glare.

“Do I have to carry you?” You aren’t quite sure who says that, but all three of them can lift you up, so it doesn’t exactly matter. 

You give everyone another glare. “Just shut the fuck up and give me something to carry.”

“You sure you can carry things?”

You open your eyes enough to look at the trunk and grab the bag of towels, which just so happens to be the heaviest damn bag you all brought. Whatever. You can carry four towels in a beach bag easily. 

“Roxy, you look like you’re about to fall over.” Calliope says, laughing. 

“I’m goin’ to show all you dickwads that I can totally carry this bag of towels all the way to where we set up.” You say, crossing your arms for emphasis. “…Wait. This isn’t the parking lot. Where the hell are we?”

Jake laughs. “The parking lot was already full, we had to find somewhere else to park.”

“How far away from the field are we?” 

They hesitate. “Fifteen minutes, at the least?” Callie says hesitantly, like it’s a question.

This is great. Just fucking excellent. Well, at least it isn’t the end of the world. You can walk to a field for, like, fifteen minutes. It won’t kill you or anything. Or, you hope it won’t kill you. 

“Well, what the hell are we waitin’ for? Let’s get walking!” You declare, pointing your finger towards the sky. 

“That’s not the right direction, Roxy.” Dirk tells you.

“It can be if I want it to be!” 

Calliope ends up leading the way, as she turned out to actually be paying attention to her surroundings. She gets you to the field in around seventeen minutes, which is more than fifteen, but you don’t exactly mind.

“Finally!” You exclaim, setting your bag of towels down.

“Actually, no.” Dirk points into the distance. “We’re going down there, because that’s where we’ll have a clearer view of the fireworks.”

You throw your head back to look at the sky and let out a loud, distressed wail. “You mean more walking?”

“Yes, I mean more walking. Now, if you get it over with quickly, it won’t take as long as if you mope.” Dirk says, already starting down the field. Jake follows close behind him, but Callie waits for you. You knew there was a reason you liked her.

“I can take that for you,” Callie offers, “And you can take the cooler.”

You shake your head. “Nah, I’m okay. Thanks, though.”

At this point, you’re already well behind the boys, so you decide against running to catch up with them. “Let them argue about where we’re sitting, we’ll just set everything up.” Calliope figures.

“Are you coming to the amusement park after we set up?” You ask.

“Amusement park?”

“Yeah! Across the street, they have this whole big amusement park thing. With roller coasters and big rides and games where you can win stuffed animals and food places with lines that are way too long!” You say excitedly, using big hand gestures to get your point across. 

Calliope smiles. “That uh… sounds fun.”

You pump your fist. “Yes! So that means you’ll go on roller coasters with me?”

She hesitates. “Of… of course I will. Roller coasters. Yeah.” 

You laugh. “Awesome! Oh, it’s gonna be so great! They have these really big ones and there’s one with this loop de loop and I’ve only done it once but it was so totally cool and I really wanna do it again!” 

Calliope nods absentmindedly. “Oh, look, it seems like they’ve chosen a spot to make camp on!” 

Sure enough, they have. You wave your arms above your head to signal them. 

“Took you long enough.” Dirk says.

You set the towel bag down on the floor. “Stop complaining and set up the damn camp.”

Setting up doesn’t take long. You lay all four towels out to take up the maximum amount of space and place the cooler and bag of snacks in one of the corners. “Okay we set up can we go to the carnival now?” You ask, practically begging by now.

Jake laughs. “Yes, we can go to the carnival now.” If you didn’t know him better, you’d say he’s acting jumpy. 

“Do I have to go?” Dirk asks. What a party pooper. 

Jake grabs Dirk’s wrist and attempts to pull him upright from his sitting position. “Nope, you’re coming with us. I don’t make the rules, sorry.”

Calliope sends you a look. Why does he want Dirk to come with us so much? You shrug. Who the hell knows?

“Now, y’see, if you guys didn’t insist on going all the way down here to sit, we could’ve been at the carnival already.” You inform everyone as the trek all the way across the field begins. “But nooo, we had to go all the way over here.”

Dirk shakes his head. “You’ll thank us when we have the best view of the fireworks in the whole field.”

Okay, so maybe it doesn’t take that long to walk across the field. But it’s still five minutes you could’ve spent playing a carnival game and winning a sickass prize. You are going to win all the prizes today. All of them.

Once you enter the carnival grounds, Dirk makes a beeline for the food tent. “Motherfucking fried Oreos, man. The one thing I miss about Texas. 

You laugh. Dirk moved back to Skaia about a month or so after the wedding. Karkat and Dave got an apartment in London after falling in love with the city, leaving him with no ties in Texas. So he moved back into his old apartment, which thankfully had just gone back on the market. It wasn’t long before Jake moved in with him. It’s almost like old times again. 

“Is that the line for the Oreos?” Calliope asks, gesturing to the biggest line in the entire damn carnival. There seems to be only one line for the only food tent in the place. Well, great. You’re not going to spend the entire time on this line. 

“It’s fucking worth it.” Dirk promises, leading you all to the end of the line.

You roll your eyes. “You guys can stay here, but I’m going to the bathroom. I’ll be back.”

Unfortunately, the good bathrooms are all the way back where you set up camp. But sitting in an air conditioned room is better than standing out here in the heat with a bunch of people and probably twice as many mosquitos. 

“I’ll go, too, then.” Jake says quickly, following you. Yeah, you’re pretty sure he’s acting pretty weird. 

“What’s wrong?” You ask him as soon as you’re out of the earshot of Dirk and Callie.

Jake bites his lower lip. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you today, I just have no idea how to drop the bomb.”

“Are you okay? Is anyone hurt?” You turn on him like this is a police interrogation.

He shakes his head quickly. “No, no… it’s darn tootin’ good news, I think. I just wanted to run it by you first.”

“Alright, Jake, no offense, but fucking out with it already! This suspense is killing me!” You exclaim. What in the world is he going to tell you?

Jake exhales for a while, and you glare at him the whole time. He looks so nervous about it. What the literal fuck? Is he pregnant or something? You almost laugh at that. 

“I’m proposing to Dirk. Tonight.” He declares, chin up as a way to try and gain confidence. 

You don’t say anything for the longest time, just stare at him with your mouth open. Hell, you doubt you could say anything if you tried to. You think you’ve stopped walking. 

When you don’t respond, Jake keeps rambling nervously. “I mean, I had to be gentlemanly and get permission first, but his parents are dead and Dave wants nothing to do with me, so I figured I might as well tell you. You’re probably gonna tell me off about what happened three years ago. Frankly, I deserve that. But, uh, no offense, I’m going to do it even if you don’t approve because I already have the ring and everything…”

“Jake.”

“Yeah?”

“That’s fucking wonderful! I’m sure he’ll say yes and everything’ll be just fine. But you were right. About the me chewing you out thing. Sorry.”

Jake grimaces. “Go ahead.”

“If you propose to him, there is absolutely no running away from him, do you get me? Dirk is a fragile little flower and you have to be really really nice to him! I mean, you’ve dated for years, but I will not let you leave him, okay?” You tell him. You don’t really want to hurt Jake’s feelings, but you have to make it clear that he can’t pull that shit again.

He nods. “Loud and clear.”

You smile, wrapping him in an embrace. “I’m so happy for you! Ah, it’s going to be so great and I bet you he’ll start crying because he’s secretly sappy as fuck but he’s gonna say yes and it’ll be wonderful!”

“Are you sure?”

“I have never ever been surer of anything in my entire life. So, how are you gonna do it?”

Jake considers your question. “No idea, just yet. I don’t want to do it when the fireworks are going on because I’d have to shout for him to hear me. I guess I’ll just pop the question whenever it feels right, you know?”

You nod. “Aw, Jakey, that’s really sweet.”

There’s a pause after that. “So, don’t you have to go to the bathroom?”

You shake your head. “I just didn’t wanna stand on the line. But I’m sure Dirk and Callie are almost next, if they haven’t already gotten their food.”

“Yeah. We should probably head back.”

“Hold on, though. If you’re proposing, I’m bringing my camera back with us,” you say, running over to camp and unearthing your digital camera from your backpack. As a second thought, you take bug spray with you as well.

Jake smiles. “If my fucking proposal picture comes out blurry, I will kill you.”

You draw a fake halo above your head. “No promises.”

It turns out that neither you nor Jake had been right about the line. Dirk and Calliope are barely halfway to the cash register. “What took you so long?” Calliope whines, but you can tell she’s at least half faking. “I’m positively dying here.”

“I brought you bug spray!” You declare, brandishing the bottle of the best thing ever invented. 

She raises an eyebrow. “Is that the bug spray from my bag?”

“Yeah, well, I figured you wouldn’t mind as long as it was bug spray.” 

“Can’t exactly argue with that.”

By the time Dirk finally orders his damn Oreos, you’re all dying. He has the decency to get one order for each of you, but they’re too hot to even eat. So you’ll just have to carry them around with you for god knows how long.

“What are we doing next?” Calliope asks. 

“Roller coasters!” You shout.

“Carnival games!” Dirk shouts at the same time as you.

“How about we do the roller coasters first, and then we do carnival games? That way we don’t have to hold everything on the roller coaster.” Jake suggests, and you all nod in agreement. 

You take a look around at all the great roller coasters. “Which one are we doing first?”

Calliope points to a little blue one all the way on the other side of the carnival. “How about that one?” She asks.

“Uh, Callie? That’s the kiddie coaster. They don’t let you on if you’re taller than, like, five feet.”

She shrugs. “Do you think I could pass? I’m only two inches taller.”

“Oh, come on. Let’s do that one!” You point to the biggest one at the park, complete with the loop de loop. 

Her eyes go as wide as saucers. “Yeah, uh, you can do that. I think I’m gonna go and play some carnival games.”

“Aww, come on! Just that one. And then we can play carnival games.” You negotiate.

Dirk and Jake send each other a look. You never negotiate when it comes to roller coasters. You will not stop until you’ve done every single one in the entire park, even if you have to drag your friends along with you. They can screw off, though. They know Calliope’s a special case. 

She looks down, back at the roller coaster, and back down again. “I – okay. But that’s it. Right?”

“I promise.”

Oh, the boys and their raised eyebrows can go to hell. 

Surprisingly, the line for the roller coaster isn’t long at all. Most of the roller coaster lovers must not be here yet. Either that, or they’ve already gone on it. In fact, all four of you are let on to the roller coaster as soon as you get on line. 

“Can we sit in the front?” You ask Calliope.

She hesitates. “I, erm, always found the experience better in the middle.”

“Huh, I’ve never tried that. Middle it is!” 

It takes a while for the entire cart to fill up with people, but you don’t mind. It just adds to the excitement. Callie seems like she’s really excited, too, judging by the way she clings to your arm the whole time the car fills up.

A very bored employee goes through the basics of keeping your limbs inside the cart at all times and all that other shit that everyone already knows and gives zero shits about. The cart starts moving very, very slowly. 

“Oh my god oh my god oh my god.” Callie breathes.

“What? Aren’t you having fun? Roller coasters are great!” You’re about to go up a hill, and Calliope’s grip on your arm tightens.

“Roller coasters are fucking terrifying.” She tells you, as calmly as she can, which is not very calm at all.

You look at her in confusion. “I thought you liked them?”

Callie shakes her head as the cart reaches the peak of the first mountain. “I am so bloody scared of the–” her sentence is cut off by a very loud, shrill scream.

You’re shocked that a sound that shrill could come from a being as reserved as Calliope. “Oh, shit, Callie, I’m so sorry I made you do this.”

“No, no, it’s okay.” Her voice is hoarse from screaming so loud for so long, and you can barely understand her. 

“No more roller coasters?” You ask, looking down at Calliope.

She’s practically buried herself inside of you, clinging to your arm for dear life. Her nails are digging into your skin and damn does it hurt but it’s also kind of adorable in a weird way. You put your arm around her and she adjusts herself to claw at your shoulder.

“No more roller coasters.” 

About halfway through the ride, Jake looks back at the two of you. In fact, most people have stared at you. Calliope is probably the loudest person you have ever heard when it comes to screeching (and yes, you are very aware of how that sounds out of context). 

Jake grins and pulls out his phone. You smile and make a peace sign with your arm not around Callie. Poor Callie doesn’t even know Jake’s taking a picture of her. Well, it’ll certainly make excellent blackmail material once this is over. 

Calliope has really screamed herself hoarse by the end of the ride. In fact, when you go over the loop de loop you can’t even hear her scream. This is really going to be a great story in a few days. 

“Now, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” You ask once the ride finishes and you’re waiting to get out.

Calliope sends you a look. She looks like she’s seen absolute hell. “I’m never doing that again.” 

You laugh. “That was kinda funny, though, ya gotta admit.”

She just shakes her head. “That was satanic cruelty, that’s what that was.”

“Carnival games?” Dirk asks once you’re all off the roller coaster.

“Anything but roller coasters.” Is Callie’s hoarse response. 

You end up splitting up once you get to the game section. The games Dirk and Jake want to play are different from what Callie and you want to play, so you just agree to meet up back at camp. 

Calliope is pulling you around by your arm, pointing out all the different games. “This is so exciting!” She says, “I’ve never been to something like this before.”

“Well, what game do you want to play first?” She’s like a little kid in a candy store.

She looks around for a while, and then her eyes light up. “Roxy,” she breathes. 

“I guess you found it, then?”

Calliope nods excitedly. “You can win a fish.” 

You’re about to tell her that carnival fish are all just setups and they die really soon after you win them, but there is no way in hell you’re going to burst her bubble. After all, the carnival fish lesson is a lesson that everybody learns the hard way. 

The game with the fish takes up two booths so two people can play at the same time. While Calliope waits in line on one, you go to the slightly further one with no line. The game is fairly easy. Toss a ball in a glass and win a fish. 

Five dollars gives you twenty shots, and you figure why the hell not. You go through fifteen balls in a row without getting a single one in. And then a miracle happens and you land a shot directly in that vase.

“Oh, hell yes!” You exclaim. 

Of course, that seems to be your one lucky shot, and you don’t get any others in. But that’s okay because you got a fish and the fish is all that matters. You hold the fish out of Calliope’s line of sight. She’s going to love this. 

Callie finishes soon enough, hiding something behind her back. Then again, so are you.

“Hi, Roxy.” She says with a slight giggle. 

“Hey, Callie.” 

You both brandish your fish at the same time, handing them to the other. “I got you a fish.” You say in unison.

“What? Oh, thank you, Roxy! Thank you thank you thank you!” Calliope exclaims, wrapping her arms around you after being careful that she doesn’t hurt the fish.

You hug her back. “Thank you, too, Callie.” 

Calliope lets you go after a while, smiling like a little kid. “Are we gonna play some more games?”

“Hell yeah we are.” You say. “See, it isn’t a carnival until you play every single game there.”

The wonder in Calliope’s eyes could probably end global warming or some equally amazing shit. “All of them?” 

You nod. “Every single damn one.”

“Okay.” She grins, looking around. “How about we start on that end and work our way around?” 

“Sounds like a plan.”

The first game on the far end of the carnival where Callie suggested you go is a luck game. One of those shitty things where you pick up a duck and the color underneath it tells you what kind of prize you win. The big prizes are the most adorable kitten stuffed animals. You pray that love is on your side.

“Now, before we begin, I’d like to lay out some ground rules.” You say. Calliope looks up at you, eyebrows raised in question.

“The object of this challenge is to get as many prizes as you can, as big as you can get them, while only playing each game once. There is no sympathy gifting! Also, I brought these big bags we could put them in. No opening the bag until we get back to camp.” 

She laughs. “Sounds easy enough. You’re going down.”

“That’s what you think.”

Calliope goes first at the duck game. She inspects the ducks for a while before finally just closing her eyes and choosing whatever the magnetized wand thing clicks to first. Sure enough, the sticker underneath is fucking red and she wins the big pink cat stuffed animal.

“Beat that.” She teases, hugging her stuffed animal to her chest. 

You scoff at her and hand her one of those stretchy trash bags for her to put her winnings in. “That was totally just beginner’s luck.” 

“I’d like to see you get a red duck.” Calliope crosses her arms at you. 

“Is that a challenge?”

She grins. “You bet it is!”

You shake your head and hand the man handling the game your money. “This is so easy.” You tell Calliope.

“Whatever you say, Roxy.” Calliope laughs.

You close your eyes and select a rubber ducky at random – it can’t be that hard, can it? – and pull it out of the river thing. “See? Not very hard.”

And… it’s fucking yellow. A fucking small prize. Can you believe that? No, you most certainly cannot. It’s just the first game, yes, but Calliope is currently beating you. You cannot accept that. You have to beat her. 

“Well, it’s only the first game!” You say in your defense while you’re handed some lame ass pig stuffed animal that’s barely as big as your hand.

Calliope shakes her head. “Whatever you say, Roxy.”

“You just have beginner’s luck! That’s all! I am going to win!” 

She laughs again. “Just keep telling yourself that, love.”

It is only beginner’s luck that Calliope keeps winning. That is literally all it is. And yes, she keeps winning. She gets the bigger prizes than you almost all the time. When you triumph over her, it feels really fucking great. Calliope just laughs at you, no matter what happens. 

“Look! The balloon popping game! That sounds fun, and it’s next!” You exclaim excitedly, holding your bag of prizes with some degree of difficulty. Of course, Calliope’s is probably a hundred times worse. The bag is bigger than she is.

Calliope flinches. She hates popping balloons, and you know it. “Can’t wait.” 

You know you should feel bad about making her play it. In fact, you should probably just skip it altogether and go on to the next game. But you’ll be damned if you’re not going to win this stupid challenge. Of all the years you have gone to this fireworks display, you have not lost one single time. You are not going to give in now.

“I can go first.” You volunteer. Callie’s been going first for all of them, since she went first for the first game and you’re alternating turns.

You thought she would jump at the chance, but Calliope sets her jaw and shakes her head. “I’m going to get this thing over with.” 

Calliope asks the woman handling the game to explain how to play. It sounds simple enough. She gives you fifteen darts for five dollars, and depending on how many balloons you pop you win a prize. All the prizes are shitty blown-up plastic hammers, but you still need to win. 

She stares at the wall of balloons once she gets the darts, narrowing her eyes. She decides to go for the far left balloon in the middle row first. Callie’s really concentrating on this. If you’re going to win this, you’re going to have to concentrate just as hard as she is. 

With precision and grace, Calliope throws the first dart. 

Pop. The first balloon breaks upon impact. She doesn’t even flinch or blink or anything, just watches it as it bursts. And then, after she’s aligned herself with the second balloon in the middle row, she throws the dart again. 

Pop. Pop. Pop. Pop. One after the other, all five balloons in the middle row are popped. Callie doesn’t miss once. Now that is concentration. It’s a tad intimidating, to be completely honest. She’s paying such close attention to this stupid game that there is no way in hell she’s going to lose.

The bottom row is gone even faster than the middle. She’s gotten the hang of it, you think. She’s gonna get another big prize. And then even if you get a big prize, you’ll still be behind her. Damn, you’ve got to step up your game. 

At last, when it seems like all is lost, a light shines directly into your life. The only row left is the top row, which has been set up so little children can’t hit it. That way, they won’t get the big prizes.

Callie is too short for the top row! 

Oh, damn, you have never been this happy. It’s like you’re having a field day. No, it’s not like that. It is that. You are totally, one hundred percent having a field day.

Calliope grits her teeth. She shakes her head and looks back at you. You’re in the middle of shoving your fist into your mouth so you don’t burst out laughing. Callie raises her eyebrow at you.

“What?”

“Don’t laugh at my pain.” You think she’s kidding. Is she kidding? She’s being so serious, it’s hard to tell.

It looks like she’s going to try and attempt a win anyway. Calliope focuses just as hard as she was before and shoots for the far left balloon, just like she did to the two previous rows. She narrows her eyes and leans over, placing her elbows on the wooden counter.

And she lets the dart fly.

Thud. The dart hits something, sure, but not the balloon it was supposed to. Instead, it lands smack in the middle of the bullseye for the balloon that used to be directly below it. 

Calliope curses under her breath. You’ve got to stop thinking of her as some innocent little baby who doesn’t know any curse words. She lives with Caliborn, for God’s sake. Still, hearing her use such dirty swears is shocking.

She shakes it off and tries her other four shots. All four of them miss by the split of a hair. You almost feel bad for her. Except you don’t because that means you have better chance of winning!

“My turn!” You shout as Callie is handed her medium prize, an inflated hammer. 

You recall everything Callie did before she shot at a balloon. Narrowing your eyes. Leaning in to decrease the distance between you and the balloon. Blocking out everything in your mind except for the dart and the balloon. 

Pop. Oh hell yeah. You did it! You popped the balloon! 

This ain’t even that hard, now that you’ve got the hang of it. Still, you use the same amount of heavy concentration on the next balloons as you did for the first one. You choose to follow Calliope’s strategy, starting at the middle and then going to the bottom. You save the top for last, just because it seems to be the hardest one. 

Pop. Pop. Pop. Pop. Pop. Pop. 

Although you are much taller than Calliope and you can reach the top row just fine. Which means you can pop all the balloons. All of them. Which means you win a big prize. So you are one step ahead of her. And you might even win!

You accept your giant inflated rubber mallet gratefully, laughing as Calliope glares at you. 

“You may have won this, but you haven’t won the entire challenge.” Calliope informs you. 

“Who says I haven’t?”

She grins. “Oh, but it isn’t over yet.” 

“It might not be over, but it’s over for you.” 

“That’s what you think.”

You smirk. “That’s what I know.”

Calliope raises her eyebrows at you but moves on to the next game. She wins it. Of course she does. But you win the next two in a row, so in your face, Calliope. 

Almost too soon, you’re done with all the games. Jake calls you saying they played all the games and they’re near the duck game. You laugh and say you did the same thing, but you’re near the water squirting game. It’s better to just go back to the camp as two separate parties instead of meeting up, so that’s what you do. 

You and Callie get there first, since you were closer. Calliope starts to open her garbage bag, which is filled to the brim, but you stop her. If Dirk and Jake did the same thing, then all four of you are in this game and there can only be one winner.

“Now, that’s not fair! I would’ve upped my game more if I knew I was playing against three people!” Calliope pouts.

“Like you weren’t already trying your best?”

She sticks her tongue out at you. “There would’ve been more pressure put on me! I might’ve performed better!”

You nod sarcastically. “Uh huh.”

“I see you two have acquired some loot,” Dirk observes as he sits down in front of you. 

Jake sits next to him. “It’s every man for themselves, right?”

You nod. “Shit’s about to get real.” 

“Just how seriously do you guys take this?” Callie asks. 

“Pretty darn seriously,” Jake answers.

“Does she know the points system?” Dirk asks at the same time Jake answers.

Callie looks thoroughly weirded out by that. “There’s a points system?”

“You poor vanilla child.” Dirk lays an ironically sympathetic hand on her shoulder.

“I think you all are taking this too seriously.” She says, looking to you for help. 

 

“Alright, let’s show Callie the points system. Jakey, get the charts.” You instruct. Jake reaches behind him and into his backpack. He pulls out this old, battered notebook from, like, ten years ago. 

Everyone gathers into a fucked-up four person circle that looks more like a square. You flip the pages of the notebook to first open one. Three nostalgic smiles and one very confused gaze meet the chart.

On the notebook is a printed chart. It’s made in pencil and filled in with all of your shitty middle school penmanship. There are four columns, each labelled with a name. “Roxy” in your relatively neat print, “Jake” in his small precise cursive, “Dirk” printed in capital letters to show how many shits he gave about his penmanship (none), and “Jane” in her huge loopy cursive. Below the names are twenty lines, one for every game at the carnival. The scores have yet to be filled in. 

Calliope gets out her own pen and writes in a column next to your name that says “Calliope” in perfect cursive. You smile at her, and she blushes. Still flirting after a year, aren’t you?

“So, the point system goes like this: since there are three different sizes of prizes, there are three different points you could get. One point for the stupid small thing, three points for a medium, and six for a large. One fish is one point. Also, yes, we could’ve done one, two, and three, but we clearly did not give a shit.” You explain. Calliope nods. 

“Question. Why did you have to make the one fish, one point rule? How many times have you won more than one fish?” 

You and Jake turn to look at Dirk, trying not to burst into laugh. Dirk puts his hand on his chest dramatically, like this is his moment in the limelight. “Because, dear Calliope, one year I won twenty fish.” 

Callie opens her mouth to say something and then closes it again. “Okay.” She says after a while. 

You’re about ready to tear open your garbage bag. “Are we gonna get on with this or what?”

Everybody else is about as excited as you are, and pretty soon you’ve all teared right into the bags. Shitty carnival prizes are being lined up one after the other all over your respectful towels. As always, there’s bickering and shouting amongst everyone, but eventually everything is lined up. 

“Is everybody ready?” You ask, holding the notebook and a pen.

There’s a chorus of three eager “yes”es, and the counting begins. 

“I’m starting with myself because I’m the writer-downer and I do what I want.” You declare, but your declaration is met with a lot of protesting.

“Okay, okay, fine. I’ll do… Jake first.” You decide, just saying the first name that comes to your mind.

Jake comes out with a total of 58. Your total is 76, which makes you very cool and also probably the winner. Callie gets 70. She looks like she’s going to kill someone, making a whole case about how you probably took a prize of yours while she wasn’t looking, but it’s very obvious that she’s kidding. Dirk is the last one.

“Are you ready for this, Dirk?” you ask. “The big finish? To see if I really am the supreme, or if you’re going to take my title?”

“We all know the answer.” Dirk informs you.

“Why yes. I’m clearly going to win this.” You say.

Dirk rolls his eyes as you calculate his score. He makes sure he looks at the phone screen while you do the calculations, in case you “cheat.” 

“Okay, so you’ve got five fish and three small prizes, which is eight… Two medium prizes, that’s six… Plus eight is fourteen… Ten big things times six is sixty… Fourteen plus sixty is… 74! Ha! I win! In your fucking face!!!” You exclaim, doing a little victory dance. 

Dirk pouts and pulls your calculator closer to him. “That’s bullshit… I totally won!”

Jake and Callie shake their heads. “Roxy’s right. She won.”

“Heck yeah I won!” 

You thought that nobody could get tired of your victory dance, but it turns out that people armed with stuffed animals will throw things at you if you don’t shut the fuck up. 

-.-.-.-

About an hour after your totally amazing victory, the sun begins to set. Things have begun to calm down. Most people at the field are sitting down playing games or reading or talking. The clouds are very pretty today (or “exquisite”, as Callie said), almost as if they’re waiting for something to happen.

Speaking of that something. Jake seems to be more uptight than usual, and he keeps sending you looks. You nod at him every time he does, trying to egg him on. But he won’t do it. You decide to text him.

Roxy: Look, Jakey.   
Roxy: there is a goddamn bee-oot-yful sunset goin down rn  
Roxy: and I do recall someone sayin theyre doin some proposing  
Roxy: aka just fucking do it  
Roxy: do it for shia, jake   
Roxy: shia labeouf wants you to just do it  
Jake: you think so?  
Roxy: i kno so  
Roxy: now I will propose to him if you don’t 

Jake sends you a cautious look and you nod at him. 

“Uh, Dirk, can you come over here for a second?” Jake asks hesitantly.

Dirk looks up from his phone. “What is it?”

“There’s… uh… a bug. And I need you to kill it.” Jake stutters. Okay, as far as lame excuses go, that one was really lame.

You walk over to Calliope with the camera, angling yourself so you can get the perfect shot. She raises her eyebrow at you in silent question. You just grin at her. 

“Oh my god,” Callie mouths. You suppose it clicked for her.

You nod.

Dirk stands and walks over to Jake. “You literally grew up on an island in the middle of nowhere with thousands of bugs.” He shakes his head, laughing. “Where is it?”

“Over there.” Dirk turns around and looks at the ground, still standing. Damn, he could at least pretend to look for the damn bug.

Jake looks over at you, fear plain on his face. You snap a picture of him like that, with your hand giving him a thumbs up in the corner. 

He gets down on one knee, holding a little black box in his hands. 

Dirk spins back around. “I didn’t see a bug, it probably ran off or some- holy shit.” He covers his mouth with his hands. You take another picture. The sunset is a wonderful background.

Jake grins. “Dirk Strider. I have known you for over thirteen years, and those thirteen years have without a doubt been the best thirteen years of my life. I knew I loved you from the moment I laid my eyes on you. And shut up, okay, because I know that’s sappy, but it’s true. 

The four years I have been your boyfriend have been even better than when we were only friends. I came to realize that home isn’t an island in the Pacific Ocean or a small house in a New York suburb or a dingy apartment I bought just because I could or the apartment constantly marked with grease that you called your own or hotels in the middle of Europe filled with my own emptiness. My home is your arms.

“I can’t tell you how sorry I am that this didn’t happen three years ago. I made so many mistakes, and I’m sorry for that. Don’t try to tell me that it’s okay, because it’s not. I ran away from you, and I shouldn’t have. You were my everything, and that was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. 

“Thank you so, so much for forgiving me for that. You gave me a second chance when I didn’t deserve it, and I love you beyond measure for that. 

“I am going to prove to you that giving me that chance wasn’t a waste of your time. I am never going to leave you ever again, I can promise you that. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, no matter what happens. Dirk, you have my word that I will never run away from home again.

“Will you do me the absolute honor of marrying me?”

They’re both visibly crying now. God, what dorks. You take another picture quickly before Dirk reacts. 

Dirk tries to say something, you think, but he ends up making this really high-pitched guttural noise. Instead, he keeps his hands clamped over his mouth in surprise and nods repeatedly. 

Jake grins like a huge idiot and jumps up from his former position, sliding the ring on Dirk’s finger and pulling him into a kiss. They’re both laughing like crazy, kissing and hugging and being overall adorable. You’re trying really, really hard not to gag. You snap a bunch of pictures of them with the sunset in the background.

“Yes, yes, a thousand times yes.” Dirk chokes out. 

Most people in the field are clapping after a while, a few whistling and shouting things like “get a room” and just plain “get some”. You and Calliope high five. Your boys finally fucking made it. 

-.-.-

Aside from Dirk and Jake being sickeningly sweet and all engaged and whatever, nothing eventful really happens until the fireworks. 

You and Calliope are smart enough to tell that the two of them are perfectly fine on their own. They’re wrapped up in a blanket even though it isn’t that cold, talking to each other in low voices. They probably don’t want to be interrupted. 

So it’s really just the two of you. 

But that’s okay. You like one on one conversation with Calliope because she’s so fun to talk to and your heart still flutters when she looks at you or says something. Unfortunately, your conversation dies out almost as soon as the fireworks start.

It’s so easy to get lost in the fireworks. You’re sitting right next to Calliope on her blanket, your knees touching. The firework display is almost so tantalizing that you don’t feel fire spreading through your body from your knee. Almost.

About halfway through the display, Calliope turns to you. 

“Roxy?” She murmurs, so close to you that you can hear her even though she’s barely speaking.

“Calliope?”

“I was thinking. About how you told me to think about it. Think about us.” You know exactly what she’s talking about. “And I’ve thought about it.”

You look over at her. Her breath ghosts on your cheeks and it smells like mint and vanilla and Calliope.

“What’d you decide?”

She searches your eyes for some sort of emotion, but you’re just watching her. 

“Yes.” 

That’s the last thing she says before she softly takes your jaw in her hands and moves your lips together.

The kiss is soft and sweet and gentle. It’s full of happiness and summer and the promise of a future like this and Calliope. All of your thoughts, all of your functioning body parts stop. The only thing you’re aware of is her. 

You can just barely hear the faint sound of fireworks in the distance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy shit?? this is longer than the first harry potter book, thats a thing  
> it feels really weird to just be done with this, you know? anyway, thank you so much if you're one of the people who stuck with me and this fic through this whole shitstorm.  
> also. i have a half-finished davekat fic for this universe that i'll probably finish in the near future. so. 
> 
> also! you can find me on tumblr at johnllauren


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